16 replies to this topic

[WreckWench]

I just started a topic on whether married people can and should flirt HERE... but it occurred to me that flirting has a different connotation and probably different definition depending on what age group you belong too. So can you help us develop a primer for flirting based upon relative age groups? Meaning what does each age group do to flirt and what do they think about flirting... its a dying art, its a lost cause, its a waste of time, its fun and the new rage???

Thanks... this should be FUN and EDUCATIONAL too!!!


p.s. All opinions welcome and respected! Please share your thoughts!

[Parrotman]

I just started a topic on whether married people can and should flirt HERE... but it occurred to me that flirting has a different connotation and probably different definition depending on what age group you belong too. So can you help us develop a primer for flirting based upon relative age groups? Meaning what does each age group do to flirt and what do they think about flirting... its a dying art, its a lost cause, its a waste of time, its fun and the new rage???

Thanks... this should be FUN and EDUCATIONAL too!!!


p.s. All opinions welcome and respected! Please share your thoughts!

I seem to be in that age group where I attract a range of ages and types. Not that I get flirted with a lot but enough. There is a younger group ( well younger than me) that seems to be attracted to older guys with grey hair. This group is much more forward, making comments such as " I love a man with grey hair" I get a lot of comments on my beard from this group. Then there are the ones closer to my age but still younger and they are much more familiar, will sometimes touch and make more personal comments. Those that are of my age group will just be blatant.. "so are you married our what?" "Where is your wife? She lets you travel alone?" That sort of thing.

I can say that in my experience married women are way more flirty than single women regardless of age.

Jim

[georoc01]

What I found different nowadays, is how social networking plays a role. I find alot more flirting via texting than in person.

[uwfan]

Flirting... I really don't know what I'm doing... I just try to be nice. Although there was that one occasion... the fork was right next to my mouth... so what that it wasn't mine, it had cake on it... so I ATE IT! Was I flirting? Dunno.

[drbill]

A subject I apparently have no clue about. I can rarely tell when a woman is flirting with me unless she hits me over the head with a 2"x4"

I've been accused of excessive flirting when all I'm consciously trying to do is educate another diver about the taxonomy, phylogeny, ecology or behavior of a marine critter they just observed.

[duganalexzander]

A subject I apparently have no clue about. I can rarely tell when a woman is flirting with me unless she hits me over the head with a 2"x4"

Yeah.. I'll second this one. It can be hard to determine if someone is flirting or just being themselves.

And, from the younger generation's (under 22) stand point, we have no clear definition either.

For example, I have a lot of good female friends who I kiss on the top of the head (i'm 6', and well... they're not). We all know its not flirting, its just my general sign of affection for people i'm close to.

In another case, I've a friend (we're in the same dorm) who comes into my room to sit on my lap or lay on top of me so I can rub (or deep tissue massage) her back. At which point, she bitches about her day and updates me about her girlfriend and how they're coming along. This has been our dynamic for pretty much the past 8 months, and its entirely platonic (as was mutually agreed upon in the first few weeks).

The only thing i'm unsure about is how my new(ish) girlfriend [probably about a month] would feel if she knew about it. My friend came along well before my girlfriend did, and i'm not planning on changing any relationship dynamics because they're part of who I am. Honestly, for me, this wasn't an issue until my RA knocked on my door last week when I was giving a back massage to my friend. At which point, she and I realized that it could be construed by others as a bit suspect.

-Will

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

Will, it may be completely innocent/platonic, but trust me on this.....your new-ish girlfriend will still be jealous and upset if she hears about this from the RA instead of from you. We're just hard-wired that way....we'd rather hear this type of thing from our significant other!

[duganalexzander]

Will, it may be completely innocent/platonic, but trust me on this.....your new-ish girlfriend will still be jealous and upset if she hears about this from the RA instead of from you. We're just hard-wired that way....we'd rather hear this type of thing from our significant other!

Yeah... now that I think about it I would be too. Ok, i'll add one more awkward conversation to my list of things to do.

Thanks!

[WreckWench]

Will, it may be completely innocent/platonic, but trust me on this.....your new-ish girlfriend will still be jealous and upset if she hears about this from the RA instead of from you. We're just hard-wired that way....we'd rather hear this type of thing from our significant other!

Yeah... now that I think about it I would be too. Ok, i'll add one more awkward conversation to my list of things to do.

Thanks!

Hopefully she is as open minded as you are..and perhaps all 20 something year olds are more open minded in general so that may work for you.

But under no circumstances do you let her figure it out without you first broaching the subject of non-romantic female friends in your life and her non-romantic male friends in her life. Keep in mind that many of our members are older so we would not be comfortable with that knowledge for the most part but I know younger people have different ideas of what is ok and what is not.

Good luck...I'm sure others will chime in on how to best handle this.

[duganalexzander]

Will, it may be completely innocent/platonic, but trust me on this.....your new-ish girlfriend will still be jealous and upset if she hears about this from the RA instead of from you. We're just hard-wired that way....we'd rather hear this type of thing from our significant other!

Yeah... now that I think about it I would be too. Ok, i'll add one more awkward conversation to my list of things to do.

Thanks!

Hopefully she is as open minded as you are..and perhaps all 20 something year olds are more open minded in general so that may work for you.

But under no circumstances do you let her figure it out without you first broaching the subject of non-romantic female friends in your life and her non-romantic male friends in her life. Keep in mind that many of our members are older so we would not be comfortable with that knowledge for the most part but I know younger people have different ideas of what is ok and what is not.

Good luck...I'm sure others will chime in on how to best handle this.

She's pretty open minded, its one of the reasons I found her attractive.

I'll bring this up with my non-romantic friend as well, she'll have some good opinions on it.

Also, i'm not sure if this is as much a generational gap thing as an interpersonal understanding thing. If any of my friends were doing this, i'd consider it equally suspect.

Its just the nature of my relationship with my non-romantic friend. Its been the norm for so long, neither of us really considered how it would appear to everyone else. Does that make sense?

Finally, part of me wants to hide behind the "I'm a guy" defense, and point out that we sometimes miss the flashing neon signs of social cues that our female compatriots pick up on. Though...that may be a physicist thing instead of a guy thing. Regardless, didn't realize it was just a bad idea until now. Thanks again for....... reminding me to not be dense?

[WreckWench]

The beauty of men today is they will hide less and less behind the sterotypes...and THAT IS GOOD! That means your mother succeeded in raising her son to be more in tune with men and women... THAT IS GOOD!!!

Recognizing how this special platonic friendship could impact your current romantic interest and actually being proactive to manage through it... PRICELESS!!!

p.s. Glad to hear that some things are NOT generational after all. I'm getting just old enough that I'm not sure anymore! LOL!

[duganalexzander]

The beauty of men today is they will hide less and less behind the sterotypes...and THAT IS GOOD! That means your mother succeeded in raising her son to be more in tune with men and women... THAT IS GOOD!!!

Recognizing how this special platonic friendship could impact your current romantic interest and actually being proactive to manage through it... PRICELESS!!!

p.s. Glad to hear that some things are NOT generational after all. I'm getting just old enough that I'm not sure anymore! LOL!

Mon did a phenomenal job of raising me. I cook, clean, do laundry, iron, dust, make my bed every morning, take my shoes off at the door, AND have basic plumbing and construction skills. Dad makes fun of me, calling me the "Swiss Army Wife", but i've never seen him do the slightest bit of housework. 90% of the mess is his.

Honestly, I even have a touch of interior decorating ability, though it is not quite as developed. Anyone looking for a young, handsome, trophy husband?

[TXAggieDiver]

The beauty of men today is they will hide less and less behind the sterotypes...and THAT IS GOOD! That means your mother succeeded in raising her son to be more in tune with men and women... THAT IS GOOD!!!

Recognizing how this special platonic friendship could impact your current romantic interest and actually being proactive to manage through it... PRICELESS!!!

p.s. Glad to hear that some things are NOT generational after all. I'm getting just old enough that I'm not sure anymore! LOL!

Mon did a phenomenal job of raising me. I cook, clean, do laundry, iron, dust, make my bed every morning, take my shoes off at the door, AND have basic plumbing and construction skills. Dad makes fun of me, calling me the "Swiss Army Wife", but I've never seen him do the slightest bit of housework. 90% of the mess is his.

Honestly, I even have a touch of interior decorating ability, though it is not quite as developed. Anyone looking for a young, handsome, trophy husband?

Hilarious! I was just having the same conversation about cooking, cleaning, etc. with a male friend of mine that is all those things and is also very particular about the way he dresses. I referred to him one day as being a metro-sexual and he a fit, on caliber with a two-year-old tantrum. I'm not sure why it bothered him so much, I even educated him on the proper wikipedia definition (which he fit to a tee). He swears that women aren't attracted to him but are to metro-sexual men so he can't be one.

[duganalexzander]

HAHA! I had a similar experience last semester. One of the upperclassmen I had Tai Chi with came up to me in the late night cafe and said "Will, I gotta ask...Are you gay? or do you just like clothes?" My best friend blew a strawberry smoothie out his nose, which was priceless.

[Lloyd Christmas]

I just started a topic on whether married people can and should flirt HERE... but it occurred to me that flirting has a different connotation and probably different definition depending on what age group you belong too. So can you help us develop a primer for flirting based upon relative age groups? Meaning what does each age group do to flirt and what do they think about flirting... its a dying art, its a lost cause, its a waste of time, its fun and the new rage???

Thanks... this should be FUN and EDUCATIONAL too!!!


p.s. All opinions welcome and respected! Please share your thoughts!

When I flirt, I go to the local bowling alley in my town of 1,700 people and hang my keys on my beltloop...This way all the women know that I own a car and can take them to the Dairy Queen...if my ac works, it's a bonus. I date more in the cooler months to save myself the humiliation of forehead sweat.