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What bugs you about being single?


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#1 ScubaSis

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Posted 28 May 2012 - 05:58 PM

Does it bug you when people try to FIX you up?

Does it bug you when people ask "When are you getting married?"

Does it bug you when people ask "Don't you get lonely?"

Does it bug you when people say "You need a man/woman in your life"


Why does everyone want to "fix" us??

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#2 libra89

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Posted 29 May 2012 - 12:46 PM

Does it bug you when people try to FIX you up?

Does it bug you when people ask "When are you getting married?"

Does it bug you when people ask "Don't you get lonely?"

Does it bug you when people say "You need a man/woman in your life"


Why does everyone want to "fix" us??


No to the first one....help a girl out please! But don't set me up with a lost cause, or a loser, or someone you know that's single just because we're both single :)

Second one...well do you have a crystal ball? If you do, then you probably know, but I sure as hell don't. That's how I feel like answering. You already know I'm single....why ask a question like that?

I rarely get asked if I get lonely, because most people who know me well enough to care about my relationship status know I'm busy all the time, with a huge group of friends divided up into various circles, and I rather also appreciate my "alone" time. But in case anyone else is wondering....I don't feel lonely, but once in a while I really do wish I had someone to share some of my hobbies and interests with!

On the last one.....that is also something I hardly ever hear. Maybe because I'm very independent and for me, it's really not about what I need. It's more about what I would like to have, and again those that know me well enough to care know this too :)

The way I see it is that the ones that don't know the answers to these already are probably just trying to figure out what your deal is! I think once you get to a certain age, and remain single (in my case anyway, never been married), they start to wonder why. That's what I think they are really getting at. I think people are just curious. I do get asked if I've ever been married, and when I say no, inevitably comes "Why not?". And my simple answer is always "I haven't met the right man yet. I'm still looking." That usually puts an end to it :)
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#3 ScubaPunk

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Posted 29 May 2012 - 04:51 PM

Nothing bugs me about being single. All the :cool1: people are! At a certain point people gave up on fixing me up and/or fixing me. People who know me well, and especially my family are hoping and praying that I never get married again. (It never ends well.) The best relationships are the ones where you don't need either a man or woman, but rather want the companionship of the other and both have something to offer to enrich each other's life.


Edited by ScubaPunk, 29 May 2012 - 04:52 PM.

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#4 ScubaSis

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Posted 29 May 2012 - 06:33 PM

I have to say fix ups are the worst!! Those have never gone well for me, but I think I got everyone to STOP IT! :lmao: What surprises me most is that the description starts off pretty good and then ends with...."He's not working right now...etc,etc.." "He takes care of his mother". Don't get me wrong....I know some people do, but in these cases it's just a cover for Her taking care of Him! PUULEAZE!! :-D

The rest of the questions don't really bug me much. Most of the time it's people that are just curious about me. Male co-workers that I know actually respect me. They can't imagine why I'm single. How I could prefer to be that way. They don't know where I've been or what I've been through. That's my business and I don't care to air my laundry at work. :cool2:

My close friends and family know I'm happy! :D If I'm meant to be with someone again, it will happen in it's own time, without any help from the peanut gallery!! :teeth:
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#5 drbill

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Posted 12 June 2012 - 09:52 AM

At my age, not much "bugs" me about being single. Sure, I'd like a nice relationship with a wonderful woman who dives, but if it doesn't happen I'm still pretty content with my life.

#6 Sharklover

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 10:17 AM

Not a thing really. It's a good and full and freely lived life. One that I would welcome the right person into, but am thankful that the wrong person isn't in it.

Very occasionally, I think that it would be nice to have company when tackling the tough times in life, but I have found that for the most part, I do, the company of my family of choice.

I will admit though, that it would be nice to not have all of the balls all of the time, to have someone to whom I could throw one, and of course, catch one back. Though at this point I have become quite the good juggler.

And those pesky back dress zippers, yeah, it would be great to have someone around then.
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it's always ourselves we find in the sea....ee cummings

#7 ScubaSis

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 11:05 AM

Very occasionally, I think that it would be nice to have company when tackling the tough times in life



I can agree on this one! Most of the time I can do everything myself. The only time I get frustrated is when something comes up that I just can't manage on my own physical strength. Then I have to call a neighbor or brother in law...I hate asking for help!! :taz:

I don't have really any drama in my life, so mentally if I need a shoulder I just call a friend! LOL Thank goodness for my friends! :D
Handle every stresssful situation like a dog.
If you can't eat it or play with it,
Just pee on it and walk away.

#8 Sharklover

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Posted 13 June 2012 - 12:01 PM

Very occasionally, I think that it would be nice to have company when tackling the tough times in life



I can agree on this one! Most of the time I can do everything myself. The only time I get frustrated is when something comes up that I just can't manage on my own physical strength. Then I have to call a neighbor or brother in law...I hate asking for help!! :taz:

I don't have really any drama in my life, so mentally if I need a shoulder I just call a friend! LOL Thank goodness for my friends! :D


Oh, I don't mind asking for that sort of help. And I am way stronger than I look (thanks to my sadist trainer) anyway. I was more referring to the fact that at the end of the day, all problems in my life/household are fully mine to solve, there is no division of labor,I am it. But as for those times which nearly break us, I am blessed with many close friendships, and they are the sorts that show up when life is in the pit. So I do not ever have to weather that sort of thing alone.

Though the friend who helped me wash my hair and prepared my meals when I could not is moving to Brussels next week. Tonight, we are opening a bottle of vintage Dom Perignon while sitting amongst her moving boxes.
For whatever we lose (like a you or a me), it's always ourselves we find in the sea....ee cummings

#9 Gini

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Posted 16 June 2012 - 10:46 AM

I love absolutely everything about being single. None of those things bug me in the least. I am lucky enough to have a fantastic support system of close friends and family to help me out when I need emotional support.

I think a lot of my married friends wish they lived my life.
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#10 dive_sail_etc

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Posted 17 June 2012 - 10:03 AM

For what it's worth, as a career bachelor (less two frenetic and ultimately frantic years in the 80's) I have been more or less content with the single life. I am Blessed with a great circle of friends (not least are the many I have established and strengthened HERE!) :diver: and past the point of encountering pangs of guilt at missing out on fatherhood...

...okay, maybe once in a while when I see families playing and enjoying life with each other I feel a little twinge. :tears: But a quick trip to the local supermarket checkout line usually brings me back to bratty, screaming reality. :cool2:

Er... I was referring to bratty kids and screaming moms, not... me... oh, forget it! :bam:

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#11 Buzo Guero

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Posted 20 July 2012 - 04:02 PM

NOTHING!!! I've worked long & hard to get here & I am RELISHING IT!!!!

CHEERS!!!

:lmao:

#12 drbill

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 10:07 AM

One thing that USED to bug me about being single was that so many would continue to ask "When are you going to get married?" I think my parents gave up on this well before they died... at least I gave them a grandson (and Mom a great-granddaughter). I would smile when a friend or acquaintance would ask this question shortly after they talked about their marital problems. I guess misery loves company.

Of course I'd still consider marriage.... but not for procreation. Been there, done that. As I "mature" (fat chance), the idea of company is a pleasant one.. as long as she dives as much as I do.

#13 Divegirl412

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 02:06 PM

Does it bug you when people try to FIX you up?

Actually, no. But I have no problem vetoing any suggestions. And it rarely happens because most of my friends know the kind of life I lead, and they know very few single men that they would consider "OK" to fix me up with.



Does it bug you when people ask "When are you getting married?"

Does it bug you when people ask "Don't you get lonely?"

Does it bug you when people say "You need a man/woman in your life"

Why does everyone want to "fix" us??

For the remaining 4 questions, I just really never get them from any of my friends or family.....maybe because I have already been married? Maybe because they see my full and fulfilled life and constantly comment that "they wish they were me"? Maybe because my friends know better? :D . And definitely, no one is trying to "fix" me.

The main things that "bug" me about being single are
1. the lack of trusted, caring companionship of someone I can actually plan my fun things with.. short and longterm. I can usually grab a friend, family member or more to plan something with, and if not, I go on my own. But I can't deny that certain things would be more special shared with a loving partner.

and 2. It does make your life a lot busier when you are tackling all of life's chores by yourself...with no sharing with a partner or kids.


#14 TCdamsel

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 05:07 PM

The main things that "bug" me about being single are
1. the lack of trusted, caring companionship of someone I can actually plan my fun things with.. short and longterm. I can usually grab a friend, family member or more to plan something with, and if not, I go on my own. But I can't deny that certain things would be more special shared with a loving partner.

and 2. It does make your life a lot busier when you are tackling all of life's chores by yourself...with no sharing with a partner or kids.[/color]


I share Rosa's take on this. Especially #2. As a single mom, it's a huge responsibility to take care of a child, household, etc. with no one to share the load. I know there are other single parents on the site, so they know what I'm talking about.

One issue I face is that I don't want to expose my kid to a man I don't know well, or someone I'm not sure I have a future with. I don't want to get seriously involved with anyone until my son is out of the house. I've seen too many single moms who can't handle being alone subject their children to one boyfriend after another. Divorce is hard enough for kids. Anyway, I'm content and independent and am dedicated the things that are important to me.

Here are some other things I've noticed:

Men my age generally want women much younger.

Traveling is always interesting. When I fly business, men will sometimes push me out of the way when it is time to board, because they assume I couldn't possibly be flying business.

And it's difficult fitting into some social circles, where being married is the norm, such as at my son's school. The women tend to be stand-offish, and making friends is difficult.

Hope this doesn't sound too negative. Thanks for the topic!
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#15 Divegirl412

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Posted 28 July 2012 - 08:05 PM



The main things that "bug" me about being single are
1. the lack of trusted, caring companionship of someone I can actually plan my fun things with.. short and longterm. I can usually grab a friend, family member or more to plan something with, and if not, I go on my own. But I can't deny that certain things would be more special shared with a loving partner.

and 2. It does make your life a lot busier when you are tackling all of life's chores by yourself...with no sharing with a partner or kids.[/color]


I share Rosa's take on this. Especially #2. As a single mom, it's a huge responsibility to take care of a child, household, etc. with no one to share the load. I know there are other single parents on the site, so they know what I'm talking about.

One issue I face is that I don't want to expose my kid to a man I don't know well, or someone I'm not sure I have a future with. I don't want to get seriously involved with anyone until my son is out of the house. I've seen too many single moms who can't handle being alone subject their children to one boyfriend after another. Divorce is hard enough for kids. Anyway, I'm content and independent and am dedicated the things that are important to me.

Here are some other things I've noticed:

Men my age generally want women much younger.

Traveling is always interesting. When I fly business, men will sometimes push me out of the way when it is time to board, because they assume I couldn't possibly be flying business.

And it's difficult fitting into some social circles, where being married is the norm, such as at my son's school. The women tend to be stand-offish, and making friends is difficult.

Hope this doesn't sound too negative. Thanks for the topic!



" Men my age generally want women much younger. "......Yep, I've noticed that. And then I listen to them moan and groan about how they share very little in common AND are expected to play "sugar daddy". Hmmmm... go figure.

"Traveling is always interesting. When I fly business, men will sometimes push me out of the way when it is time to board, because they assume I couldn't possibly be flying business.".........Have had that happen too, more frequently than not... I have three strikes that make it an impossibility that I could be flying business LOL!!! Love it when you are standing in line waiting and they walk up and stand right in front of you.




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