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I'm really upset


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9 replies to this topic

#1 grim reefer

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 04:02 AM

I've been debating whether to write this since you are all still strangers here but since this site was specifically mentioned I have decided that it is the right thing to do.

It just came to my attention that a member on another scuba site has been spreading false information about me. Among her claims are that I am married but representing myself as single trying to get dates on this site, that I have at least 15 other IDs on other sites, have mulltiple personalty disorder, etc.

My profile here has full disclosure- separated but still married and buddiless. I checked the box that I am interested in dive buddies only. It has been this way from when I joined as I am sure Kamala could verify. I don't have multiple personality disorder and I don't have 15 different user names. I am really upset that she did this and while we had a run-in about 2 years ago I don't fully understand why she did it.

I am still grieving the loss of my marriage and I am not interested in dates. Period. For the foreseeable future I just want to dive.

I just wanted to set the record straight about these malicious lies.
The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of forever - Jacques Cousteau

#2 WreckWench

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 06:34 AM

Joe crap like that is so 2011! So is assuming that everyone on a site that caters to people who do not have buddies...all are only looking to hook up. So is everything else we are sick of and need/want to change.

I am sorry for your loss of your marriage but as you say...you accurately disclosed your status. And while we are all strangers a number of the people who have chatted with you via posts are married...happily so. And while we have a tremendous amount of single aka not married members...our premise was to avoid single supplements and find dive buddies. See when you used to get certified they asked who on a boat was a 'single' aka did not have a buddy. It had NOTHING to do with your marital status. Just as in golf or riding a ski lift...single has nothing to do with your marital status but rather your activity status.

So now that we've cleared up our ambiguity about who we are...and you have been forthcoming with who you are accurately since you joined the site...you've no problems here. You do however have a safe place to vent and I'm sure many of us can relate to the situation you are in both in losing a marriage and then having people tell lies about us.

I wish I knew why this gal on another site is telling lies about you. Perhaps she does not understand what SingleDivers is? She'd be in the majority as sadly most people think we are a dating site. And while we do ask the question about dating or diving...that was for inclusion into a diving and dating search function we've never implemented. However it also declares intent. Sadly she would not know that as only premier members can see that part of your profile. When we first started people would come to the site and pm/contact/hassle all our members preying on them...especially the women. So we required you put some skin in the game and become a premier member in order to see member profiles and contact members. This made our community 100% safer than it had ever been and I would guess any other site that does not do the same. However, it also means that people like this girl can not see your profile details and therefore can speculate as much as she likes.

Maybe she will see this post...or you'll be able to reply back to her in such a manner that enables her to see her misunderstanding...or perhaps you'll realize that people who tell lies about others are not only misinformed but also hurtful and will only sow seeds that will come back later against them.

So thank you for sharing with us. I'm very sorry this has happened to you but life sadly is full of crap like this and at least now everyone knows the truth here. But the truth will set you free so try to ignore the other or try to set the record straight and then ignore it and let's make that 2011 crap and we'll put our energy into making 2012 a much better year. :respect:

p.s. I used to live in Raleigh off of Six Forks and I worked in RTP. I knew Cary well as a number of my friends lived there. However I spent all my diving time in Morehead City or at Fantasy Lake where I got certified.

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
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#3 grim reefer

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 08:00 AM

Thank you for the very kind response.
The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of forever - Jacques Cousteau

#4 Landlocked Dive Nut

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 09:45 AM

I joined SingleDivers.com when my 20 year marriage started to fail, too. I was a married-but-buddyless member for about a year and a half, when the divorce became final. This community was very supportive, even giving me pointers on how to cope with things as they crumbled. My ex had been my ONLY dive buddy, and as I had fallen in love with diving I needed a safe way to continue doing it. This site provided me with safe travel & excellent dive buddies....who are now very good friends who continue to support me in many ways.

It's unfortunate that there are mean people in the world....those who are apparently dissatisfied with their own life and love to stir up controversy just for their own amusement - or for spite. You can spin your wheels to try to combat the slander, or you can concentrate on more important issues you're currently grappling with.

Don't let mean people drain you of your energy, or let them drag you down to their level.

I wish you the best of luck.
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#5 little mermaid

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 04:23 PM

Joe, I too started diving with Singledivers when my dive buddy "had to go find himself" Luckily you will find out that most of the divers on this site are all about diving and friendships. You will meet a lot of really great people. I hope your have a great start to your New Year.

#6 Parrotman

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 06:42 PM

Joe, I am a married but buddiless diver. My wife does not want anything to do with diving. I have been a member on Singledivers.com for several years now and most of the people that I know are fully educated on what this site is all about. My wife even gets a kick out of some of the SD t shirts. Nobody on Singledivers is judgmental one way or another and they are all great people.
Even a lot of my facebook friends that are non divers know who my Singlediver.com friends are now. Used to be that one of my wifes friends would see a woman on my facebook page that was a "friend" and she would call my wife and ask who is this or who is that .. Lol! Not any more.

It's too bad that some people have to be mean and ugly but that is life. Just have fun diving and don't let life get in the way..

Jim
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#7 Capn Jack

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Posted 01 January 2012 - 11:34 PM

Sorry about your experience - you won't get that stuff here.

Dive more, worry less. The internet is overloaded with bullies and mean-spirited people who hide behind their keyboard. Try to put it behind you.
No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
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#8 grim reefer

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Posted 03 January 2012 - 07:41 PM

Thanks for the encouragement, everyone.


I just checked and found that the offensive thread had been taken down by the admins. Yay, admins!

-------------------------------------

Worry less, dive more! What fantastic advice!

I just back from my best cave diving trip ever. I explored a lot of new areas, made some new cave buddies, and happened to be in the Beetle Tunnel at Ginnie Springs when the calendar flipped.


So, yes, it's a great start to the year!.

-Joe


PS. It was nice running into Kate P at one of the dive shops. I hope she did well with the skills she was working on.

Edited by grim reefer, 04 January 2012 - 04:55 PM.

The sea, once it casts its spell, holds one in its net of forever - Jacques Cousteau

#9 WreckWench

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 08:56 AM

Ok 'nuff said on the ex-now-not-so-friendly-friend. Flames like these can keep erupting if you don't just douse them with a big bucket of cold water and nothing works better than the "big ole bucket of frigid ignore 'em and they will go away cuz they are getting no attention water' trick. As I said...all of that is so 2011.

As Mark says... Worry Less and Dive More!!! THAT IS SO 2012!!!

Glad you ran into KateP...she's been a lot of trips with us and always active on the site. She also lives fairly close to me so attends local Happy Hours which we'll have to do soon in the ATL/SC area!

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#10 lv2dive70

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Posted 04 January 2012 - 05:03 PM

Ok 'nuff said on the ex-now-not-so-friendly-friend. Flames like these can keep erupting if you don't just douse them with a big bucket of cold water and nothing works better than the "big ole bucket of frigid ignore 'em and they will go away cuz they are getting no attention water' trick. As I said...all of that is so 2011.

As Mark says... Worry Less and Dive More!!! THAT IS SO 2012!!!

Glad you ran into KateP...she's been a lot of trips with us and always active on the site. She also lives fairly close to me so attends local Happy Hours which we'll have to do soon in the ATL/SC area!


Yes a HH would be fun - planned far in advance this time - so that people including WW, and me, can make it! :teeth: . If some organized soul (hint, hint) posted a new thread in the appropriate location, I'd be happy to get in touch with Christine, Sue, Jim, Matt, Mark, Beth, Vazz, LiAn, Brad, Tammy, Clint and anyone else local (or local-ish) I can think of, and point them towards it! I'm not planning it though, no time!

(and yes some of those names are definitely local-ISH but what the heck, a gal can try!)
How inappropriate to call this planet Earth when it is quite clearly Ocean. -- Arthur C. Clarke




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