221 replies to this topic

[scubahoney]

I want to know, how often do you ladies date? How about you guys?

[drbill]

Date? I usually eat figs.

Oh, you mean take a woman out. I can't remember. My last date must have been more than a year ago. I don't really "date" because there are few (or no) single women here on the island that really interest me. I have a lot of female friends from the mainland who I regularly associate with (as well as male), but most of them are also attached.

I'm not really one to just ask a woman out on a date. I prefer to get to know them through an activity where we have time to get to know one another first. Dates can be awkward, experiencing something we both enjoy is much less so (for example, diving).

Most of the women I've dated, I've known for a while beforehand. We were attracted to one another because of shared interests and mutual respect. The other "realms of attraction" evolved out of that. I think for this reason my lovers were always good friends too, and most of them are still in touch and friends now. I like it that way.

I know that sounds like some BS date site bio, but it is the truth... so help me Neptune (or Poseidon if you prefer)!

Dr. Bill

[Diverbrian]

Let's see...

How pathetic can this be?.... Saturday night around midnight and I am on a message board typing posts. That should say something, LOL.

Seriously, my last date was back in January. I don't date often anymore as I simply don't have the time and most of the "good ones" are spoken for. I went through a stretch last year where I had like four dates in five nights, but that is rare and I actually hated it. I am just not the world's best "dating man" and get too nervous. I much prefer being underwater anymore. That is where I am the most comfortable. But, I have never dated a diver, so I really don't get a chance to do that much either.

Ask me when diving season is done!

[scubahoney]

will do, diverbrian

[Diverlady]

I prefer to get to know them through an activity where we have time to get to know one another first. Dates can be awkward, experiencing something we both enjoy is much less so (for example, diving).

I completely agree with Dr. Bill on this one. I prefer to know the person first and since I really don't know any single guys, you can surmise that I don't really date. My last "date" was probably about 2.5 yrs ago.

I'm rather busy as it is so trying to fit someone into my schedule would be tricky!

Diverlady

[Lubold8431]

I dont date. I seek out a woman that I like and take her back to the cave by the hair...
LOL....

[Diverbrian]

I know that feeling as well. With all my side ventures on diving stuff and a straight second shift job, I really don't choose to make the time to put myself out there anymore.

Once winter kicks in, maybe things will be different, but somehow I doubt it. I hate the pressure that goes with dates. I would almost rather do a 130 ft. dive on an Al80 in thirty-nine degree water (which I am not crazy enough to do so you get my point.

[scubahoney]

Wow. Ok guys..going out with someone you have "gotten to know" is also considered a date!!
I've been on 3 this week, and let me tell you...long has passed the age of the gentleman! I don't normally date a whole lot either, but I figured...what the heck...being newly single after 4 yrs and all. Maybe I am just naive, but guys seem to be much more obvious about what they "WANT" these days. Keep in mind that I don't flirt as much as you guys around here might think. Should we women just give up on the idea that a guy will want to date us for who we are?

[Diverbrian]

Wow. Ok guys..going out with someone you have "gotten to know" is also considered a date!!
I've been on 3 this week, and let me tell you...long has passed the age of the gentleman!  I don't normally date a whole lot either, but I figured...what the heck...being newly single after 4 yrs and all.  Maybe I am just naive, but guys seem to be much more obvious about what the "WANT" these days.  Keep in mind that I don't flirt as much as you guys around here might think.  Should we women just give up on the idea that a guy will want to date us for who we are?

Not in my opinion. Using the force... I deduce that the a guy will appear who doesn't make it obvious and flirts a little.

If you don't find what you deserve right away, there is NO reason to settle for less than you deserve. Gentlemen are still out there. It is just that some of them are wallflowers and need to be prodded slightly. On another board, I used myself for an example. I could have a woman giving me all of "the signs" that she was interested and she would still require a fin (not a jet fin please, as they are too heavy) to thump my upside the skull for it to sink in. I am not rare.

I know that I was raised to be a gentleman and the creeps that aren't and make me have to be doubly nice to prove that I am NOT a control freak, etc.... really get my goat.

And I see no reason that a good man wouldn't date you or most of the ladies on this board (and yes, I am including TF in the "lady" category). Don't give up hope, yet!

Edited by Diverbrian, 08 May 2004 - 10:53 PM.

[Diverlady]

I could have a woman giving me all of "the signs" that she was interested and she would still require a fin (not a jet fin please, as they are too heavy) to thump my upside the skull for it to sink in.  I am not rare.

I can completely relate. I've been out of the game for so long I just don't pick up on the signs!! I'm not expecting them so I don't look for them and they go right past me!!!

Diverlady

[triggerfish]

And I see no reason that a good man wouldn't date you or most of the ladies on this board (and yes, I am including TF in the "lady" category).

??????????????????????????????

should i be flattered, or should i just break your kneecaps????

[Coo's Toe]

Short answer? Not nearly often enough. I did go on a real life actual face to face date not that long ago. Hopefully there will be more dates in the near future.

As far as your question about where have all the gentlemen gone? There's a can of worms. Yes... we're a dying breed. But a similiar question can be posed about where have all the ladies gone? Many women out there seem downright slutty to me nowdays. I see 13 year old girls who dress and carry themselves in public as if they could teach me new tricks. It's no great surprise that a lot of guys are responding in kind and treating women like objects. A lot of women out there today want to rush into the physical stuff. Both sexes are equally guilty of seeking immediate gratification. Is it any wonder that so many relationships fall apart as quickly as they do nowdays?

Women seem to react all over the spectrum to men acting like gentlemen. One wants doors opened for her and the next one resents you even suggesting that she can't do it for herself. Add to that the modern technology where faucets run automatically, toilets flush themselves, and doors don't even give gentlemen the opportunity... it's no wonder a lot of us have gone into hiding! We're confused about how to react for the most part.

Just follow Brian's advice. Don't settle for disrespectful treatment. Gentlemen do exist, and we'll jump at the chance to treat you like a lady if you let us. If a guy's acting like a pig, let him know that. Try looking for someone who didn't learn how to treat women by watching MTV. The type of guy you're looking for does exist, trust me. If you respect yourself, and act like you're worthy of respect, I'll bet the type of guy you're asking for will come out of hiding pretty quick.

[scubahoney]

hmm..TF...maybe flattered?!

[Diverlady]

Women seem to react all over the spectrum to men acting like gentlemen. One wants doors opened for her and the next one resents you even suggesting that she can't do it for herself. Add to that the modern technology where faucets run automatically, toilets flush themselves, and doors don't even give gentlemen the opportunity... it's no wonder a lot of us have gone into hiding! We're confused about how to react for the most part.

Agreed, CT.

It's confusing for women too!! If I reach a door the same time a guy does I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to just stand there and expect him to open it for me because not all guys will and then I'm left standing there like an idiot! So I'm likely to just grab the handle and do it myself. If, however, the guy makes a gesture towards the door like he's going to open it for me, I will certainly let him and thank him for doing so.
But then there's the whole revolving door thing! I usually stop to let the guy go first but then the guy stops to be a gentleman and let me go first when actually, the gentlemanly thing would be for him to go first! For those who don't know, you've got to push the door so the guy is supposed to go first. I run into this dilemma every time I enter or leave my workplace and it's frustrating!! I must admit I have pointed this out to several men (about them going first in the revolving door) and then jokingly added that it's in the latest release of the gentleman's etiquette handbook (to take the sting out of correcting him). I usually get back a comment the guy must have an older version of the book or that their copy is on backorder.

DL

[scubahoney]

Dl, we should write a new version for women too! Men, I don' think you should always be doing the nice stuff. i want to do something for the guys too...but what?

MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER!!!