18 replies to this topic

[Starfish Sandy]

Most of you know my thoughts on LDR's. I was in Texas and Dan in NY - girl math on the miles is probably a lot more in my mind than actual mileage. It was a 3 1/2 hour plane ride to and fro - throw in drive time to the airport - security - and delays - I'd say a normal 6-7 hour trip! Any relationship takes work - a LDR just takes a little more.

[mantarraya]

Any relationship takes work - a LDR just takes a little more.

Well, obviously you and your love worked it all out - giving all in LDRs great hope for a happy ending. You guys seem very happy.

[Jellyfishluv]

LDR's are great for helping people to REALLY get to know one another. Since you can not just 'hang out' or spend as much face time as you'd like you soon substitute discussion about all kinds of topics...many of a very serious nature. If you are a verbal person and can write well...this type of relationship will probably work for you in the long run...it literally allows you to get to the heart of important issues that you might not discuss otherwise...if ever.

I dated a guy for about 7 months LDR. The relationship was very solid and had lots of potential to go the distance but ultimately for a number of reasons it did not work out. However it was interesting that he told me knew more about me in 7 months than he did his ex-wife being married to her for 7 years. And if he had discussed even half the things that we he ad discussed he would have never gotten married to her.

Hmmm, this is a tough topic for me. I have tried to do the LDR thing with one or two men I met whilst traveling, but the communication via email and telephone was HORRIBLE! I can write, and a lot, about lots of issues that distress me, but unfortunately, the one man was not much of a computer literate person and when he did send emails they were very perverted. Face-to-face his desire for me did not seem so pervie, but the emails just reminded me of how little we had in common, and how unattractive his blue-collar intellect was to me. He was a very sweet guy and if we didn't have to be apart, it probably would have worked, but via email and phones calls reality soon set in and I realized I got involved with someone that did not stimulate my intellect, but my heart.

I encounter a very similar situation more recently only we never even made it to the emailing stage- his perversion over the phone and texts made me realize I made the wrong decision. Again, he was a very caring and sweet guy face-to-face, and funny too- oh well

oh, yeah writing about what distresses you is not the best way to create or sustain a LDR, but what was I suppose to do, suppress these unsettled feelings even deeper? If I can't share my valid thoughts with friends and potential life partners, WTH?

Edited by Jellyfishluv, 04 November 2007 - 11:59 AM.

[Sassi]

After following the thread for a ltitle while, I finally decided to add my two cents. I've met a lot of people during my travels. I honestly don't know how long the longest one was (in distance).

#1 There was this one guy I met while stationed in Dayton Ohio - he was stationed at Ft. Meade. We kept in touch for about a year or so (he was deployed a good portion of that to Afghanistan). He is now married to one of my friends (wouldn't you know I introduced them).

#2 I went on one date with this one guy and then about a month later was goint to be getting stationed overseas (I warned him ahead of time before I agreed to the date). After our date - he didn't want to have anything to do with me since I was going to be "going away". About a month after I left he sent an email and we kept in touch for almost 2 years (I even went to visit him on one of my trips back to the States). Shortly before I moved back to the States, he met someone else and is now married and living in California.

I will say with both of fthem, our communication was awesome. We talked about anything and everything. But in the thick of things, I truly think we were just better friends than anythint else and that is all it was meant to be.

Edited by Sassi, 04 November 2007 - 07:08 PM.