14 replies to this topic

[jextract]

Husbands...how to prevent being dragged along on shopping trips!!!

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been causing
quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type of behavior
and have considered banning the entire family from shopping in any of
our stores.

We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment.
Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the trouble your
husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton have been compiled
and are listed below.

Mr. Wally Underpants

President and CEO of Wal-Mart Complaint Department

------------------------------------------------------------------------


MEMO

Re: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - 15 Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done
while his spouse/partner is shopping:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest
rooms.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone,
Code 3' in House wares..... And watched what happened.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
lay away.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding
department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to
cry and asks, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked
the clerk if he knows where the anti depressants are.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"

And; last, but not least!)

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

[Dennis]

I love it.

[Basslet]

I hate shopping too. Am I the only woman in America who does? In some ways, I'm looking forward to my son getting his driver's license. I'll give him a list and a debit card, and he can get the groceries. And go buy his own clothes. etc.

[Latitude Adjustment]

Last night while food shopping some guy took my cart, I should have left him keep it and his wife wouldn't let him going shopping alone anymore.

[Blackhawk]

Last night while food shopping some guy took my cart, I should have left him keep it and his wife wouldn't let him going shopping alone anymore.

When I was with my HEX I got out of shopping a differnt way. I made her shopping exetermly miserable

I did this through saying stuff like.. "God that's ugly", "Don't you have enough of those?!?!", "You're going to pay how much for that? You know we can probably get that online...", "WoW, look at her...", "We've already been through this Isle 10 times you didn't find what you were looking for the first 9 why are we here again?", and my favorite "Are you done yet? I have better things to do then pretend I'm enjoying myself"

She soon stopped taking me...

Then again there is a reason she is an EX

[Scubatooth]

this is the one of those things that i definately dont understand about some women is like blackhawk said everything in the store at least once and then does it again, and then wonders why i have a bored stiff look on my face(thank goodness its only been a couple of times).

For me shopping is easy i know what i want ahead of time i find out who has it and who has the best price i go in get and get out in short order, and in most cases i can get it online for less and i dont have to go out and get it.

last time i went into a mall to shop was a year ago and the trip took less then 30 minutes for 3 prs of shorts and a pair of shoes.

[Piz]

All points above are very funny. I might even try some just for fun. I particulaly like the alarm clock one.

Having said that, I actually enjoy shopping. Like Scubatooth I normally know what I want when I go shopping for a particular item but I have been known to go shopping for the hell of it and sometime I buy something, sometimes not. The SO loves it. The only thing I wont go shopping for with her is shoes. Other than that I will shop for anything. Now that might sound wierd for a bloke, but I really don't care. The best part about it is not only do I get to go shopping for cloths etc, but I also get to shop for tools, dive gear, car stuff, and all other blokey stuff as well.

So if you look at realisticly all you guys do go shopping as well. Ask yourself, how long will you spend in a dive store or hardware store just ferreting around looking at everything. Next time you go take your other half and see what happens. My guess is she will relate to difference between a 20oz claw hammer, 32oz ball pein hammer and a 8oz tack hammer the same way you relate to the 3 red dresses she tried on the other day. They all create a differnt impact.

[IndyScott]

Sign me up!! Lol
Scott

[Brinybay]

I hate shopping too. Am I the only woman in America who does? In some ways, I'm looking forward to my son getting his driver's license. I'll give him a list and a debit card, and he can get the groceries. And go buy his own clothes. etc.

Hmmm, I already have a driver's license, would you adopt me? I'd probably head to the lds rather than a clothing store though...

[Twinklez]

Last night while food shopping some guy took my cart, I should have left him keep it and his wife wouldn't let him going shopping alone anymore.

Why's that LA? What was in your cart?

[Twinklez]

Would any of you think badly of me if I told you that I've personally witnessed #'s 1, 2, 9, 11 & 13 ?

No, I didn't participate, but I did giggle a bit...while telling my sons to stop of course.

Never a dull moment raising three boys on my own. I miss those days...well, some parts of those days.

[Capn Jack]

Mine stopped bringing me when I started picking up as many boxes of Trojan XLs as I could carry, then walk through the store next to her.

[cmt489]

Only shopping I ever subjected my ex to was grocery shopping - I figured since he ate 9/10 of the food, he could push the cart. Other than that, why on earth would I possibly have wanted him to know what I bought and how much it cost!

[madlobster]

JUST SAY NO!

[Parrotman]

start loading up the cart with all kinds of junk while exclaiming how much fun it is. Pick out some really ugly knick knacks etc and talk about how good that will look on the coffee table. It does'nt take more than once or twice and you won't be invited along anymore.