It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day for me. I had some good news that I called my dad with only to find out that the man who gave of his strength to me while I grew up had worse news for me.
For those that don't know, my mother passed away in June of 1992. Dad still keeps her ashes and has requested me to bury those ashes in his grave with him as they were married for 25 years.
Dad's current significant other has been with him for four years. He finally found a woman that he could live with and love as much as my mother. Now, the doctors in Florida (where they both live) are giving her only a few months to live due to cancer. Hospice people are in and out of his home.
I am not overly religious, but I can't help but pray that the power higher than us lends him strength as he basically looks at becoming a widower for the second time.
For my dad
Started by
Diverbrian
, Apr 14 2006 01:06 PM
20 replies to this topic
#1
Diverbrian
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:06 PM
A person should be judged in this life not by the mistakes that they make nor by the number of them. Rather they are to be judged by their recovery from them.
#2
seafox
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:15 PM
It's been an emotional roller coaster of a day for me. I had some good news that I called my dad with only to find out that the man who gave of his strength to me while I grew up had worse news for me.
For those that don't know, my mother passed away in June of 1992. Dad still keeps her ashes and has requested me to bury those ashes in his grave with him as they were married for 25 years.
Dad's current significant other has been with him for four years. He finally found a woman that he could live with and love as much as my mother. Now, the doctors in Florida (where they both live) are giving her only a few months to live due to cancer. Hospice people are in and out of his home.
I am not overly religious, but I can't help but pray that the power higher than us lends him strength as he basically looks at becoming a widower for the second time.
I am sorry for the anxiety and the pain your Dad is experiencing.
My warmest thoughts and prayers are with you and your father.
Protect the SHARKS!
Excellence is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards!
Excellence is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction, skillful execution and the vision to see obstacles as opportunities.
Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards!
#3
ScubaDadMiami
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:22 PM
Brian, I am sorry to hear about this. I hope everything will be okay for you and your family.
"The most important thing is not to stop questioning." Albert Einstein
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
#4
Dive_Girl
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 01:26 PM
Brian - my thoughts go out to your Dad, his wife and you.
It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!
Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.
Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.
#5
finGrabber
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 02:10 PM
Brian,
my thoughts and prayers go out to you, your Dad and his SO
I have been in the situation you are describing and it is no picnic
Please let me know if you need anything, even if it's a shoulder to cry on because I understand
Kim
my thoughts and prayers go out to you, your Dad and his SO
I have been in the situation you are describing and it is no picnic
Please let me know if you need anything, even if it's a shoulder to cry on because I understand
Kim
#6
dustbowl diver
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 02:11 PM
Brian,
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time!!
DBD
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this very difficult time!!
DBD
"Yesterday's gone, tomorrow never knows, today will never be the same again!"-Jibe
#7
nextariel
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 04:40 PM
Brian, so sorry to hear this. It is so unfair to have to go through it once, but twice is very hard to imagine. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can. --Elsa Maxwell, September 28, 1958
#8
Diverbrian
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 05:35 PM
Brian, so sorry to hear this. It is so unfair to have to go through it once, but twice is very hard to imagine. My thoughts are with you and your loved ones.
Difference is that Dad and I both come from the John Wayne school of communication about feelings. Hence, I got sideswiped with it this morning in an unrelated conversation. Heck, he wanted to stay on the other topic and throw that in as "Oh, by the way...". He's hurting, but isn't letting on.
I don't know Tina well. All that I know is that Dad has been happy with her for the last four years. To be honest, that is what is most important to me. I don't get down to Florida due to responsibilities up in Michigan. I may wind up flying down for the funeral if he bothers to tell me instead of keeping the information locked up as is his tendency.
These are different circumstances. Mom died in a car accident and it took all of a few days. I drove home from Groton, CT to be at the hospital until she actually died. She never woke up from the car accident. Tina's way gives the family time to prepare, but is far more painful to watch.
A person should be judged in this life not by the mistakes that they make nor by the number of them. Rather they are to be judged by their recovery from them.
#9
Starfish Sandy
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 05:49 PM
My thoughts are with you Brian.
Known puker
#10
6Gill
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 07:54 PM
Here's hoping for you and your family....
Edited by 6Gill, 14 April 2006 - 07:55 PM.
#11
Twinklez
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 08:28 PM
My step-mom, the love of my dad's life, passed from cancer a year after I moved to Texas. My family was very upset at me for not being home for the funeral. Instead I opted to wait until a week after the funeral when I knew that all the hub bub would be over and dad would truly be alone. That's when he needed me most.
He never told me either Brian. When I found out that her cancer was back and had been given two months, I began calling each day sharing sunshine rather than focusing on what stared him in the face. Maybe that's what your dad needs...a cheery phone call from a son who loves him. It's hard to find something wonderful about each day to share at first, but I think you will find that it will help you as much as it helps him...and it will strengthen your bond, and possibility open John Wayne's lines of communication as well. Sharing the fun stuff makes it easier to share the hard stuff.
Brian, the stars are beautiful and bright tonight. I'll look up at the heavens above and ask that the days ahead may in some way be eased for you and your loved ones, and that your father and his wife be afforded quality of life in their last days together. She already has the greatest gift of all...a man who loves her with all of his heart.
My heart goes out to you. Tina
He never told me either Brian. When I found out that her cancer was back and had been given two months, I began calling each day sharing sunshine rather than focusing on what stared him in the face. Maybe that's what your dad needs...a cheery phone call from a son who loves him. It's hard to find something wonderful about each day to share at first, but I think you will find that it will help you as much as it helps him...and it will strengthen your bond, and possibility open John Wayne's lines of communication as well. Sharing the fun stuff makes it easier to share the hard stuff.
Brian, the stars are beautiful and bright tonight. I'll look up at the heavens above and ask that the days ahead may in some way be eased for you and your loved ones, and that your father and his wife be afforded quality of life in their last days together. She already has the greatest gift of all...a man who loves her with all of his heart.
My heart goes out to you. Tina
#12
Mitch0129
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Posted 14 April 2006 - 10:53 PM
Brian, I am so sorry to hear about this, I can only wish the best for you and your dad. You see, my dad and I were the same way, also used the John Wayne method of sharing feelings as well. It was only after he had his heart attacks and then he became a grandpa (by my brother and his wife) that he started to open up. I began to see another side of him I wished I could have seen sooner. But then again, he was a man of his time.
My prayers and wishes are with you and your dad ...
My prayers and wishes are with you and your dad ...
-Mitch-
#13
VADiver
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Posted 15 April 2006 - 01:59 PM
Brian,
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
#14
Capn Jack
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Posted 15 April 2006 - 03:11 PM
Your Dad is blessed to have a son like you to return the honor.The man who gave of his strength to me while I grew up had worse news for me
My thoughts are with you and your family.
No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau
Jacques Yves Cousteau
#15
cmt489
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Posted 16 April 2006 - 09:54 PM
I wish you and your family the best, Brian. Your family is in my thoughts.
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