I too feel very strongly about self-rescue. As do my regular buddies. However, the benefit to diving the way we do (in my opinion) is that we don't "have to" do self rescue, it is merely our option. I'll give an example.
Two buddies and I were doing a dive in a popular spot called "Manatee Springs". At this spot there is a cave entrance with wicked flow coming out. We decided to take turns seeing if we could simply poke our head into the hole. It was like swimming into the end of a fire hose. One of my buddies tried first. The third buddy and myself positioned ourselves at his flank, each with our hands on our regulators in case the flow knocked the regulator out of the lead diver's mouth. Now he was perfectly capable of grabbing his backup around his neck, but as "good buddies", it was our responsibility to prepare ourselves to assist should we be needed. In the end, we were not needed, and each diver took a turn at trying this little stunt. We were all comforted by the fact that if anything were to go wrong, we had help right next to us.
In cruising in the caves, our lights play together. In a team of three, our lights form a triangle, or with four a diamond. If one of the lights should suddenly fall out of place, we know to check on our buddy. There is no need to turn around, crane our neck, or slow down to see if anyone needs assistance. We know immediately if there is a problem. When doing valve drills, we signal our buddies, and begin. Each buddies is about 4ft away, in front of the diver doing the shutdowns, with their hands on their regs, ready to donate should assistance be required.
In the quiet of the caves, we can hear each other breathe. We become in tune with the breathing rythm of the other divers and we know if someone's breathing pattern quickens, or suddenly isn't there when it should be. Again, we try to keep emergency response inside 10 seconds, and usually shorter than that.
These are not "rules" we dive by. No one has told us to dive this way, though this kind of awareness and buddy assistance is fundamental to the DIR concept. But we adopted this idea of simply being there for each other and knowing we can put our lives in the hands of each other. It's a huge mentality shift that people tend to mistake for reliance on someone else. Nothing could be further from the truth.
As I stated previously, this is problematic for most diving buddies. The concept of "team diving" is not accepted, and is seen by some as a hindrance. I am enjoying hearing how other people approach their diving. Everything from solo, to same ocean, to tight buddy groups.
Great discussion so far.
I feel very strongly in always being able to self rescue given my preferred diving stated above. Most of the buddies I dive with I met 10 minutes before the dive. (The curse of the Single Diver) I have not been trained nor do I have any interest in caves and/or wreck penetration and I hate cold dark water. I am sure the porcedures and rules are different and I respect that. I will not wait for someone to "rescue me" as you discuss above. My life is in my hands. If I run out of air then that is kind of a Darwinian correction that I deserve. Regs just don't fail and if they do they do not lock up. They free flow or blow a gasket or gradually shut down. In either event a good amount of warning before you are sucking on a airless reg. If that happens bolt for the nearest person or head for the surface.
I present this to spur discussion and have some fun with this topic. We all have to guage our risk tolerance. We all live somewhere between "never leave the porch" and "running with the big dogs" and I am just offering up what I see in real life. I am quite sure that there are divers who always have their snorkel and are never more that arm's reach from their buddy but they are not on any of the dive boats I have been on recently.
Fred