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Wanted: Nice Guys


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#151 ScubaSis

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Posted 09 January 2008 - 09:06 PM


<ahem> Freudian slip? <ahem>


It wasn't supposed to be that - I better go back to spelling school :twist:


Dudes and dudetts,
My two cents on this issue. I will probably ruffle a few feathers but here goes anyway:
1. Being married was cool but so is being single. Both can really suck too. Life is what you make it. So you might as well make it good.
2. Women are romanticly attracted to men who are masculine. They become "just friends" with men who are not masculine.
3. Men are romanticly attracted to women who are feminine. They may become friends with feminine women if they are unavailable in hopes that they can stay in touch until they are available. Otherwise men dont really become friends with women. I'm not talking about being "friendly" but men dont generally become good friends with women
4. Its not that women fall for bad boys. It's just that most bad boys are masculine.
5. Forget the idea that "if you love something set it free...the real deal is that "if you love something go out and win it...in battle...be her knight in shining armor...slay a dragon for her...dont hope that she loves you...leave her no choice.
6. Same goes for women. Dont wait around for some guy to notice you...that is long gone...get in his face (in a feminine way) and let him know that you are attracted to him...he'll be amazed and flattered and will quickly respond. If he doesn't respond quickly he never will...so move on.
PS: Please notice I didn't say anything about sex. Despite the agressive nature of my opinions, I don't believe in sex wothout love (anymore) and that takes a while to develope in any relationship.

techintime


Very nicely said!!!


:)





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#152 finley

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 05:03 PM

OH MY GOSH!!! I've been out of touch for a year and the debate continues. How interesting.
who's leading this parade anyway?

#153 Guest_PlatypusMan_*

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 07:15 PM

OH MY GOSH!!! I've been out of touch for a year and the debate continues. How interesting.


Finley!! You're back!!!

What happened to you? Will you be at the HH after the Texas Dive Show?

PPM

#154 a_fl_mermaid

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 07:34 PM

WAKE UP!!!!

You guys are suffering from delusions.

Women (most of them, anyway and all the ones in which you'd be interested) LIKE nice guys. Just because they aren't interested in you and do date the bad boys doesn't mean they don't like nice guys. YOUR problem is you don't understand the concept of a nice guy.

You have fallen victim of watching bad movies and listening to your mothers. Both are horrible places to get dating advice. Being a nice guy does not mean being a door mat or a wimp. Women are NOT attracted to wimps. When you act like a wimp, you turn women OFF!!!! Stop acting like a wimp. You can be confident, and decisive and still be a nice guy. You can open doors for women (and other men, for that matter) without being a wimp.

Many "nice guys" are trying to manipulate women and women can spot it immediately. Be yourself. Act like you're with you guy friends. Be funny, tease a woman, make her laugh. Nothing is more attractive to a woman than a man who makes her laugh and who takes charge. Women like strong men. If you are constantly complimenting her, it comes across as manipulative. Stop it.

Have you ever noticed that women in whom you have no interest are often attracted to you? That's because you are a nice guy, you are attractive to women when you are simply "being yourself." If you aren't attracted to a woman, you treat her differently than you treat women to whom you are attracted. When you're attracted to a woman, you aren't yourself when she's around. Instead you turn into a wimp. STOP it!!!!!

Never ask a woman for a date. Instead, invite her to join you on an adventure. Plan something fun, diving is an excellent choice, then go do it and have a blast regardless of her joining you. Your enjoyment should not be dependent on her being there. Women are like men in that they like to have fun. If you are having fun, women will want to be with you. If you're not having fun, they'll want to be elsewhere.

Russian, Belorussian, and Ukrainian women are beautiful, they are wonderful ladies, but they live in countries with horrible economies. They are desperate to come to the US, Canada or western Europe. They will profess undying love just to escape the conditions under which they live. They will marry you, have children with you and in the process might even fall in love with you, but not if you continue to be a wimp. If you remain a wimp with women, they'll leave you as soon as they can do so and legally stay in the west. Others from the former USSR will try to trick you into sending them money.

Clean up your act and you won't need to look to the former Soviet Union for women.



#155 a_fl_mermaid

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Posted 11 January 2008 - 07:37 PM

jholley309.....



It goes both ways! I'm have experienced the same type of things you describe, only of course from the women's side. Guys who say they want to "take it slow" but fail to mention they want it so slow I might not hear from them again until next Christmas!

I REALLY like what Walter had to say, most of the other threads I haven't finished reading. One thing is for sure you gotta smile, and just keep on trying!

Edited by a_fl_mermaid, 11 January 2008 - 07:39 PM.


#156 jholley309

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Posted 06 February 2008 - 10:52 AM

Thanks!

By the way, the latest on my looong-distance relationship is that the K-1 Fiance Visa process is well underway; in fact, she just got the first document package from the consulate in Warsaw today. :cheerleader: :cheerleader: It won't be long until she's here. (finally!) Now, I just gotta get her used to water and maybe spark her interest in diving...

Boy! Talk about a thread that just won't quit! I'm a little surprised that it's still going after so long! For sure, it has been an interesting discussion, with all kinds of input from quite diverse points of view. Very cool!

Cheers!

Jim
(Back after a little...er, lengthy hiatus)

jholley309.....



It goes both ways! I'm have experienced the same type of things you describe, only of course from the women's side. Guys who say they want to "take it slow" but fail to mention they want it so slow I might not hear from them again until next Christmas!

I REALLY like what Walter had to say, most of the other threads I haven't finished reading. One thing is for sure you gotta smile, and just keep on trying!


Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is what you do in spite of your fear.

Every man has fear. Any man who has no fear belongs in an institution. Or in Special Forces.

#157 RiverPearl

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Posted 08 December 2008 - 08:55 PM

I started to reply to a post in another thread, but thought "Why not start a whole new thread, since I'm about to hijack this one anyway!" So, in a continuation of the discussion from the "Guys and their codes" thread, here goes:

I’ve been biting my tongue on this for a while. But this question always gets me. The absolute truth is that women don’t want nice guys. I know, it sounds like a broad generalization, but it’s mostly true. I know because I fall in this category. What makes me think that I’m a “nice guy?” Well, it’s because after dating a women, I normally get the “you’re a nice guy, and I want to stay friends” speech. But here is the kicker, they REALLY do want to stay friends. In fact, most of my ex’s still call to tell me about their current “favor of the week jerk boyfriends.” Then, to twist the knife in my back, I get the “why can’t I find a nice guy like you?” Then, after I explain to them that I’m here, they retort with either, “but I don’t want to lose our friendship,” or “I’m just not attracted to you in that way.”


Aha! You too? I thought I was the only one...

Seriously, it has gotten so frustrating after all the online dating searches, volunteering to try to meet new people, and even considering some of my church friends, that I finally resorted to international dating. It was the only place I could find a woman (actually, a whole bunch of them) that still had traditional values like mutual respect and caring that I have been looking for, along with a strong desire for family and children. Let's face it, at 35 if I want to have a couple of kidlets of my own, I gotta get on the stick. If there are any women in the US who get it, I haven't met them and have given up hope of ever finding one. Besides, there's this cute little English professor in Belarus... :D


Now that a man has had his say what about "why doesn't a guy what a nice girl?' They meet, they fall in love, works for awhile, the man gets bored, the woman keeps trying to make him happy, the man stops doing the things he did before they married, she keeps going on, he wants a divorce because he's not happy anymore.....men have hunter instincts....he stalks...captures...glories in the capture....time for the next "dear" hunt!"

Just like Moose, I'm so tired of being such a good friend. I want more than that. I want a wife, a lover, a mother to my children, a partner, a confidant, a soulmate, a critic when I need one, and a cheerleader when I need one of those, too. I can't tell you how many profiles I've read that state their desire to find a great guy like me, only to get deafening silence when I attempted to initiate contact. Action speaks much louder that words, baby. Don't tell me you want such a great guy. Show me. I am absolutely fed up with women who profess to be serious about long term relationships, then run away screaming in terror at the mere thought of mentioning the word "marriage". I don't even have to say it. I just have to think it a little too loud.

So if I'm such a great catch, why am I still sitting here with no one but my cats to keep me company? Ah, forget it. I'll just keep writing and calling my new friend in Belarus. At least she isn't afraid of the "M" word.

Cheers!

Jim


On the thresehold of singledom

#158 dive_sail_etc

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 10:23 AM

OH MY GOSH!!! I've been out of touch for a year and the debate continues. How interesting.


Don't look now Finley, but it appears RP has just resuscitated this thread after another year's slumber. Should prove interesting...

But I will remain mum for a bit; how uncharacteristically considerate of me, I know... :( Okay, all right, I'm chicken! So sue me. :cool2:

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#159 Victoria

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 02:41 PM

Brad, I would not have ever thought you were chicken!! :cool1: C'mon! Let 'er rip! :lmao:
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#160 pmarie

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 03:21 PM

Yeah Brad, I'm with Victoria; let's hear it!!!

#161 RiverPearl

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 05:14 PM

Don't know who said this but, "Young love is loving someone for what they do right.....Mature love is loving someone in spite of what they do wrong" unfortunately they are few and far between mature enough to handle a "mature" love !!!! Being that love always changes(hopefully improves and gets alittle easier as time goes by and you learn, adjust, accept each other's personalities) most of the time most people thinks its easier to throw it all to the curb and start over when in fact, you sooner or later end up with most of the same problems with a different person......it becomes an endless cycle unless you can meet someone that realizes it ok to not like your spouse or SO :tears: on occasion but you know you still love them :flirt:

Edited by RiverPearl, 09 December 2008 - 05:18 PM.

On the thresehold of singledom

#162 RiverPearl

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Posted 09 December 2008 - 05:32 PM

[.

Edited by RiverPearl, 09 December 2008 - 07:04 PM.

On the thresehold of singledom




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