18 replies to this topic

[jholley309]

Okay, so there have been a million threads about the virtues vs. pitfalls of long distance relationships, where many good thoughts are shared and good points made. I'm sure most of those threads have enriched the lives of the SD community, and I think those kinds of things are what sets this board apart from others. I suspect that those discussions have resulted in a few of us taking a difficult situation and making it work. I love those threads; they are wonderful insights into what makes various SD members tick.

This isn't one of those threads.

Just for grins, how about a little roundup of stories. How far was your longest long-distance relationship? What did you like and what did you detest about it? How did it ultimately work out? For that matter, how many long distance relationships have you had anyway?

Whaddaya say, SDers? Tell me yours, and I'll tell you mine...

Cheers!

Jim

[cmt489]

According to Mapquest, 3023 miles - give or take... Now, the distance is zero

What I liked was getting to know each other so well since we talked so much.

What I disliked was the inability to see each other every day and that feeling of disappointment along with elation everytime we visited since we knew that the time was fleeting.

Given that we are now living together, it definitely seems to have worked!

I've had other LDRs in the past but not nearly as much distance nor as important of relationships.

[ScubaDrew]

Over 4000 miles, 6 hours time zone difference, and a completely different language.

I liked the aspect of really talking, and never taking each other for granted.

I didn't like the fact that I couldn't see her when I wanted or needed too. And I could barely help her when she needed somebody to lean on.

In the end it didn't work, but I don't think the distance had anything to do with that. There were too many issues in her life for her to deal with at that time, and things just kind of fell apart, like the week before I was scheduled with the embassy in order to get my resident visa.

It was a real rollercoaster of a year, it had some awesome highs, and some really low lows. I wouldn't do it again...unless I fall that deeply again...then all bets are off!

[georoc01]

Its funny how these work. The toughest long distance relationship was a distance of 200 miles 20 years ago. When you don't have a car, and getting together is very challenging, that the worst for me. Plus I was in college at the time and emotionally unprepared for what I was going through. I almost failed out of college because of it.

Nowadays 1000 miles was no big deal. Flights are cheap and can get together fairly regularly. Communications are much easier now with cell technology, email, online chat/instant messaging and text messaging.

[pmarie]

This made me stop and think...Half the length of Florida, lasted about 2 months, and I was not anywhere near serious about the relationship. I like having friends and most all of my relationships have started that way.

I liked not having someone in my armpit all of the time, but close enough where we can remedy the wanting to see each other, and as someone else stated, communication is so important when you are getting to know someone so we would spend a good deal of time really talking.

My co-workers think I'm crazy cause I will not date anyone in our town. For them anything that entails a 30 minute drive is a LDR!!!

pmarie

[shadragon]

Three years ago I met a lady on-line. She was in Victoria, BC and I was on the east cost 3527.91 miles away. I flew out to see her and we spent a great week together exploring the various B+B's on Vancouver Island.

Distance for me is not a factor. It is for a lot of folks though...

"Gee, you live at 3502 Main Street? Sorry, my cut off range for dating is 3500 Main..."

[jholley309]

Wow!

Well, as promised here's mine:

My longest LDR is around 5,500 miles via Great Circle route. It's obviously working out quite well since we're engaged, and just waiting on the immigration paperwork to get processed.

I've noticed most people have prominantly mentioned communications as one of the positive things. I couldn't agree more; even though my fiance speaks another language (she is fluent in English, which helps) and lives across an ocean and a continent, the level of communication in this relationship has surpassed anything I've ever experienced before. I had attempted a long distance relationship before, years before the ubiquitous availability of the Internet and its various realtime and near-realtime communications technologies, and I have to say things like e-mail and Skype have made things so much easier these days. Even a quick SMS message is inexpensive and nearly instantaneous, even across international borders.

The downside, as mentioned by others, is the lack of face-to-face contact. We have been blessed by being able to spend a fair amount of time together in spite of the distance, but it still wasn't nearly as much as we would have wanted under different circumstances. On the other hand, it has forced us to work on verbal and written communications skills, and I think that has been a good thing. I'd still like to snuggle once in a while, though..

So there you have it. Keep 'em coming, folks!

Cheers!

Jim

[drbill]

Living on "isolated" Catalina Island, a 22-mile boat ride from the mainland, almost any relationship could be considered long distance since I don't date on the island.

For about a year I had a "relationship" with an intelligent and accomplished woman diver from Tokyo. Although we'd never met face-to-face, we e-mailed quite frequently and talked on the phone occasionally. She wanted me to move to Tokyo and said she would move further out from the city so we could get a larger apartment even though she'd have to commute a longer distance.

Finally we met face-to-face and the magic was gone... on her part. No idea why. Heck, I'd showered and even used deodorant the day she arrived. Oh well.

Edited by drbill, 30 October 2007 - 08:02 AM.

[Mermaid Lady]

My current b/f is about 800 miles away. I am in Houston and he is in Atlanta. We were both in Houston for the first year and 1/2 of our relationship. Somehow we are still together. It's easy to get flights to Atlanta from Houston and vice versa. I am going up to see him this weekend.

[Walter]

My longest long distance relationship was 12 time zones and about 8,000 miles heading ENE or about 7,000 miles if you go over the north pole, which was never an option. It was love at first sight, we did not have a common language and were engaged in three days. We were apart for 6 months during which time we exchanged letters (one of her friends translated my letters to her and helped her write in English while teaching her to speak English), but due to the shortage of telephones in Siberia at the time, we only talked once in those 6 months. We were married for 6½ years and have two wonderful children who are now adults. We are still friends, she's a wonderful lady.

[scubagoddess]

My longest long distance relationship was 12 time zones and about 8,000 miles heading ENE or about 7,000 miles if you go over the north pole, which was never an option. It was love at first sight, we did not have a common language and were engaged in three days. We were apart for 6 months during which time we exchanged letters (one of her friends translated my letters to her and helped her write in English while teaching her to speak English), but due to the shortage of telephones in Siberia at the time, we only talked once in those 6 months. We were married for 6½ years and have two wonderful children who are now adults. We are still friends, she's a wonderful lady.

Now that's a great story Walter!

[shadragon]

For about a year I had a "relationship" with an intelligent and accomplished woman diver from Tokyo... ...Finally we met face-to-face and the magic was gone... on her part. No idea why. Heck, I'd showered and even used deodorant the day she arrived. Oh well.

Maybe she found one of these...

[mantarraya]

When I first went to grad school in Athens, GA, I kept a LD-relationship going for about a year with the guy I'd been seeing in Plano, TX. However, we never had any illusions that it would last - we knew eventually we'd each move on, and we did - no hard feelings.

I've been in a much shorter-distance LD-relationship for a little more than 1.5 yr- Galveston/DFW area, about 326 mi from his house to mine. He's the older brother of my niece's best friends, and my niece and her friends had been trying to get us to meet for years - we just never came to the same parties or events. We hit it off immediately, and much to both of our surprise, fell for each other.

We've kept connected by web-camming almost every night, email, etc. At first, we tried to see each other every 3 weeks, then it shortened to every 2 weeks, and now we see each other probably 3 out 4 weekends each month. He's in the process of finding a job in my area, and moving down to Galveston. I would have moved there if need be, but in the end, we figured that there were better reasons for him to move here than vice versa.

I'll be very glad when the longest distance we have to travel to see each other is the length of my hallway. However, the LD thing worked fine for us - definitely showed some level of interest and commitment to go to the lengths we've had to go to build the relationship.

[Walter]

Now that's a great story Walter!

Thanks Darlin'. It would be an even better story if we were still together. When I decided to dive Siberia, I thought the only thing I would bring home would be frost bite.

[WreckWench]

LDR's are great for helping people to REALLY get to know one another. Since you can not just 'hang out' or spend as much face time as you'd like you soon substitute discussion about all kinds of topics...many of a very serious nature. If you are a verbal person and can write well...this type of relationship will probably work for you in the long run...it literally allows you to get to the heart of important issues that you might not discuss otherwise...if ever.

I dated a guy for about 7 months LDR. The relationship was very solid and had lots of potential to go the distance but ultimately for a number of reasons it did not work out. However it was interesting that he told me knew more about me in 7 months than he did his ex-wife being married to her for 7 years. And if he had discussed even half the things that we had discussed he would have never gotten married to her.