Christmas Eve in Brooklyn
'Twas the night befor Christmas,
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun unda my pillow,
When up on da roof,
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprun to da window,
To scream, "Ay, keep it down!"
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer
Wit' a bad hackin' cough,
And the stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment,
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And called dem by name.
Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!
As I drew out my gun,
And hid by da bed,
Down came his friggin' boot
On da top a my head.
His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b.o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had a mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in my eye,
And he twisted my head.
He soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right unda my nose,
He let out some gas,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
Odscenities screamin',
And away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin',
But I heard him exclaim,
Or better yet grump,
Marry Christmas to all, and
Bite me, ya hump!
