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Wild n' Out Wednesday

Started by Dive_Girl , Apr 12 2006 10:24 AM

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15 replies to this topic

#1 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 12 April 2006 - 10:24 AM

In the spirit of the hilarious Nick Cannon's Wild n' Out I was thinking about some good natured diving zingers!

Top 5 signs you know your dive buddy doesn't like you!

5. He gives you the "wait there" sign and you're still on the boat
4. As you make your way to enter the water he hollars "Dead man walking!"
3. You see a big shark and turn to see your buddy has written "Tastes Like Tuna!" on his slate with an arrow pointing to you!
2. He offers to spit in your mask for you - while you have it on!
1. You give him the out of air signal and he gives you the finger!

:lmao:

How about giving us some top worst signs to see when you surface!?

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#2 Capn Jack

I spend too much time on line

Professional
1,994 posts

Location:DFW
Gender:Male
Board Status:Working to fund the next trip
Cert Level:YMCA in 65, dove till 79, returned in 2002... now will work for air and/or beer as a DM
Logged Dives:not enough

Posted 12 April 2006 - 10:50 AM

My top ten

10. No buddy in sight
9. No boat / beach in sight
8. No Coast Guard helo in sight
7. Severe joint pain
6. That fizzing feeling under your skin
5. Bloody froth coming out of your mouth/nose
4. Missing limbs
3. No fresh cut fruit on the boat
2. No water on the boat
1. No beer on the boat

No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau

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#3 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 12 April 2006 - 11:19 AM

To prioritize missing limbs lower than beer on the boat! I knew these SD divers were crazy! :diver:

How about worst sign to see when you surface:

A life raft filled with the cast of Gilligan's Island! :diver:

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#4 Vulture

Meeting folks

Member
136 posts

Location:Washington, DC
Gender:Male
Cert Level:AOW, Nitrox, Rescue
Logged Dives:60+

Posted 12 April 2006 - 11:45 AM

Top sign you know your dive buddy doesn't like you!

Convinces you that attaching fresh cut fish heads to your gear will allow you to blend in and get a close up look at underwater life...

Things get better everyday you stay alive
then I'm amazed every day that the sun decides to rise
every minute, every hour, is another chance to change
life is beautiful & terrible & strange.
- "Take Me Home" by Concrete Blonde

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#5 jholley309

People are starting to get to know me

Member
271 posts

Location:Augusta, GA
Gender:Male
Cert Level:Open Water
Logged Dives:20-ish

Posted 12 April 2006 - 04:43 PM

How about giving us some top worst signs to see when you surface!?

...you suddenly notice "SS Minnow" painted across the transom of the dive boat.

Cheers!

Jim

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is what you do in spite of your fear.

Every man has fear. Any man who has no fear belongs in an institution. Or in Special Forces.

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#6 finGrabber

I need to get a life

Member
5,276 posts

Location:dfw
Gender:Female
Board Status:thinkin' about diving
Cert Level:DM; TDI Adv Nitrox and Deco Procedures
Logged Dives:1200 ish

Posted 12 April 2006 - 09:18 PM

Or,

you ask your buddy "where's the boat?"

buddy signals "that way >>>>>"

then heads the other way!

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#7 ScubaHawk

Midwest HH Planner

Member
2,265 posts

Location:Newton AL. ... really
Gender:Male
Cert Level:Dive Master
Logged Dives:1000+

Posted 18 April 2006 - 12:16 AM

Sign you need a new dive buddy

- He help you out by draining all of the water that "leaked" into your compass

Take an SD trip - See old friends you have never met before!
Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. - Jean-Paul Sartre
I feel the urge, the urge to submerge! -ScubaHawk - Raptor of the Deep !
WHO DAT!!!!

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#8 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 10 May 2006 - 02:19 PM

Happy hump day y'all!! :birthday:

The Top Signs Your Dive Buddy is a Prison Escapee:

Chain mail means something completely different to him...
He's holding up a numbered sign in his C-card photo. :birthday:

His dive plan includes rendezvousing with a fishing boat handled by his cousin Earl!
He calls his dive knife a "shank"
He tries to trade you some air for a pack of cigarettes

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#9 Capn Jack

I spend too much time on line

Professional
1,994 posts

Location:DFW
Gender:Male
Board Status:Working to fund the next trip
Cert Level:YMCA in 65, dove till 79, returned in 2002... now will work for air and/or beer as a DM
Logged Dives:not enough

Posted 10 May 2006 - 03:33 PM

The Top Signs Your Dive Buddy is a Prison Escapee:

She refers to the DM as "The Screw", and the Captain as "Warden"
He has handcuff keys in his save-a-dive kit
Her wetuit is bright orange with a number on the back
He gives you a pen tattoo during the surface interval
You catch her stuffing all the SI snacks into her wetsuit

No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau

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#10 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 10 May 2006 - 05:03 PM

THOSE WERE HILARIOUS!

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#11 Desert_Diver

Everyone knows me

Charter Member
710 posts

Location:Dallas, TX
Gender:Male
Cert Level:PADI AOW, TDI Nitrox (does it really matter to you??)
Logged Dives:130 something

Posted 06 June 2006 - 09:31 PM

Here's some from WAY back:

Top 10 Things Not to Say on a Dive Boat (written by the readers of Scuba Diving Online)

10) "Can I keep this coral that your anchor broke off?"
9) "Buddy? Oh, did I go down with a buddy?"
8) "Can someone lend me a computer? Mine keeps flashing 'Deco Violation'?"
7) "I count seven, are you SURE there are eight names on the manifest?"
6) "Does anyone else smell smoke?"
5) "What do I do with this bucket of vomit?"
4) "Could you 'warm up' my wetsuit for me?"
3) "Macarena anyone?"
2) "Certification smertification!"
1) "Is that your mask under my tank?"

And my all time favorite thing you NEVER want to witness on ascent:
You see the boat pass you going down while you're on the anchor line.

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#12 BlckShadow

Getting started

Member
20 posts

Location:Bothell, WA
Gender:Male
Cert Level:Full Trimix, Cave
Logged Dives:265

Posted 07 June 2006 - 01:41 AM

You guys all know how to survive a shark attack right???

Well when you see him coming for you.... You pull out your largest knife! (errrr.... shank)

Then stab your buddy and swim real fast. Works every time.

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#13 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 07 June 2006 - 10:16 AM

Here's some from WAY back:And my all time favorite thing you NEVER want to witness on ascent:
You see the boat pass you going down while you're on the anchor line.

Although a long time running joke, a friend of mine really had that one happen!!! No joke! He said he was down watching the divers then felt this odd woosh sort of like a pressure wave and looked over to see the boat gliding down past him!

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#14 Walter

I need to get a life

Member
7,549 posts

Location:Lehigh Acres, Florida
Gender:Male
Cert Level:Instructor
Logged Dives:4 digits

Posted 07 June 2006 - 10:26 AM

Here's some from WAY back:And my all time favorite thing you NEVER want to witness on ascent:
You see the boat pass you going down while you're on the anchor line.
Although a long time running joke, a friend of mine really had that one happen!!! No joke! He said he was down watching the divers then felt this odd woosh sort of like a pressure wave and looked over to see the boat gliding down past him!

Was he diving off the Captain Crunch in Key Largo about 20 - 21 years ago?

No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.

DSSW,

WWW™

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#15 BubbleBoy

Everyone knows me

Member
749 posts

Location:Randolph, NJ
Gender:Male
Cert Level:AOW + Deep, Wreck, Drysuit, Navigation, Night, Rescue, Nitrox Specialties
Logged Dives:300+

Posted 07 June 2006 - 10:36 AM

Here's some from WAY back:And my all time favorite thing you NEVER want to witness on ascent:
You see the boat pass you going down while you're on the anchor line.
Although a long time running joke, a friend of mine really had that one happen!!! No joke! He said he was down watching the divers then felt this odd woosh sort of like a pressure wave and looked over to see the boat gliding down past him!

I came close to this kind of event while diving in Jamaica last December .

First, the boat sank in the bay near shore. After they patched it I went out for my multi-level AOW dive training and the boat started leaking again. My trainer joked (sort of) that if the boat sank while we were down, we could probably count it as my wreck training dive too.

Fortunately, we made it back with only about 50 gal of water sloshing around inside the hull.

BB

When you make fish laugh, they can't bite you.