73 replies to this topic

[Parrotman]

When a man ends up being friends with a woman it usually means that he is interested in having a sexual relationship with her, but she has no interest in having sex with him. The man accepts the friendship because he thinks as long as they keep in touch there's alyays hope that she'll wake up and realize that this nice guy really is the love of her life.



I disagree with the above statement. I have been married for 32 years and I have a lot of female friends that I have no interest in romantically, never have and never will. Some of my best friends are married women. I have one woman friend that I have known since before I met my wife. We are still very good friends, my wife and her are very good friends and I even set her up with one of my male friends at one point and they dated for a while.

I suppose it really depends on your own personal frame of mind.

Jim

[drbill]

Heck, my best gal friends (usually my dive buddies as well) talk to me about anything and everything. That includes their relationships... the good, the bad and the ugly. Last week I stayed with three of my female dive buddies as I wandered through southern California. Two had great things to say about their relationships, so they're batting 0.667! Yes, I'd like to be romantically involved with all three (although not necessary at once... hmmm). Heck, there are a LOT of women I'd like to be romantically involved with. However, the fact that they have SO's already does not mean they aren't also of interest in many other ways.

And of course we talked about diving, too.

Edited by drbill, 16 September 2007 - 11:08 PM.

[jextract]

Sometimes I think the last thing my wife wants is for a problem to be solved. Then she and her friends won't have anything to talk about. Men tend to get off on solving problems. Women tend to get off on sharing them.

2nd Post of the Year (along with Perrone's).

[Brinybay]

Heck, my best gal friends (usually my dive buddies as well) talk to me about anything and everything. That includes their relationships... the good, the bad and the ugly. Last week I stayed with three of my female dive buddies as I wandered through southern California. Two had great things to say about their relationships, so they're batting 0.667! Yes, I'd like to be romantically involved with all three (although not necessary at once... hmmm). Heck, there are a LOT of women I'd like to be romantically involved with. However, the fact that they have SO's already does not mean they aren't also of interest in many other ways.

And of course we talked about diving, too.

Yeah, but, what I'm complaining about is when they want to "share" INTIMATE details. When they start doing that, I want to plug my ears and say "LA LA LA LA LA" out loud!

[pir8]

Sometimes I think the last thing my wife wants is for a problem to be solved. Then she and her friends won't have anything to talk about. Men tend to get off on solving problems. Women tend to get off on sharing them.

2nd Post of the Year (along with Perrone's).

So is that the right or left post 2nd

[mantarraya]

Sometimes I think the last thing my wife wants is for a problem to be solved. Then she and her friends won't have anything to talk about. Men tend to get off on solving problems. Women tend to get off on sharing them.

2nd Post of the Year (along with Perrone's).

Hmmm. I might have to modify the statement from a woman's perspective....Men tend to get off on THINKING they have solved problems. Women tend to get off on sharing the problems that get created by men thinking they've solved problems.

Honestly, I don't see men as great solvers of problems in general at all!

Edited by mantarraya, 17 September 2007 - 03:43 PM.

[Brinybay]

Sometimes I think the last thing my wife wants is for a problem to be solved. Then she and her friends won't have anything to talk about. Men tend to get off on solving problems. Women tend to get off on sharing them.

2nd Post of the Year (along with Perrone's).

Hmmm. I might have to modify the statement from a woman's perspective....Men tend to get off on THINKING they have solved problems. Women tend to get off on sharing the problems that get created by men thinking they've solved problems.

Honestly, I don't see men as great solvers of problems in general at all!

Ok then, don't tell me your problems and I won't try to solve them. Deal?

[ScubaDrew]

Attractive gal pal turns to you when their guy treats them harshly. She unloads all the negative baggage on you for hours, you calm her down and she jumps back into bed with the jerk. Repeat every 3-4 weeks.

Not that this has ever happened to me, of course...

Oh God, I lived this for years. Literally from like 2001 until, well, just a few months ago. My best friends little sister, (who is like the little sister I never had, and honestly didn't want. I mean, can you imagine the horror of seeing my G.I.Joe men dating Barbie? Cobra and Destro being subjugated by the femi....sorry, where was I? Oh, yeah...)
She never had a positive thing to say about the guy, including that he had past girlfriends who took restraining orders out against him. I mean if it wasn't so pathetic it would have been funny. Just this past March I flew out to Colorado to help her pack all her stuff and drive back to NJ. A month later and she's on a plane back to Ft. Collins and making excuses. Finally I think she has seen the light, and she met a decent guy here and I think it is over.

After a bit I had stopped talking to her about her relationship problems. I felt like I was enabling her to stay there, that if she didn't have a place to vent she would actually leave. Didn't work, and I got sucked back in.

It is really a horrible thing to witness, and a classic showing of what Bubbleboy said. She wanted to talk about this guy, wanted to hear me tell her she had to get out. She heard all my arguments based on logic, common sense, using her words and stories only to build them. And her only rebuff? But I spent so much time with him that would be wasted if it doesn't work! Clearly she didin't want to solve this particular problem.

[ScubaDrew]

Ok, women are always saying they want male friends who treat them like just another person, w/o the sex/romance thing getting in the way.

Well, I've tried a few times, with some success, but here's one of my pet peeves. I'm your friend, but I'm not your GIRL-friend. I'm still a guy. I DO NOT want to hear about your past and present male partners problems/performance (or lack thereof) IN THE BEDROOM. There's nothing I can do about it, it's none of my business, and it makes me feel uncomfortable hearing it. Am I wrong in feeling that way? If so, then I'll stop having female friends because I don't want to hear that stuff and they always seem to want to "share" with me in that way.

Briny, I feel your pain. You know, the stereotype is the guys talking in the locker room, but you know what? Women are the absolute worst offenders! I mean I would NEVER talk about my gf, past or present, the way I have over heard women talking about their bf, husband, father of their children! I know not all women are like that, but I have honestly never had or over heard that kind of talk from men, and having been in the infantry so I have been around a rough crowd.

My only advice is to tell her that that type of gossip is dis-respectful, that you would never talk about your significant others past or present, and that you don't feel comfortable discussing someone else's love life.

There are a ton of bad guys out there, so the good guys need to stand out...

[mantarraya]

Ok then, don't tell me your problems and I won't try to solve them. Deal?

Deal!!!! BTW, I don't dump the types of details you object to on my male friends, so you'd be safe anyway.

[BubbleBoy]

Men tend to get off on solving problems. Women tend to get off on sharing them.

Hmmm. I might have to modify the statement from a woman's perspective....Men tend to get off on THINKING they have solved problems. Women tend to get off on sharing the problems that get created by men thinking they've solved problems.

Honestly, I don't see men as great solvers of problems in general at all!

Well, I didn't say we were good at it. I just said we get off on it more. How else can you explain lap car racing. We find the fastest way to drive in circles for 500 miles to end up right back where we started.

"It's not just anybody who can go nowhere faster than anybody"

Edited by BubbleBoy, 17 September 2007 - 08:35 PM.

[TraceMalin]

According to psychologists, while men and women are equally capable of solving problems, it is the thought process leading to the final solution that varies between men and women. For men, a problem is an opportunity to demonstrate their problem solving ability in a quick and efficient manner. Men see having the problem solved as the ultimate goal, and for men, the best solution is the one that is the quickest and most efficient. For women, a problem is an opportunity to work together to find a resolution. Women relish the chance to communicate about a problem and the act of working together to solve a problem is more important than actually solving the problem. Women feel better about problems if the process of problem solving draws relationships and friendships closer together.

Edited by TraceMalin, 17 September 2007 - 10:04 PM.

[MagDiver]

Hmmm. I might have to modify the statement from a woman's perspective....Men tend to get off on THINKING they have solved problems. Women tend to get off on sharing the problems that get created by men thinking they've solved problems.

Honestly, I don't see men as great solvers of problems in general at all!

What? You don't even give us credit for fire? And what about the wheel? I thought the wheel was brilliant!

[georoc01]

Hmmm. I might have to modify the statement from a woman's perspective....Men tend to get off on THINKING they have solved problems. Women tend to get off on sharing the problems that get created by men thinking they've solved problems.

Honestly, I don't see men as great solvers of problems in general at all!

What? You don't even give us credit for fire? And what about the wheel? I thought the wheel was brilliant!

And don't forget the internet, by Al Gore!

[mantarraya]

What? You don't even give us credit for fire? And what about the wheel? I thought the wheel was brilliant!

I think nature....MOTHER Nature....gets credit for fire - someone just happened to figure out how to keep it burning and use it....could be a man, could be not. This, from a woman who absolutely loves the movie "Quest for Fire" (it always, always makes me laugh).

I'll give you the wheel credit, however. That definitely seems like something a man would invent.

Edited by mantarraya, 18 September 2007 - 07:49 AM.