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Speaking of expenses


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20 replies to this topic

#1 ereediver

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 05:09 PM

I was thinking while I made my last post about how other deal with the "Do you really need that?" from the significant other. For the most part my wife knows about all my major purchases. I do know folks who buy big ticket items on the sly, then deal with the repercussions later. Then there are those who have separate accounts pay separate bills and buy separate things. So I was just throwing it how there What group are you, and does buying SCUBA gear create friction?


John

#2 drbill

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 05:11 PM

I have no significant other (at least not in the usual sense of the phrase), although I'm still looking. Therefore I make the purchases without consulting anyone except my bank (and not on credit). If I had one, she'd probably have "all" the money, so I'd definitely have to consult her (just teasing).

#3 jextract

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 05:16 PM

My wife and I have separate accounts. That way, I have no say if she chooses to buy something she wants or vice versa. I will never again, EVER, have a joint account. I work way too hard to have to ask permission for ANYTHING I want to spend my money on.
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#4 jeff

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 06:43 PM

i have a friend who is with a girl and their kid. I call them married. He's buying the house(soon to get her name on it) and she buys everything else (food, tv, phone, power...) and they buy their own cars. They never fight about money ((i don't want to hear about never say never)) They have found an arrangement that works very well for them, to the outside public.
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#5 cmt489

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 07:10 PM

When I was married my ex had no idea what the accounts even looked like let alone was was bought or spent. I do, however, recall this past year going on a little shopping spree (okay, a big one) and the sales clerk commenting that I may need to sneak things in the house. My comment was that my dog doesn't seem to care what I buy... :D

#6 finGrabber

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 08:23 PM

If you're in a community property state like Texas and you're not married, then separate accounts are a must!

Also, I believe statistics show that the most common point of friction in any marriage is finances

#7 nurseshark

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Posted 19 January 2007 - 10:45 PM

If you're in a community property state like Texas and you're not married, then separate accounts are a must!

Also, I believe statistics show that the most common point of friction in any marriage is finances



This is very true and excellant advice!

My ex and I were married for 23 years and all our major arguments were about money...
He was overly controlling and hid every penny he could. He had other issues but this was the biggie. He even insisted my paychecks go directly into his accounts but I had no access to my money ....I was kept virtually in the dark about all our finances and I really did have to"" sneak" in any purchases..even groceries and kids clothes , etc..it was a nightmare...

I will NEVER EVER share finances with anyone. Separate accounts are a must. But ..you both need to be open and honest about what it is you want and need ..Secrets lead to distrust..

I can now say,after happily shopping without going home sick with anxiety, my dog loves all that I get and thinks my tastes are Fabulous!! :lmao:

Karen

Edited by nurseshark, 19 January 2007 - 10:45 PM.


#8 madlobster

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Posted 20 January 2007 - 01:43 PM

Janet and I have joint accounts and have for years. We are both free to buy what we would like but of course before any major purchases we do we will review them.
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#9 ddierolf

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 02:50 PM

Anyone have a "What's her's is her's and what's mine is her's" ?

Which end is up?


#10 Landlocked Dive Nut

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 03:18 PM

For over 18 years, I had a joint account with my spouse. Since I'm an accountant I handled all the money, bills, investments, taxes. etc.

Now that we're on the rocks marriage-wise, we have separated our finances for the most part. I'm sure it's a shock to his system to have to deal with his own bills & banking... and investments? Fuggedaboudit! He'll be asking me questions for years....
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#11 ddierolf

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 04:50 PM

For over 18 years, I had a joint account with my spouse. Since I'm an accountant I handled all the money, bills, investments, taxes. etc.

Now that we're on the rocks marriage-wise, we have separated our finances for the most part. I'm sure it's a shock to his system to have to deal with his own bills & banking... and investments? Fuggedaboudit! He'll be asking me questions for years....


I understand your situation very well!

Which end is up?


#12 Parrotman

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 05:25 PM

Anyone have a "What's her's is her's and what's mine is her's" ?



that is pretty much how it is around here. I don't see my paycheck, it goes directly into the bank. My wife has a trust fund that she gets income from that goes into a bank account in her name only. However that account does pay the property taxes, insurance etc.

It works for us. We have been married for 33 years and we never fight about money. That's cause I don't have any :lmao:

Just kidding. I get a pretty nice bonus from work every year and that is mine. I do with it as I please, I don't ask, or discuss.

It all works out in the end.
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#13 scubajunkie6

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 08:09 PM

Anyone have a "What's her's is her's and what's mine is her's" ?

We have separate checking accounts, and a joint savings account. We agree to talk about big purchases that we make, but I'd be upset if I had to account for all the purchases I make.

What hubby spends is his.

-Margaret

Edited by scubajunkie6, 18 February 2009 - 08:10 PM.


#14 clearvis

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 09:26 PM

I think every couple has to work out what works best for them, especially in two income families. Some do well with one person handling all the money, others don't. In my situation it created a lot of arguments in the early days, I guess since there wasn't that much coming in the real arguments were what to do with the little disposable income that we had. She might want to buy a piece of furniture and I'd want to buy diving or fishing gear. You have to set your priorities.

Once we divided up the checking accounts and bill paying responsibilities and income increased the arguments went away. We now have way too much furniture and probably too many of my toys too.

#15 ScubaSis

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Posted 18 February 2009 - 10:29 PM

I was burned on the joint accounts thing.

Not only do I think finances need to be kept separate I think a good prenuptial is a must!!

Not changing the subject but are prenups legal in Texas?????
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