328 replies to this topic

[nycamico]

I have been thinking about getting back on the dating scene. I was wondering how most men feel about this- if we made eye contact in a public place how would you feel if I walked over and said "Hi, do we know each other?"

I see attractive men out shopping and such, but have no clue how to initiate contact. My last trip to the mall I kept having eye contact with a guy in Williams Sonoma, but unfortunately collapsed in a coughing spasm since I had a terrible cold, and was too humiliated to talk to him. I am really clueless as to the whole flirting deal, and feel like I need some plan of action to follow here. I hate bars and really don't have many single friends. A good friend of mine met her SO at Starbucks- she initiated contact.

So anyway- just wondering how you guys feel about this and if you have any suggestions. Or ladies, any good stories or pick up lines you use?

Thanks for your help!

[drbill]

Men have been doing it for years. Women should have the same option. Given that many of us can be a bit shy, it could break the ice. I had a woman start talking to me Sunday as the SD crew had their after-dive drive. She seemed nice and was interested in diving Catalina (she dives tropical regions) so I gave her my e-mail address.

I really appreciate it when a woman feels comfortable doing that. Ice breakers are often all that is needed!

Take your destiny in your own hands. Act. Of course be prepared for rejection, but remember Babe Ruth was not only the home run king (at least in my youth) but also the strike out king. Don't let those rejections that occur make you lose confidence for the next opportunity.

Dr. B.

[unclewas]

Hi there nycamico.

Well now as a bonafide red blooded single guy. I would probably respond very favourably to something like a warm sincere smile and a "Hi name name is "nycamico" how are you?" I'd take it from there! Even if I wasn't interested we would still share a few pleasant moments together,,,and that's always a good thing.

pleasantmomentsarenicewas

[Diverlady]

I too could use some help with approaching/contacting men.

So here's your chance to tell me what to do. I was working on Saturday with a few people in the same profession (a sideline profession for all but one of us) but that I hadn't met before. All were men. We stood around chatting and freezing our butts off for several hours just shooting the breeze. When we were down to three, one of the guys asked me if I had a business card. I produced 2 (sorry no singledivers ones yet and this guy's a diver!!) and handed them over. He then gave me one but first wrote his cell # on the back. He didn't give anyone else his card and I didn't either.
So, is this clue/sign? Something more blatant would be better for me!!

Diverlady

BTW - welcome to SD unclewas!! In case you haven't figured it out, I'm CanadianDiverlady!

SORRY NYCAMICO! I didn't mean to hijack your thread with my own questions!!

[WreckWench]

I too could use some help with approaching/contacting men. 

So here's your chance to tell me what to do.  I was working on Saturday with a few people in the same profession (a sideline profession for all but one of us) but that I hadn't met before. All were men.  We stood around chatting and freezing our butts off for several hours just shooting the breeze.  When we were down to three, one of the guys asked me if I had a business card.  I produced 2 (sorry no singledivers ones yet and this guy's a diver!!) and handed them over. He then gave me one but first wrote his cell # on the back.  He didn't give anyone else his card and I didn't either. 
So, is this clue/sign?  Something more blatant would be better for me!!

Diverlady

BTW - welcome to SD unclewas!!  In case you haven't figured it out, I'm CanadianDiverlady!

UncleWas: Welcome and please post an intro as people will turn this thread into one trying to welcome you!!! LOL!!!

DiverLady: Yes it was a clue...now to see if he contacts you to let you know he was interested. If you are REALLY interested and he doesn't contact you...come up with some reason to email him and say you enjoyed meeting him and you thought he might be interested in 'abc event' or 'xyz article' etc. Basic networking skills for work just applied to a different subject matter.

NYCamico:

I was wondering how most men feel about this- if we made eye contact in a public place how would you feel if I walked over and said "Hi, do we know each other?"

I have had the same opportunity and I ususally wait to see if the guy will make the first move! I still continue to make eye contact with them and if they seem responsive then I'll walk over and say...I hope you weren't uncomfortable about me 'staring' at you but you look so familiar...where are you from?" Same idea just more comfortable for me to say. Plus it leads into more conversation if they are interested.

Good luck in getting back into the dating scene...I for one have been in it all my life...or so it seems. We have some really awesome people on our site that will give you lots of advice and if you make a dive trip or two...I'm sure you'll meet some great new friends...some of which could develop into more!!!

We are still new so getting more people to the site will help as well but hopefully new folks like you will spread the word about us and we'll keep doubling our membership as we have for the first 2 months we've been in existance!!!

P.S. I put this into of interest for singles since it pertains to something DEFINITELY of interest to singles!!!

[IRONPIG]

I think you should go for it.
I think most men would be flattered to have a woman aproach them,most are full of the same doubts you are feeling.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WONDWER "WHAT IF"

[Diverlady]

DiverLady: Yes it was a clue...now to see if he contacts you to let you know he was interested. If you are REALLY interested and he doesn't contact you...come up with some reason to email him and say you enjoyed meeting him and you thought he might be interested in 'abc event' or 'xyz article' etc. Basic networking skills for work just applied to a different subject matter.

Let the waiting game begin!

DL

[kevininpo]

Just go for it, don't beat around the bush. lt seems a lot of people think some catchy line is needed to start a conversation. All one has to do is go up and say something like "hows your day been so far" or something like that....this isn't rocket science, people. To not act on intuition or attraction is only gonna short change you!

[Diverlady]

lt seems a lot of people think some catchy line is needed to start a conversation. All one has to do is go up and say something like "hows your day been so far" or something like that....this isn't rocket science, people.

I agree with not using a catchy line. I think an honest question or comment is much more polite.

DL

[Walter]

nycamico,

Go for it, but don't ask if you've met before unless you really believe that to be the case. Don't start out with a deception. He'll be flattered even if he's not interested. Look at it this way, you might meet an interesting person, you might develop a great relationship, but in the worst case you'll have made someone feel good about himself.

Diverlady,

He's interested. You can play the waiting game, but if you're interested you should feel free to call him. You have his cell number for a reason.

[RICHinNC]

I def agree with Walter on the point of deception. Just walk over and say something like...

"Hi ..I saw you standing here and you looked like an interesting person I would like to meet."

I doubt very seriously that you would ever get shot down a fraction of the times men get shot down. And, when you are old as me.....you got shot wounds all over the place!!!

If you want to practice....I will be glad to give you my address.
rich

[Diverlady]

Diverlady,

He's interested. You can play the waiting game, but if you're interested you should feel free to call him. You have his cell number for a reason.

Yeah, but we work in the same field so the speak so that could also be the reason for the c-#.

DL

[Walter]

Yeah, but we work in the same field .......... so that could also be the reason for the c-#.

True, not likely, but possible. If you're interested, you should still call.

[Diverbrian]

Gee, I've got enough bullet wounds on my fuselage that I lost count of the number of parachutes that I have used.

I did mention the proper use of diving fins right?

Seriously, my favorite line is "Hello". It is simple and to the point. Normally it is good for a few lines of conversation and is useable by man and woman, LOL.

My problem with cells (which Walter will attest to) is that I am talkative. If I meet another talkative lady, I don't call often because trying to get off the phone is like "Well, we really should wrap this up, so am letting you go...", followed by "By the way"...twenty minutes later "We really should be going now, one last point"... twenty minutes later (Well you get the idea). I deal with two ladies like that now and a third that is borderline. And I don't even date any of them. :dltears:

BTW, ladies, you have the same rights as the men. Go ahead and open the conversation. If there is harm in that, than you don't want that guy anyways.

Edited by Diverbrian, 10 May 2004 - 10:10 AM.

[DivingGal]

I say go for it... The worst that can happen, he turns you down... the best the start of something special.

As others have said, don't start off with false statements, or false hopes and you can't be disappointed