We are hoping our Married but Buddyless gang can help us out here...what exactly constitutes a 'perfect or optimum or wonderful or ideal' spouse?
After reading some of the recent Valentine's Day threads I think I have an idea but being unmarried and hoping to one day be the 'ideal spouse'....what are the characteristics of the 'perfect/ideal' spouse?
So what attributes make for the perfect/ideal spouse?
Started by
WreckWench
, Feb 15 2006 05:08 AM
18 replies to this topic
#1
WreckWench
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 05:08 AM
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#2
Twinklez
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 06:30 AM
Someone who would accept me for me, intellectually, physically, emotionally and in any other category. I don't want to feel the pressure of trying to live up to someone else's expectation of "how" I should be. I just want to be loved for being Tina. 
Of course, I have to reciprocate equitably.
Of course, I have to reciprocate equitably.
Edited by Twinklez, 15 February 2006 - 06:31 AM.
#3
blacklatexozdiver
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 08:02 AM
Someone who would accept me for me, intellectually, physically, emotionally and in any other category. I don't want to feel the pressure of trying to live up to someone else's expectation of "how" I should be. I just want to be loved for being Tina.
Of course, I have to reciprocate equitably.
Absolutely!Trust, open communication & honesty go a long way too.
Edited by blacklatexozdiver, 15 February 2006 - 08:03 AM.
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#4
6Gill
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 08:04 AM
A boat complete with a compressor ?
Eric
Eric
#5
blacklatexozdiver
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 08:28 AM
A boat complete with a compressor ?
Eric
I was going to say something about... umm.... "headlights" but decided not to mention them.
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#6
Dejah
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 08:42 AM
Someone who would accept me for me, intellectually, physically, emotionally and in any other category. I don't want to feel the pressure of trying to live up to someone else's expectation of "how" I should be. I just want to be loved for being Tina.
Of course, I have to reciprocate equitably.
Trust, open communication & honesty go a long way too.
I have to agree with both of these.. Especially the open communication part.. being able to talk to each other about anything and not have the other take offense. That was one problem I had with my ex husband it got to a point where anything I talked to him about regarding our relationship and the problems we had he took offense and the fights always started...
#7
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 10:10 AM
I love you for who you are Tina!! Unfortunately, I don't think I am your type....but that's okay, you are not really my type either!!!
As far as the perfect spouse goes, someone once told me you get married because the other person completes you, they make your like easier and better. They make you whole. You have to work on a relationship, but it is not supposed to be THAT much work. So if you find yourself constantly comprimising and struggling no matter how good everything else may seem with that person, it is just not worth it.
As far as the perfect spouse goes, someone once told me you get married because the other person completes you, they make your like easier and better. They make you whole. You have to work on a relationship, but it is not supposed to be THAT much work. So if you find yourself constantly comprimising and struggling no matter how good everything else may seem with that person, it is just not worth it.
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#8
ScubaDadMiami
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 10:37 AM
Mutual acceptance and admiration of the other.
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#9
drbill
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 12:35 PM
Someone who would accept me for me, intellectually, physically, emotionally and in any other category. I don't want to feel the pressure of trying to live up to someone else's expectation of "how" I should be. I just want to be loved for being Tina.
Of course, I have to reciprocate equitably.
Yep, the bold sentence in your post is the hard part!
Honesty and trust are keys for me. Of course gorgeous gams help gain my trust!
#10
Twinklez
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 12:50 PM
Darn! Sold the boat and it didn't have a compressor anyway!A boat complete with a compressor ?
Eric
#11
Twinklez
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 01:14 PM
I love you for who you are Tina!! Unfortunately, I don't think I am your type....but that's okay, you are not really my type either!!!
As far as the perfect spouse goes, someone once told me you get married because the other person completes you, they make your like easier and better. They make you whole. You have to work on a relationship, but it is not supposed to be THAT much work. So if you find yourself constantly comprimising and struggling no matter how good everything else may seem with that person, it is just not worth it.
I used to think that I needed someone else to complete me. I found out that for me, that's not a good way to look at it. I have to be whole all by myself, and I'd like to meet another whole person to compliment me, and I him. After all, who wants to love half a person?
#12
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 02:35 PM
I love you for who you are Tina!! Unfortunately, I don't think I am your type....but that's okay, you are not really my type either!!!
As far as the perfect spouse goes, someone once told me you get married because the other person completes you, they make your like easier and better. They make you whole. You have to work on a relationship, but it is not supposed to be THAT much work. So if you find yourself constantly comprimising and struggling no matter how good everything else may seem with that person, it is just not worth it.
Ok, I'll bite. Well, sometimes I do.
I really don't think the "someone completes you" thing is right. You both have to be complete persons in and of yourselves. You may compliment each other, but to need someone to complete you means you don't have a healthy personality in the first place. Just my 2psi here.
You each have to allow the other to be an individual first. Will that cause some conflicts? Of course. It's how we each handle the conflicts that makes a relationship work. A lasting relationship in not a 50%/50% giving thing, it is a 110%/110% giving thing. What I mean by that is each of you need to feel like you are giving 110% to the relationship.
Love is not jealous and it is not an ownership of one or the other. A good relationship should be a partnership, not a leader and a follower. Although some of those relationships do seem to work, I would be stifled as either partner.
Ok, I've rambled enough. And, I really am not sure if I can explain completely what I think makes a perfect partner. It's like pornography, I can't explain it, but I can recognize it when I see it.
Edited by Dennis, 15 February 2006 - 02:35 PM.
DSSW,
Dennis
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Dennis
"Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress ... But I repeat myself." --Mark Twain
#13
BeachBunny
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 04:08 PM
Yeah, maybe she said compliment, it was a long time ago! I do think that the right partner can complete you however. It does not mean you are less than whole by yourself, it just means that maybe they were that little piece that was missing before (even if you didn't know it). Who am I to judge, I have the bad intuition!
Maybe enhance would be a better word?
Maybe enhance would be a better word?
Edited by BeachBunny, 15 February 2006 - 06:27 PM.
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#14
finley
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 05:08 PM
You each have to allow the other to be an individual first. Will that cause some conflicts? Of course. It's how we each handle the conflicts that makes a relationship work.
exactly
who's leading this parade anyway?
#15
madlobster
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Posted 15 February 2006 - 07:14 PM
It is about trust, and honesty, being open. It's compremise not compete. It's communication, not my way or the hiway. It's about adjustments not total changes. And it is about work, it doesn't come easy all the time and you can't bail on the first signs of rough water. It is a partnership, sure I do somethings without my wife and she too does things with out me but always we are in communication with each other. Do we argue, of course, but we resolve those differences. Sometimes it's to my greater satisfaction than hers and other times its the other way around. It is a team effort. Not sure if it helps but.....you aksed
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