266 replies to this topic

[echo3]

this thread reminds me of a time when I went with my friends wife to the grocery store (just plain old good friends)
anyway, we're standing at the deli counter and she's telling me how clueless I was as the girl working the counter was sending me all these signals..



I still don't get it and that was 14 years ago!


someone please help!

[Topless]

this thread reminds me of a time when I went with my friends wife to the grocery store (just plain old good friends)
anyway, we're standing at the deli counter and she's telling me how clueless I was as the girl working the counter was sending me all these signals..

When a woman tells you another woman is sending signals, that's a good sign.

She's seen the secret handbook and is versed in the signals.

[shadragon]

When a woman tells you another woman is sending signals, that's a good sign.

She's seen the secret handbook and is versed in the signals.

Even if you know the signals they are delivered too subtlety for us mere males to comprehend. ...and that has always been the case...

"And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable . . . Their most trivial action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or curling-tongs."

~ Sherlock Holmes - The Adventure of The Second Stain (Arthur Conan Doyle) Published in 1904.

[drbill]

When a woman tells you another woman is sending signals, that's a good sign.

She's seen the secret handbook and is versed in the signals.

The unfortunate thing is that a woman can send all the signals she wants to, but if she doesn't transmit them at the right frequency, we'll never detect them! His friend was a woman and she operated on the same frequency as the woman at the deli counter so she got it.

Edited by drbill, 28 August 2007 - 10:14 AM.

[WreckWench]

When a woman tells you another woman is sending signals, that's a good sign.

She's seen the secret handbook and is versed in the signals.

The unfortunate thing is that a woman can send all the signals she wants to, but if she doesn't transmit them at the right frequency, we'll never detect them! His friend was a woman and she operated on the same frequency as the woman at the deli counter so she got it.

True! That's why I had to have a bit of help when 'he' was showing interest in me. I just thought he was 'nice guy' and didn't realize he was interested in me in THAT way.

And of course it helps to have friends of the opposite sex so you can use their help decoding when needed!

[secretsea18]

Ask her out for coffee? No.

If she is really interested, a good way to show it is for her to ask me out to dinner! After all, we're supposed to be on equal footing now so why shouldn't the lady do the asking if she's interested?

Believe it or not, Bill, sometime ladies DO invite the gentleman out for a date, and also get that same response.
In Simon's case, if she said "No" and changes her mind, then it is upon her to re-initiate the date. Some of us don't give out false phone numbers and do return calls.

Agree there are women who DO this and I have nothing but respect for their assertiveness (even if I decline). However, there are still a lot of women (at least here in LA LA Land) who feel the male does the asking (although they may do their best to make it obvious) and then does all the paying... for the dinners, theater, diving, her clothes, etc.

I had one woman who felt I should buy her everything she saw that she wanted (clothes, jewelry, dinners, etc.) I ended up buying her a one way ticket back to the mainland... much cheaper in the long run!

Bill, there are actually women that expect the man to pay for everything??? It wasn't that way when I lived in Los Angeles.

All of my BFs expected not to pay for everything, as neither of us ever had any $$$, as starving students and then residents. I wonder where these narcissic ladies are, and why they are not readily identifiable at the start?

[drbill]

Bill, there are actually women that expect the man to pay for everything??? It wasn't that way when I lived in Los Angeles.

All of my BFs expected not to pay for everything, as neither of us ever had any $$$, as starving students and then residents. I wonder where these narcissic ladies are, and why they are not readily identifiable at the start?

PLENTY of them, believe me. I had one woman who actually said she'd go out with me on a second date so she could have another free dinner! Needless to say she didn't get asked. Another expected me to pay for all our dating activity.... AND every dress or outfit she liked in the store windows. Needless to say she didn't last long. Had another who expected me to pay for her cocaine. I don't use drugs (except for compressed air from a tank). Needless to say she never got another date.

On the other hand, I had a 7 1/2 relationship with a SoCal woman who was a great partner... we each paid according to our abilities and based on who suggested the activity. Still looking for another one like that. She and I are still friends after 7 years... I'm glad she found a new boyfriend who treats her well.

Edited by drbill, 29 August 2007 - 10:00 AM.

[Brinybay]

This conversation has taken an interesting turn. Who pays? Both should, really, especially on the first date. I dumped a gf several years ago when I found out she made 3 times as much as I did but I had been springing for everything for the first 6 months we were together.

IMHO - First dates should be dutch and shouldn't be anything fancy. I simply do not go on dinner-dates with strangers. I only go with women that I already know. That way we both know enough about each other to relax and enjoy the evening, plus we also know each other's financial situation. I don't understand the objection to just meeting for coffee/pie on the first date. I want to get to know something about a person other than they like to eat. Activities are my preferred way of getting to know a lady, a neutral atmosphere that we both enjoy (like diving). Or meet for coffee/pie or horse doovers and a drink, then go for a walk. If it hasn't been made clear that we'll go dutch, I'll pick up the tab for that on the first date, (hoping you'll offer to at least chip in), but if the lady is making a good income, often times more than I do, and still expects me to pay on subsequent dates, forget it, that's it, no more. I'm not interested in a "glorified prostitute" relationship where I pay and she puts out. Maybe I'm getting old, but I'd rather spend the money on a new dive toy.

What was the original question?

Edited by Brinybay, 29 August 2007 - 02:52 PM.

[drbill]

....but if the lady is making a good income, often times more than I do, and still expects me to pay on subsequent dates, forget it, that's it, no more. I'm not interested in a "glorified prostitute" relationship where I pay and she puts out.

Um, what do they charge... I might be desperate enough to be interested!

[Jellyfishluv]

You know drBill, I'm a SoCal gal, and I've always paid for everything. Well, I did let Oil Rig Dan (you know the one that got left out at the oils rigs and was spotted by a boy scout on a passing boat) buy me dinner one time after returning from a day of diving- and this was before his encounter with death at high sea.

I really hate the way you claim it is just SoCal or L.A. women- it is not the location, but the type you find yourself attracted to. Those type of woman are EVERYWHERE. And their attitudes are based on what society tells them anyways. Women are taught form little girls that if they are feminine and pretty that they will be taken care of- ah, fairy tales, Barbie dolls, beauty contests. Girls are STILL being taught that it is their looks (and their soul) that will support them- a man will marry them and take care of them, therefore they EXPECT a man to pay for everything.

But don't hate a good woman if she expects flowers and chocolates- that's the problem nowadays, those kind of women ruin it for the "normal" minded female that just likes a bit of romance now and then.

You shouldn't make us all sound so BAD!

Bill, there are actually women that expect the man to pay for everything??? It wasn't that way when I lived in Los Angeles.

All of my BFs expected not to pay for everything, as neither of us ever had any $$$, as starving students and then residents. I wonder where these narcissic ladies are, and why they are not readily identifiable at the start?

PLENTY of them, believe me. I had one woman who actually said she'd go out with me on a second date so she could have another free dinner! Needless to say she didn't get asked. Another expected me to pay for all our dating activity.... AND every dress or outfit she liked in the store windows. Needless to say she didn't last long. Had another who expected me to pay for her cocaine. I don't use drugs (except for compressed air from a tank). Needless to say she never got another date.

On the other hand, I had a 7 1/2 relationship with a SoCal woman who was a great partner... we each paid according to our abilities and based on who suggested the activity. Still looking for another one like that. She and I are still friends after 7 years... I'm glad she found a new boyfriend who treats her well.

[DiverBabs]

We were hitting it off well and so I asked her out for a coffee
This used to be a cool way to meet someone who was fairly unknown to you. But this topic came up on another board I follow and apparently the new consensus is asking someone out for coffee is a no no.

The women on the other board (not all) said that if a man really wants to get to know her then they should devote enough time for a proper date.

I personally like the idea of a lunch date or just meeting for coffee. Especially if it is someone that you really don’t know. If you enjoy each other’s company then great! Plan for more time together next time.

This conversation has taken an interesting turn. Who pays? Both should, really, especially on the first date. …….
………….
Or meet for coffee/pie or horse doovers and a drink, then go for a walk. If it hasn't been made clear that we'll go dutch, I'll pick up the tab for that on the first date, (hoping you'll offer to at least chip in),

I found this amusing, only because I’ve seen the other side of this one. I once had a date with a guy that I had met at a mutual friend’s house. He invited me for a casual lunch the next day. We ended up having lunch and talking for over an hour after. We (I thought) had a great time. When the bill came, he picked it up and got out his wallet. I spoke up and said “Why don’t we split that?” He insisted that he cover it and I could tell he didn’t like it that I had asked. Well, I’m pretty up front, so as we were leaving I asked if I had offended him by offering to split the check. He said no, so I just left it at that.

Long story shortened…I left there not knowing if I would hear from him again, though I wanted to. He did ask me out again and we ended up dating for quite a while. It finally came out in conversation…. When I offered to split the tab, he took that as a signal that “I wasn’t interested in him and that was my way of brushing him off”.


So, in that case… what was the best thing for me to do since I really did like this guy?

I don’t know, but I just did what came natural to me… Right or Wrong….I’ll stick with what I’m comfortable with at the moment.

[Topless]

You know drBill, I'm a SoCal gal, and I've always paid for everything. Well, I did let Oil Rig Dan (you know the one that got left out at the oils rigs and was spotted by a boy scout on a passing boat) buy me dinner one time after returning from a day of diving- and this was before his encounter with death at high sea.

I really hate the way you claim it is just SoCal or L.A. women- it is not the location, but the type you find yourself attracted to. Those type of woman are EVERYWHERE. And their attitudes are based on what society tells them anyways. Women are taught form little girls that if they are feminine and pretty that they will be taken care of- ah, fairy tales, Barbie dolls, beauty contests. Girls are STILL being taught that it is their looks (and their soul) that will support them- a man will marry them and take care of them, therefore they EXPECT a man to pay for everything.

But don't hate a good woman if she expects flowers and chocolates- that's the problem nowadays, those kind of women ruin it for the "normal" minded female that just likes a bit of romance now and then.

You shouldn't make us all sound so BAD!

I think DrBill is just frustrated that there are many women who don't have the same attitude towards dating that you do. He's had some wonderful women in his life and he's hoping to find another.

I agree with him that some women can be pretty materialistic -- some.

But so can some men. I know a few guys who are trophy hunting, guys who think that showing off the things they own will attract the perfect woman. In many cases they are correct. Flashing their money will attract women who are interested in money. Then they wonder why she runs off with somebody younger, richer, or hipper than they.

I don't get it.............. I ride around in my midlifecrisismobile, I've got my silk shirt open to my navel, my gold chains dangling, crusin for the hotties.............. and they just laugh at me.......... What am I doin wrong?

[finGrabber]

I don't get it.............. I ride around in my midlifecrisismobile, I've got my silk shirt open to my navel, my gold chains dangling, crusin for the hotties.............. and they just laugh at me.......... What am I doin wrong?

Clearly, you haven't driven down my street...cuz I might just jump on the hood of your midlifecrisismobile

and I'd only be laughing cuz I scared the carp out of you!!

[WreckWench]

and I'd only be laughing cuz I scared the carp out of you!!

A girl who looked like a *carp* would scare me too on the hood of my car...so would a guy for that matter!

[finGrabber]

and I'd only be laughing cuz I scared the carp out of you!!

A girl who looked like a *carp* would scare me too on the hood of my car...so would a guy for that matter!

Now Wenchie,

it's a play on words...crap...carp