29 replies to this topic

[shadragon]

Here is a simple question and one that has been discussed on the periphery of other threads.

What is your cut-off distance for maintaining a relationship?

[Moose]

Here is a simple question and one that has been discussed on the periphery of other threads.

What is your cut-off distance for maintaining a relationship?

Thanks for posting this poll. Recently, this was an issue with me as well. I'm curious what the general consenses is.

Edited by Moose, 29 August 2007 - 06:46 AM.

[pir8]

Iwish I knew the answer to this one. Or at least could honestly saythat I wouldn't go to the ends of the earth if necessary. Cause I'll never know how far I will or won't go. Of course I do love to travel and that's as good an excuse as any. HUH!!!

[Starfish Sandy]

Dan and I were approximately 3500 miles apart........which breaks down to a 3 1/2 hour plane ride and lots of emails and phone calls - and determination!!

[Neptuner]

And max congrats to you and Dan darlin' for quite literally "going the distance"!

True love knows no boundaries.

[cmt489]

While I didn't used to think LDRs could work, given that George and I, until these past couple of weeks, spanned the continent from one another, I must confess that distance is not an issue with the right person. I think, however, different continents could become wearing - at least we were located on the same general land mass!

[Cold_H2O]

I have no idea how far is too far.
I agree with Michelle ~ with the right person you both somehow find a way to make it work.

Edited by gis_gal, 29 August 2007 - 09:38 AM.

[drbill]

While I didn't used to think LDRs could work, given that George and I, until these past couple of weeks, spanned the continent from one another, I must confess that distance is not an issue with the right person. I think, however, different continents could become wearing - at least we were located on the same general land mass!

Agree.

I've tried relationships on different continents (USA and Asia), but they didn't work. Might have if I were an investment banker instead of a dive bum. Oh, wait... SHE was an investment banker.

[Jellyfishluv]

My opinion is that, with email, web-cams, cell phones and all the other technology, if two people have feelings for each other and have the money to travel to spend quality time together every few months, then no where is too far.

If, on the other hand, neither one can afford to pay for flights to see eachother or one can't afford it and the other can't pay for that person, then "internet dating' can only last so long, and this isn't because of the "S" word. It's just that if two people never meet or never see eachother in my opinion it doesn't seem real, and for me, things that don't seem real aren't worth wasting my time on.

Also, if I am living in a city that I want to live in, I don't want to do the LDR because I am where I want or wish to be- but when I am in a geographical location I'd like to get the hell out of, then I am more open to having a LDR with someone located where I want to move- it's never happened, but that's how I think it is for me.

But, if you meet someone, and there is no communication (i.e. phone calls, emails, web-cam or face-to-face), it doesn't matter if he lived around the corner!

I'd rather date a guy that lived on another continent if we communicated almost daily with say a web-cam, then a guy in the same city if we only spoke (seen eachother) once a month.

But I would never do a LDR for years- no matter how much I thought I loved someone- one of us would have to eventually move, or move on.

Edited by Jellyfishluv, 29 August 2007 - 10:41 AM.

[echo3]

I voted <25miles

however, I have, some time ago, traveled 112 and even 170 miles one way to maintain a relationship.

- on a side note, I did have an extended tour on active duty tdy which had a ltr stretched to about 900 miles away.

not worth it IMHO.

that is of course, as far as dating goes.

I like touch, so anything greater than 25 miles seems to far for me (drive times and fuel costs)
you can't just stop by or do something spontaneous w/o any detailed planing.

[Moose]

<<<STUFF DELETED TO SAVE SPACE>>>

But I would never do a LDR for years- no matter how much I thought I loved someone- one of us would have to eventually move, or move on.

Touche! This is the most concise, and perfect response to LDRs I have read.

[scubagoddess]

I agree with the majority here that if you meet the right person distance is not really an issue as long as both parties agree to work together on overcoming that little detail. I don't really think the same continent thing really matters once you have spanned a certain distance....a long flight is just that whether it is over land or over water. I think when you do meet the right person, those little details like being attached to where you live become minor or non-existant....you become more concerned with how to close the distance rather than with who closes the distance.

[tcih2o]

I agree with the majority here that if you meet the right person distance is not really an issue as long as both parties agree to work together on overcoming that little detail. I don't really think the same continent thing really matters once you have spanned a certain distance....a long flight is just that whether it is over land or over water. I think when you do meet the right person, those little details like being attached to where you live become minor or non-existant....you become more concerned with how to close the distance rather than with who closes the distance.

I agree in principle with this but it is a lot harder to do than say. Living in the Caribbean I have had a few LDR's that didn't work out. I guess I just need to find a woman that think like the great ones here at SD.

[Bubbles]

It’s really hard to quantify the distance until you are actually placed into that situation. I don’t think anybody purposely tries to meet somebody who is geographically undesirable. Sometimes it just happens, and when it does, it’s up to both parties to decide whether or not to persue a long distance relationship. If there are feelings and a mutual attraction, then the distance really doesn’t matter to me.

I do agree with Jellyfishluv about how technology makes a huge difference these days. With cell phones, especially the “friends & family” type plans, you can talk for hours everyday and not worry about high phone bills. Plus with email, there’s no reason why you can’t keep the communication lines open and flowing. Truthfully I communicate more with people who are a 1,000 or more miles away from me than I do with some folks who live right here in Birmingham!

Anyway, it all boils down to flexibility, because if the relationship continues for a long period of time, eventually somebody is going to have to move, or the relationship will need to end.