16 replies to this topic

[ev780]

I have such a nasty streak!! I am so ashamed I had to do a little public confession.

25 years ago I met and fell in love with someone who left me to marry someone else. Absolutely the worst broken heart I have ever had before or since!! And I have had many!! Well, through the magic of Facebook we reconnected last night. Lo and behold the guy she left me for turned into a raging alcoholic and abandoned her and their kids. A second husband was not so great either!! She and the kids turned out fine, so all is well. But, I am smirking just a little and I really don't feel that bad about it. It was 25 years ago, we were young and there is no way of knowing "what if" or why fate did what she did, but I do feel a little vindicated. I know it is a little evil and a little bit wrong, but DAMN, some times its feels so good to be a little evil.

Anybody else ever have this happen?

[WreckWench]

Um... some people call that the classic proverb of "What goes around...comes around".

I too have pined over many situations that I was crushed passed me by only to find out later that some times the best prayers are the unanswered ones. Or the best things I did in life were NOT to walk thru a particular door despite wanting too.

So while you may feel a bit vindicated...and she probably would have been better off with you...how do you know you would have been better off with her? You should be thankful too that your lives were not entangled after all.

Just a different perspective... thanks for sharing! I just know this has happened to MANY people!

[shadragon]

It is called Schadenfreude and you are not the only one to experience it.

Seeing someone down after they cross you in some way is satisfying on some level. I know you are not alone.

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

It's just human nature to enjoy a little feeling of "ha! ha!". Been there. Doesn't make me bad or evil, though. Just small of me.

[WreckWench]

The definition you give is too generic...meaning someone who takes pleasure in the misfortune of others. I know Fred is NOT that kind of person otherwise he'd not be qualified for the job he does where he is surrounded by the misfortune of others all the time.

In this case he is ONLY happy that she was NOT better off without him as she expected she would be.

I see that as totally different as its not an ongoing state but rather a situational state.

More like Tammy said... being a bit small...a bit vindicated but not evil and not a bad person.

[ev780]

I do NOT wish ill on anyone. It was just a little vindication as someone posted. If she was doing poorly I would never have posted my comment. She is doing well and we are reconnecting.

I will talk your ear off about fate, and "all things happen for a reason" kind of stuff so I am not at all bitter. Who knows, I might have been the loser if I had taken a different path and ended up with her. I always said I was one or two bad decisions away from being at the freeway off ramp like Ted Williams. Although I do NOT have a golden voice. (Like the cross thread there?)

Just a little smirk and a flash of guilt for feeling it. Besides we were in our very early twenties and at that age what do you know. The first real broken heart is the one you remember the most.

[WreckWench]

Truth is I think we all have felt this way from time to time. My first boss turned out to be the biggest jerk in the world. He was CONSTANTLY riding his employees hard...but he seemed to ride/rag on me harder. So hard in fact that many felt he was abusive.

He was very smart and talented but short and it really bothered him. So whenever he was to have *a meeting* with me I always wore my strongest power suit with a bright red blouse and bright red high heels. I practically towered over him when I wore that outfit and the was the intent...to level the playing field more.

After awhile his *mentor* could no longer protect him and he finally had too many HR issues to remained employed with a big name company like GE. When he was FINALLY bagged and tagged for sexual harrassment...I took an EXTREME amount of pleasure in seeing *justice* done.

He treated me poorly and he got what he deserved or at least what he sowed.

In Fred's case his ex treated him poorly and got what she sowed. No difference...not bad...just a momentary moment of recognition and perhaps a bit of a *smirk*.

In my case...there was no feeling of guilt... in my case my ex-boss deserved what he got.

[drbill]

I guess I'm pretty fortunate. The few who left me are not of any concern (except the mother of my son, and she only because of that). The rest parted as friends (most were friends to begin with) and I have pleasant thoughts associated with them and see most on occasion.

However, I can certainly understand such feelings and think it is only human to have them. Not evil, human.

[Hipshot]

Always remember that living well is the best revenge.

Rick

[ScubaSis]

No you are not evil. The hardest part is the forgiving and I'm sure you did that at one point after the heartbreak eased. We all have someone that we never forget. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find out what happened to that person. With FB it happens a lot more frequently now. As for the worst heartbreak in my life...I do not wish him ill. I don't hate him but I don't have any use for him either!! Ha!! Would I feel a little "smirk" if I heard things were going badly for him...YES I would!! I also think it's sad when you see people take the wrong road. I took many of them myself and I turned out okay!! I think we all have to go through certain things in life to create the person God wants us to be. Proud of my mistakes?? No Way!! Proud of who I have become?? You Bet!!

Hopefully you can enjoy the new found friendship that as adults and through lifes struggles has brought you to NOW!!

[WreckWench]

Always remember that living well is the best revenge.

Rick

WELL SAID!!!

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

Proud of my mistakes?? No Way!! Proud of who I have become?? You Bet!!

I like this!

[WreckWench]

Also well said ScubaSis and DrBill!

[lynnlchan]

Living well IS the best revenge. Being happy without that person... I wake up every day thankful for my life and the people in it. I don't wish bad luck on anyone. I might wish that they'd go away and leave me in peace, I might even snap and say something mean. I don't wish bad things for them. Finding out about someone who suffered as a direct result of their own unkind actions enforces my belief in karma.

[scrappykidz]

Always remember that living well is the best revenge.

Rick

hehehe... I thought about sending my ex a postcard during my month in Costa Rica... thought about it for a second and settled on having another beer instead...

...then got busy trying to find karma offsets for my own past...

Edited by scrappykidz, 19 January 2011 - 03:35 PM.