33 replies to this topic

[jeff]

I am a nice quiet guy with a job and house and believe I would be a good friend and husband if given the chance.

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago, the night went great with honest get to know each other questions and conversations. We have alot in common.

She has two kids that were off for the holiday vacation and is starting a new term in school, so she is busy now that they are back home, and she is moving at the end of the month.

She rainchecked the next day movie date. Hasn't returned any phone calls, when she says that she would, and hasen't been replying to any emails lately. She emailed after we met saying that we would be great friends.

I have been trying to play it cool and slow and understanding about a full schedule, but my mind is going insane wondering if I have said something wrong.

**do you women tell guys you like them and then never respond back??
**can a single student/mom be soo busy to even call/email with a new guy??

thank you for your help
jeff

[annasea]

**do you women tell guys you like them and then never respond back??

Personally, I don't, but I reckon there are plenty of women (and men) that do.

**can a single student/mom be soo busy to even call/email with a new guy??

I'm not a single student/mom, so I can't honestly answer but my guess is if she were really interested, she'd at least email back letting you know that now is not a good time to get together, but hopefully sometime soon in the future.

I don't want to pry, but where did you meet this woman, Jeff? (If you met her on a dating site, for example, she may be meeting new men regularly and is *sampling* before she decides who she'd like to spend more time with. )

As for saying something wrong, I highly doubt you did. You sound like a very good man... if not this woman, I'm sure there'll be others.

[jeff]

she liked one of my pictures online and we replyed back a million times that night and met a couple hours later; so its only physically been one evening.

Edited by jeff, 10 January 2007 - 10:57 PM.

[annasea]

As suggested earlier, she may have just been *sampling*. There's no real use in speculating since only she knows the answer, so if I were you, as difficult as it may be, I'd let it go. Go diving instead.

[Walter]

I met a girl a couple of weeks ago, the night went great with honest get to know each other questions and conversations. We have alot in common.

Stop listening to your mother for dating advice. Be funny, be confident, don't give her too many compliments, don't conduct a job interview.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.

Edited by Walter, 11 January 2007 - 06:04 AM.

[mantarraya]

As suggested earlier, she may have just been *sampling*.

Think you got it right. Plus, if she was interested, she would return your call or respond to emails, even if it was short.

[secretsea18]

Jeff,

Sorry to hear of your woes. I guess it is really no different for men as for women. When they are really into you, you know because you get email, phone calls, etc, regardless of how busy they are. Unfortunately, some folks do the disappearing act when they are not as interested in the other person. Good luck with future dating...

[matts1w]

When she didnt call or email back she told you clear as day. That's how it works, especially in the online dating world.

I am not saying it is right, but that is how it works. Let it go.

[cmt489]

I hate to tell you but many of us women are just as guilty as men in simply failing to respond instead of telling someone that we may not be interested in the same thing. Heck, I have to admit to being guilty of this. If she wants to get back in touch with you, she knows how. You have left the last messages so the ball is in her court. If she truly is busy, she will get back to you letting you know this. In the meantime, however, I would not waste my time on her and I would explore all the other wonderful opportunities that are out there. You sound like a great guy and I am sure there are plenty of women the would love to get to know you better!

[scubagirl]

If she didn't call or respond to emails and said "we can be great friends", she is not interested. Simple as that. You didn't say anything wrong or did anything wrong. She just isn't into you. Practice my motto....NEXT!

[Brinybay]

Face it, at best, you're going to come in third place or fourth place behind her kids and school. Cut your losses and move on. Personally, I would never even consider a woman in that situation. Not because she isn't a nice lady, she probably is, but I've met plenty of single women with no kids or academic commitments who say they want a relationship but they treat it only as an after-thought, everything else comes first.

P.S. I'm obviously not a woman, but yes, woman will suddenly drop off the face of the earth and quit responding if they don't want to pursue the relationship, just like men do. I recently had a lady friend (former co-worker, strictly platonic) who did that. I even went to the trouble to find out if she had been sick or in the hospital or perhaps out of town (she has connections in Italy). Her roommate confirmed she was fine and had not been anywhere. Doesn't return my calls, doesn't respond to inquiries and notes I left at her place - ok, I get the message. I don't understand, but I do get the message.

My philosophy is I don't have time for people (male or female) who don't have time for me, and that includes blood relations. That really narrows it down to a few quality relationships, and it works well for me. Life is too short to waste my time with bozos.

[drbill]

I'm sure glad I'm direct and communicative (perhaps a bit too direct, eh C?)... and some women accuse us males of not communicating! Yes, I know, men do it, too... but I don't.

[Walter]

I just reread your original post. What do you mean when you said, "She rainchecked the next day movie date."?

If I ask a woman out for (as an example) Friday and she replies with something along the lines of, "I'm busy Friday, how about Saturday?" then it I either accept her proposal (if possible) or suggest a third day. If she turns down the invitation without offering an alternate date, I know she's not interested. I don't ask again. Move on. Women don't like to crush your ego (OK, so a few rare ones do, but they aren't worth your time anyway), so they will rarely turn you down honestly, they'll usually make excuses. There are exceptions, but this is what usually happens. They don't see it as being dishonest, they see it as sparing your feelings.

[jeff]

Thank you everybody for replying.

She did email back saying she was busy with her kids, homework, driving around a friend, I wish I was that committed when I was in school.

hey baby whats your sign, mines a libra if you believe in that sort of thing which means that I can understand all sides of an issue; makes it hard to stand for one thing.

I have been waiting all of my life, another couple of weeks is another couple of paychecks for some-her or diving, which ever comes first.

I like the line in the ______ "let your yes be yes, and your no be no" it sure would make life easier.

thank you all

[annasea]

I'm glad she got back to you, Jeff! Best of luck to you.