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Confessions of a Divemaster


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6 replies to this topic

#1 georoc01

georoc01

    I spend too much time on line

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 07:42 PM

https://www.yahoo.co...7168808167.html

#2 little mermaid

little mermaid

    I need to get a life

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Posted 16 September 2014 - 09:32 PM

Thanks for the laugh George!!! HA HA I am sure these are on the first 2 pages!! The rest of the book has to be equally as funny! :teeth:/>

#3 MNJoe

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 09:52 AM

I have had more than one person (non diver) ask me how I see on night dives, they seem to feel pretty silly when I tell them "With a Light."

"just your average Joe from Minnesota, also known as Keith"


#4 Greg@ihpil

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    I spend too much time on line

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Posted 17 September 2014 - 07:14 PM

Thanks George,
I especially liked the new phrase ‘Dilligaf,’ and the scuba cat...Posted Image
Greg
: Posted Image
E= pluribus Forum Enjoy the view. ,Do unto others:respect

#5 ChumShiver

ChumShiver

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Posted 22 June 2015 - 07:11 PM

Gawd, I feel for the poor slobs who work on dive boats and at resorts. I have seen a few of these cabbage-brained people myself. The oddest was this little Asian girl, who had this nervous laugh when she was in the water. "Are you okay?" "Hahaha I'm going to die hahaha I'm too heavy hahaha I'm cold hahaha I want to get out hahaha." She got out, and promptly complained. Why did I take her out of the water? Because you were getting hysterical, girl. Note: she came with us on another tropical dive trip, and did okay. Nervous laugh and all.

 

"... degloved her finger to the bone." Damn, sounds like an injury we get in the field in the oil patch. I've seen the aftermath of a guy's whole arm that got degloved. Bloodstain the size of a table on the frozen ground. Some poor rig slob got delegated to go chip the blood off the ground, after the safety supervisor thought it should be cleaned up.



#6 ScubaTex

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Posted 05 July 2015 - 08:58 PM

I was recently on a liveaboard, and was assigned to my roommate as a dive buddy. His first prophetic statement was he was a member of a nationally ranked college swim team in the 60's. His second was stating, he didn't need a dive computer, he was a retired math teacher, he would dive TABLES [he was diving air!!]. First dive, he jumped right after me, and immediately lost a fin. Within three days, the computer the boat had 'loaned' him was locked out for the remainder of the trip. His remark to me as I was gearing up for the next dive, " I'm going to the room to do the math." I don't where he was going to find the NDL logarithm. Strike 3, you're OUT!!! 


Time on earth is precious, time underwater even more so. Live life one day at a time. Dive your @$$ off!!!


#7 Sqbagal

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Posted 05 July 2015 - 09:47 PM

How about my boat-assigned dive buddy who was going to go on a Manta night dive where basically you kneel on the sand in 20ft of water and wait for the show. At the end of the dive briefing, he asked the DM if there was anything down there that could hurt him.  When the DM responded that there were occasionally sand jellies, but just swish them away with your hand and you'll be fine; he responded, "Should I wear jeans?" :wacko:  :lmao:


Instead of "SINGLE" as a marital status, I prefer "Independently Owned & Operated"




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