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Semper Fi!


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#1 WreckWench

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 08:03 PM

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.
Date: 2010-09-27, 1:43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.
First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason..my girlfriend was happy that I just returned safely from my 2nd tour as a Combat Marine in Afghanistan.. She had just bought me that Kimber Custom Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!
I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].
After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 153 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]
I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car.
Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.
The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).
In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky. Have a good day!
Thoughtfully yours, Semper Fi,

Alex

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#2 peterbj7

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 08:17 PM

Reminds me of this one, recently sent to me by a friend:-

*Orville Smith, a store manager for Best Buy in Augusta, Georgia, told police he observed a male customer, later identified as Tyrone Jackson of Augusta, on surveillance cameras putting a laptop computer under his jacket... When confronted the man became irate, knocked down an employee, drew a knife and ran for the door.*
*Outside on the sidewalk were four Marines collecting toys for the "Toys for Tots" program. Smith said the Marines stopped the man, but he stabbed one of the Marines, Cpl. Phillip Duggan, in the back; the injury did not appear to be severe.*
*After Police and an ambulance arrived at the scene Cpl. Duggan was transported for treatment.
The subject was also transported to the local hospital with two broken arms, a broken ankle, a broken leg, several missing teeth, possible broken ribs, multiple contusions, assorted lacerations, a broken nose and a broken jaw... Injuries he sustained when he slipped and fell off of the curb after stabbing the Marine.*


I should add that this is an actual police report.

Edited by peterbj7, 03 April 2011 - 08:18 PM.


#3 WreckWench

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 08:25 PM

Gotta :wub: a Marine! :respect:

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#4 Cajun Diver

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 09:38 PM

A good story and one many of us wish were true but turns out to be a work of fiction: http://www.snopes.co...tice/mugger.asp

The second one is partially true with the last paragraph added to the ap story: http://www.snopes.co...abbedmarine.asp

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#5 duganalexzander

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Posted 03 April 2011 - 10:11 PM

I just want it known how awesome and incredibly funny these stories are.

#6 WreckWench

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 08:05 AM

A good story and one many of us wish were true but turns out to be a work of fiction: http://www.snopes.co...tice/mugger.asp

The second one is partially true with the last paragraph added to the ap story: http://www.snopes.co...abbedmarine.asp



Snopes lost a lot of credibility when it was discovered that many of the claims they have approved or denied...were in fact false.

So even if this story is not true...it is certainly entertaining and a good read none the less.

And a great idea for some enterprising Marine or other! :usflag:

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"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
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#7 Landlocked Dive Nut

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 09:26 AM

And a great idea for some enterprising Marine or other! :usflag:


I don't know.....the Marine was performing illegal acts as well, in the first story. And, though I can smile a bit when reading it (who doesn't like a good revenge story?), I cannot condone the practice of foiling crime with even more acts of crime.

True or not, it's not the kind of lesson I want my grandson to learn, and I really don't want our military heroes becoming vigilantes.
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#8 WreckWench

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 09:43 AM

Well said but some of it was entirely self defense! ;)

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#9 duganalexzander

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 04:00 PM

In the first story, I believe the marine was justified in taking the would be muggers shoes, phone, knife, and wallet.

Clearly the mugger was a threat to others, so not having a knife made him safer. Taking his phone so he couldn't call his friends to come help mug the marine was also a smart move. My parents worked in an ER in Baltimore for a number of years, and people came in all beat up after escaping the first mugging only to get mugged by the larger group later. Additionally, calling the muggers 'mommy' was an excellent idea, because she will most certainly have something to say about this. Taking his shoes prevented him from moving rapidly one way or another, thus rendering him less of a threat to the general population. As for taking his wallet, I'd have turned it into the police and filed a report with them.

Though illegal, I do approve of giving his cash to charity, and gassing up some cars on his credit card. Its an idiot tax.

Making threatening calls to the DA and FBI... thats going to far.

#10 Cajun Diver

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 07:37 PM

Snopes lost a lot of credibility when it was discovered that many of the claims they have approved or denied...were in fact false.

So even if this story is not true...it is certainly entertaining and a good read none the less.
And a great idea for some enterprising Marine or other! :usflag:

I hadn't heard that about snopes and doing some searching doesn't turn anything up that is credible that I see.

Yes the story is entertaining although if someone were trying to mug me and my girlfriend with a knife and I had a gun that would be the end of his story...:teeth:

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Posted 04 April 2011 - 07:46 PM

Its fun to read but I have to agree with Tammy on this one. Taking the pants and cell phone would be ok he stopped there. The rest is just being a punk though and wouldn't make the Marines look particularly good. Not to mention the fact that his bragging about carrying a concealed weapon and performing numerous felonies including making false reports and threats gainst the president WOULD get him court martailed... and for good reason. You can bet the base commander would ferret him out also if this was true. They don't like bad press.

USMC is an admirable organization that knows how to follow orders. I have no doubt the mugger might his butt kicked but he would probably stop at that.

Fun to read though.

#12 lynnlchan

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 07:33 AM

Not everything is a life lesson. Both stories made me laugh and that's enough.
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Come on and wade way out into the water with me, jump in and take my hand. --Gaelic Storm, Scalliwag

#13 shadragon

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Posted 05 April 2011 - 07:54 AM

The story that tickled my funny bone were the guys who tried to rob a cop bar.
Remember, email is an inefficient communications forum. You may not read things the way it was intended. Give people the benefit of the doubt before firing back... Especially if it is ME...! ;)

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