All I can say is WOW! and to think I was looking at/in all the wrong places/people. lol
Haha, I actually try NOT to look. But I always make sure that if I know I'm in the wrong place, NOT to look.
As for my over winded story, I just needed to tell some "adult" people that are in a "similar" situation, i.e. SINGLE. I have a lot of young friends (most of them in relationships) and LOTS of married friends- young and more mature, and they are always very unsympathetic, and at times I've even felt judged by them because I'm not (un)happily married, with kids.
Honestly, I have been more focused and concerned with my education and career goals. I won't be happy in any relationship until I feel I've reached a certain level of success, the problem is that it has/still is, taking far longer than I wanted. And when I get bogged down with climbing that ladder, I've side tracked a bit and focused on more social endeavors.
For instance, Back in April I planned a trip to England to work on an archaeological dig on land because all my excavation work had been underwater so I started to arrange to tie in a trip to Egypt with this to stay for a month, complete my DM course and intern as a DM (and possibly do my Instructor level if I had enough money).
Then my one of my favorite musicians that I listened to religiously as a teen went on tour in the UK and all my friends that I met 3 years ago at one of his concerts in London, UK were following him through Scotland, England, Ireland and main land Europe. And, he was doing a special concert in Manchester England where he grew up for his 50th Birthday.
At first I told my friends I could only go to a couple of Scotland gigs because I had to go to Egypt. But then I thought, it's his 50th Birthday! And I wanted to "bond" with these "friends" so I decided to stay in the UK and go to the Birthday bash and I even tied in a trip to Loch Ness and the Orkney Islands way up by Norway- great archaeology on those islands.
Some might think that was the wrong choice, that I should spend all my money on dive training and field schools, etc. etc., but the fact of the matter is that I've stayed focused like that before, gave up all social life and it achieved nothing. From 25-31 I focused, focused on training and running marathons, working, working in sales and not making a stupid commission; school, finishing my BA in finance- math classes, law classes, classes, classes, classes! I never went out because I was so tired or had a paper, or an exam.
And then I realized, life was passing me by. And that's when I started to travel. I Lived at home with my parents and worked a seasonal minimum wage job- I could have gotten an apartment, well shared, and spent all my money on that , like I do now in San Diego, or I could save up at my parents house in the desert (where there is absolutely nothing cultural to do) and then escape the reality of my life for awhile by seeing the world. So even though I knew people judged me for "not being grown up and moving out of my parents", it wasn't because I wasn't capable or that I was being "unadult" like, it's just that I wasn't dealt that full-house that granted me the freedom to have my own place AND afford to travel and I knew I might never have the chance to see others parts of the world if I didn't.
Even so, I was willing to bit the bullet to have a successful career -way back in 2002 (when I was still in my 20s) I applied for city management jobs and took the 3 hour exams and got on the civil lists in the top tiers and I was never called for an interview (think of all the money I would have made in the last 7 years. I'd own my own home, have a nice car, no bad credit, money in the retirement fund, and lots of luxury vacations rather than my econ hostel travel I've done over the years). Same with City Planner positions, and the list of careers I'm qualified for goes on, and on, and on- and I'm still making under 16k?????? WTF?
Of course, I know that getting ahead has a lot more to do with what social class you are born into; what church you were raised in; who your parents knew/know; and who you know (that likes you) than with how hard you study in school and how hard you try. But I can't change that!
But I'm getting there, and hopefully when I do, I won't be miserable.
Edited by Jellyfishluv, 27 November 2009 - 04:35 PM.