Jump to content

  • These forums are for "after booking" trip communications, socializing, and/or trip questions ONLY.
  • You will NOT be able to book a trip, buy add-ons, or manage your trip by logging in here. Please login HERE to do any of those things.

Photo

How to successfully encourage an SO to learn to dive?


  • Please log in to reply
48 replies to this topic

#31 lynnlchan

lynnlchan

    Everyone knows me

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 628 posts
  • Location:Minneapolis/St. Paul
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW, Drysuit, Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:175

Posted 18 September 2008 - 07:14 AM

Sometimes you just gotta decide what is MOST important to you. In my case I was in the same boat at Damselfish. But that is after trying out LOTS of relationships with non-divers only to have them complain every time I went on a trip and try to figure out which guy was I sleeping with etc. It got old for me quickly. :D Plus I could not share the things I love the most with them. :teeth:

However this is the exception and not the rule. Most people do need to contend with non-diving s/o's. I just hope that they enjoy the sport if you are passionate about it.



Maybe I'm way off (something new :D ) but it seems like diving is one part of the larger picture - having a love of adventure.

I love diving and will continue to dive with or without an SO. That's how I found SD (thank you)! I don't want to dump a really nice and thoughtful guy without giving him a chance to try diving. I suspect he'll love it, he has a love of adventure (and a kind heart).
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, we're drowning on dry land.
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, jump in and take my hand. --Gaelic Storm, Scalliwag

#32 damselfish

damselfish

    I spend too much time on line

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,055 posts
  • Location:Arizona
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW, Wreck, Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:125

Posted 18 September 2008 - 09:36 AM

I wish you luck with him. :teeth:
Does he have a single brother or friend that's just like him? That dives? (just kidding about the diving lol)
~ D :D
Ain't love a BEACH?

#33 Dive_Girl

Dive_Girl

    I need to get a life

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,513 posts
  • Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
  • Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 18 September 2008 - 01:59 PM

Sometimes you just gotta decide what is MOST important to you. In my case I was in the same boat at Damselfish. But that is after trying out LOTS of relationships with non-divers only to have them complain every time I went on a trip and try to figure out which guy was I sleeping with etc. It got old for me quickly. :D Plus I could not share the things I love the most with them. :D

I have found myself in similar situations, then add female dive pro and sheesh! :respect: I still keep an open mind, but I am certainly more fond of guys who are divers or at least have a passion for the water (fish and wildlife, outrigger, kayaker, and windsurfer guys for example). I know where my heart is! :teeth:
It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

#34 shadragon

shadragon

    Tech Admin

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 3,055 posts
  • Location:On De Island...
  • Gender:Male
  • Cert Level:MSD / DM / Solo
  • Logged Dives:534' ish

Posted 18 September 2008 - 04:24 PM

I have found myself in similar situations, then add female dive pro and sheesh! :teeth: I still keep an open mind, but I am certainly more fond of guys who are divers or at least have a passion for the water (fish and wildlife, outrigger, kayaker, and windsurfer guys for example). I know where my heart is! :D

Oops, sorry missed a few pages of the thread. Been too busy getting my canoe out of the water. Watched a moose wandering through a shallow ford, with a pair yearling deer with white spots in behind on a grassy meadow. Saw some trout and they almost bumped into my kayak, but I went wind-surfing to forget about the experience. Then I went and picked my tanks up after their annual viz. Now where were we...?
Remember, email is an inefficient communications forum. You may not read things the way it was intended. Give people the benefit of the doubt before firing back... Especially if it is ME...! ;)

Tech Support - The hard we do right away; the impossible takes us a little longer...

"I like ponies on no-stop diving. They convert "ARGH!! I'M GOING TO DIE" into a mere annoyance." ~Nigel Hewitt

#35 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:33 AM

WW, Damsel you women are tough :teeth:

tim



Yeah...but you love it! :birthday:

Besides I KNOW you are up for the job should you meet a 'tough' gal! :dancing:

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#36 mantarraya

mantarraya

    Everyone knows me

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 597 posts
  • Location:Galveston, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW / Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:>100

Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:43 AM

Promise your SO oral sex for every class hour attended (wonder if the moderators will censor this!).

Edited by mantarraya, 19 September 2008 - 07:43 AM.

Back after a long absence - whew, too busy at work!

#37 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:47 AM

Dunno though, I always get a little suspicious when they fit ALL the requirements :birthday:


I found one that does...but I think the trick was it took me a long time to realize it. It seems the ones that 'met all the requirements upfront were fakes'. Now I think the difference is that the fakes were TRYING to tell me how similar they were so I'd accept them where the real deal SHOWED me how similar we were and showed more important things such as values, morals. etc.

I also perfected getting my deal breakers out into the open sooner vs later so BOTH parties involved could make better decisions.

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#38 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 07:49 AM

Promise your SO oral sex for every class hour attended (wonder if the moderators will censor this!).



Sweetie...TALKING about sex is EXTREMELY SEXY & ORAL...and I would expect you to do that anyway! :birthday:

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#39 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 08:01 AM

Sometimes you just gotta decide what is MOST important to you. In my case I was in the same boat at Damselfish. But that is after trying out LOTS of relationships with non-divers only to have them complain every time I went on a trip and try to figure out which guy was I sleeping with etc. It got old for me quickly. :birthday: Plus I could not share the things I love the most with them. :teeth:

However this is the exception and not the rule. Most people do need to contend with non-diving s/o's. I just hope that they enjoy the sport if you are passionate about it.



Maybe I'm way off (something new :P ) but it seems like diving is one part of the larger picture - having a love of adventure.

I love diving and will continue to dive with or without an SO. That's how I found SD (thank you)! I don't want to dump a really nice and thoughtful guy without giving him a chance to try diving. I suspect he'll love it, he has a love of adventure (and a kind heart).



First off...may I say I'm THRILLED you found SingleDivers.com!

Secondly, you are right...diving is part of a bigger 'adventure' whole what with traveling to exotic places, taking our diving to new levels and experiences etc.

However I have met MANY adventure loving types who think diving is ok...good for once or twice a year but it interferes with ALL their other adventure loving pastimes. In my case I LOVE diving slightly more than the average gal and as a result have spent ALL my spare time pursuing this hobby. :P Therefore in my case it made more sense for my SO to be a diver...and better yet understand the industry! :dancing:

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#40 damselfish

damselfish

    I spend too much time on line

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,055 posts
  • Location:Arizona
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW, Wreck, Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:125

Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:05 AM

Well I've only been legally divorced 9 months so my list of "Must haves" and "Deal Breakers" are pretty long. I've already dropped one or two things. I guess the longer I'm single, slowly more will drop off until I'm down to Male, has morals, honest, has a heart beat and doesn't say "what about sharks" when I mention diving. :cheerleader: ~ B
Ain't love a BEACH?

#41 mantarraya

mantarraya

    Everyone knows me

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 597 posts
  • Location:Galveston, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW / Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:>100

Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:09 AM

Promise your SO oral sex for every class hour attended (wonder if the moderators will censor this!).



Sweetie...TALKING about sex is EXTREMELY SEXY & ORAL...and I would expect you to do that anyway! :cheerleader:


Goin' down for goin' down!
Back after a long absence - whew, too busy at work!

#42 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:18 AM

Well I've only been legally divorced 9 months so my list of "Must haves" and "Deal Breakers" are pretty long. I've already dropped one or two things. I guess the longer I'm single, slowly more will drop off until I'm down to Male, has morals, honest, has a heart beat and doesn't say "what about sharks" when I mention diving. :cheerleader: ~ B



Don't drop them TOO FAR...but you will distill them down further as YOU grow and heal from your past experiences! Things that you thought were important will no longer be and things you took lightly may become more important!

Just find out SOONER vs later if someone is compatible with your deal breakers. For example an easy one is kids...if you have them and they don't like them its easy to find that out. For me it was WANTING them and guys would say...you gotta be kidding. You have the perfect life and you want to ruin it by having kids. Or no thank you or 'been there done that'. All of this feedback enabled me to determine if someone was compatible in oh about 30 seconds on just my first deal breaker alone.

Guy: Hey you are cute, funny, interesting...blah blah blah. Fill in blanks for small talk that says I'm interested.
WW: Oh I'm sure we'd never be compatible said with a big smile and wink! (yes I have lead off with that line a million times)
Guy: Why?
WW: Well for starters I really want to have kids and most guys I meet either have them or don't want them.
Guy: Yep...I fall into those categories...I guess you are right we aren't compatible. Actually some guys would argue with me trying to convince me I really didn't want kids. Can you believe it?

End of pursuing any relationship with this person and I only invested 30 secs of my time. :cool1: Now repeat this process for all your IMPORTANT DEAL BREAKERS and you can quickly size up whether the vital basics are there and minimize the whole chemistry rules the situation scenarios!

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#43 lynnlchan

lynnlchan

    Everyone knows me

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • 628 posts
  • Location:Minneapolis/St. Paul
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW, Drysuit, Nitrox
  • Logged Dives:175

Posted 19 September 2008 - 09:57 AM

I have found myself in similar situations, then add female dive pro and sheesh! :cool1: I still keep an open mind, but I am certainly more fond of guys who are divers or at least have a passion for the water (fish and wildlife, outrigger, kayaker, and windsurfer guys for example). I know where my heart is! :cheerleader:

Oops, sorry missed a few pages of the thread. Been too busy getting my canoe out of the water. Watched a moose wandering through a shallow ford, with a pair yearling deer with white spots in behind on a grassy meadow. Saw some trout and they almost bumped into my kayak, but I went wind-surfing to forget about the experience. Then I went and picked my tanks up after their annual viz. Now where were we...?



That caused me to have a full all out belly laugh. You are too funny.
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, we're drowning on dry land.
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, jump in and take my hand. --Gaelic Storm, Scalliwag

#44 uwfan

uwfan

    I spend too much time on line

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,650 posts
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:Rescue
  • Logged Dives:200+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:12 AM

Well I've only been legally divorced 9 months so my list of "Must haves" and "Deal Breakers" are pretty long. I've already dropped one or two things. I guess the longer I'm single, slowly more will drop off until I'm down to Male, has morals, honest, has a heart beat and doesn't say "what about sharks" when I mention diving. :cheerleader: ~ B



Don't drop them TOO FAR...but you will distill them down further as YOU grow and heal from your past experiences! Things that you thought were important will no longer be and things you took lightly may become more important!

Just find out SOONER vs later if someone is compatible with your deal breakers. For example an easy one is kids...if you have them and they don't like them its easy to find that out. For me it was WANTING them and guys would say...you gotta be kidding. You have the perfect life and you want to ruin it by having kids. Or no thank you or 'been there done that'. All of this feedback enabled me to determine if someone was compatible in oh about 30 seconds on just my first deal breaker alone.

Guy: Hey you are cute, funny, interesting...blah blah blah. Fill in blanks for small talk that says I'm interested.
WW: Oh I'm sure we'd never be compatible said with a big smile and wink! (yes I have lead off with that line a million times)
Guy: Why?
WW: Well for starters I really want to have kids and most guys I meet either have them or don't want them.
Guy: Yep...I fall into those categories...I guess you are right we aren't compatible. Actually some guys would argue with me trying to convince me I really didn't want kids. Can you believe it?

End of pursuing any relationship with this person and I only invested 30 secs of my time. :cool1: Now repeat this process for all your IMPORTANT DEAL BREAKERS and you can quickly size up whether the vital basics are there and minimize the whole chemistry rules the situation scenarios!


Hmm....are you sure this isn't a dating site?? :taz: Invaluable info there! :taz:

#45 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,487 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 19 September 2008 - 10:17 AM

Hmm....are you sure this isn't a dating site?? :cheerleader: Invaluable info there! :taz:


Nope but many of us are in that mode so discussion about it is good. The reason SD is NOT a dating site is that MANY OF US ARE NOT in the dating mode and we don't want to be hit upon on a trip nor do we need the drama/issues etc that sometimes arise in the dating world. Some of our members are of course married and not appropriate and some are recently divorced so its too soon for them. Some have no desire to date and would never attend our trips if they thought everyone was just going to 'hook up'.

Now if you do meet someone special and it happens to be via this site...that is not my fault! :cool1:
And if you don't meet someone special in general nor on this site...then its DEFINITELY not my fault! :taz:

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users