Guys, are you in touch with her feelings?

I've never quite figured out why the sexual urges of men and
women
differ so much, and I've never figured out that whole Venus and
Mars
thing. I've never figured out why men think with their head and
women
think with their heart, and I've never figured out why the
sexual desire
gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it hears the
words "I do".


One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it,
I just want you to hold me."
I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!'' So she says the words
that every
husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in
touch with my
emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs
as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just
love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went
to sleep.


The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at
a big,
big department store. I walked around with her while she tried
on several
different very expensive outfits.
She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll
just buy
them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so
I said
lets get a pair for each outfit. We went to the jewelry
department where
she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one
wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a
tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I
threw
her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the
excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think
this is all
dear, lets go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey,
I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a
baffled
"WHAT??!!!"
I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff
for a
while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man
enough
for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me
I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy
you?"
Apparently I won't be having sex again until sometime after
pigs fly
over a frozen hell.

that was hysterical!!!!

i hope for your sake it's not true!!

Come on, that bit of humor has been floating around the Internet for some time.

My advice to men... women DO enjoy sex if you pay proper attention to their emotional (and physical) needs in the process. My philosophy is essentially why would a woman want to indulge your needs if she does not receive adequate "reward" for her effort. If a woman enjoys the emotional and physical intimacy of coupling with a man, she will not only want more... but initiate it herself! Oops, I guess I was talking about sheep crabs rather than humans.

Dr. Bill

It seems most is recycled anymore but it's still funny!

coupling with a man

it's sex Bill, not a dang tractor trailer

wildcard, doc is mostly kidding.
he's like that.
only very few people realize it when he is.
we just kinda humor him (i mean, it's only a matter of time when a guy who films CRAB SEX for hoots is gonna get VIOLENT!!!)

wildcard, doc is mostly kidding.
he's like that.
only very few people realize it when he is.
we just kinda humor him (i mean, it's only a matter of time when a guy who films CRAB SEX for hoots is gonna get VIOLENT!!!)

so, Trig, you bought that crab costume yet???

should be here this week.

did you get yours????

should be here this week.

did you get yours????

hehe, you know it!!!

now all we have to do is convince doc we're real crabs....
hmmm....vis out on catalina isn't the greatest, so we got THAT goin' for us.....

YOU ARE ALL TWISTED! I like that!

Heck TF, for once I wasn't kidding... I was serious!

Just got back from three dives (one with an angel who is, sigh, taken) as well as two buffalo milks, one beer and lots of dancing at the Casino Dock Cafe afterwards (in my wetsuit of course)!

Yee ha!

Doc

see what i get for defending you???
it's getting so even I can't tell when you're kidding....and i'm one of the few you usually do!!!

so....buffalo milk??? how'd you get her to stand still??

Ah TF, buffalo milk is a popular drink out here. After two of them even I could dance like Fred Astaire... er, cause everyone to stare. Ya, that's it.

Now quite sober thank you and finished editing today's footage.

Doc