Ok I've heard this 3 times now and am getting pretty damn frustated...
"You're never at home and I need someone whose willing to stay at home with his family."
So some way some how (mostly by me telling them) the fact that I tend to not stay home comes out. And I get the response above (this is the third time). They don't bother asking me what I'm doing or how I'd feel about changing it they just assume I'd continue the same pace....
The simple fact is I'm never at home because I have no reason to be at home! I can currently choose between being unhappy at home sitting on my ass watching tv alone and going out training and in general enjoying my life. I choose to go out! Doesn't mean I won't choose to stay home WHEN I have a family!! $%#% QV#$POUT#Q )$
So ladies why the @#$@$@ do you want me to lead a married life when I'm single?
Need some input on a common message...
Started by
Blackhawk
, May 09 2007 06:15 AM
14 replies to this topic
#1
Blackhawk
-
- Member
-
- 265 posts
People are starting to get to know me
- Gender:Male
Posted 09 May 2007 - 06:15 AM
I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the aikipokey and throw you all about 
#2
shadragon
-
- Member
-
- 3,055 posts
Tech Admin
- Location:On De Island...
- Gender:Male
- Cert Level:MSD / DM / Solo
- Logged Dives:534' ish
Posted 09 May 2007 - 06:41 AM
Do what you want to do, when you want to do it. If someone cannot accept you and your life as it is then you have the wrong lady. Live your life for you, not for someone else. When you find the right one it will work and you will both be happy.Ok I've heard this 3 times now and am getting pretty damn frustrated...
Cheers.
Remember, email is an inefficient communications forum. You may not read things the way it was intended. Give people the benefit of the doubt before firing back... Especially if it is ME...! 
Tech Support - The hard we do right away; the impossible takes us a little longer...
"I like ponies on no-stop diving. They convert "ARGH!! I'M GOING TO DIE" into a mere annoyance." ~Nigel Hewitt
Tech Support - The hard we do right away; the impossible takes us a little longer...
"I like ponies on no-stop diving. They convert "ARGH!! I'M GOING TO DIE" into a mere annoyance." ~Nigel Hewitt
#3
scubagalpal
-
- Member
-
- 91 posts
On a roll now.....
- Location:Deerfield Beach, FL
- Gender:Female
- Cert Level:MSDT
- Logged Dives:2500 +
Posted 09 May 2007 - 07:39 AM
Hey Blackhawke, I feel your pain. I get a different variation of the same theme. I travel frequently during the week for business and when I'm not traveling, I plan fun things for me to do. I work out, I dive, I hang with my friends - I stay busy. There's no reason to stay home when you live alone. Then on the off chance I meet someone, they find my schedule untennable. I don't cancel things I've preplanned but I am willing to plan new things to meet new friends and incorporate them into my life. Its just getting a chance to do so. I just go on the belief that when the right person comes along, things will work out. In the meantime, I can't see the point in just stting home waiting for something to happen. I certainly won't meet anyone there. And if I keep doing the things I enjoy, I'm more likely to meet someone with whom I share a common interest.
Hang in there!
Hang in there!
#4
Latitude Adjustment
-
- Member
-
- 2,658 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:Work in and live near Lakehurst, NJ
- Gender:Male
- Cert Level:EanX
- Logged Dives:600+
Posted 09 May 2007 - 07:40 AM
Ok I've heard this 3 times now and am getting pretty damn frustated...
"You're never at home and I need someone whose willing to stay at home with his family."
And where were these woman asking you this question, I'm guessing they were out too!
Other than Jehovah witnesses, they never come knocking on my door looking for a home body! Well there was this one time the day I was moving in that a neighoor and her very pregnant daughter came to welcome me to the neighborhood, the look on my fathers face was priceless!
I, Latitude Adjustment (insert log in name), do hereby swear, (politely), that I shall not hold SingleDivers, (SD), nor any SD poster, (real or imagined), liable, nor shall I seek legal restitution, (real or imagined), for any perceived, (real or imagined), offenses I may incur, (or Incurrrrrrrrrr on talk like a pirate day), that may or may not be posted on this or any SCUBA related board, (real or imagined), by anyone, (real or imagined), anywhere, (real or imagined). Further, I void any right to privacy, (real or imagined), as it may, or may not relate to any posting, (real or imagined), about me, to me, for me, because of me, all about me, my dog, my cat, my bird, my monkey, my family, (real or imagined), my friends, (real or imagined), or my world, (real or imagined).
By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
_________________________________________(log in name signature)
Signed and Dated
By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
_________________________________________(log in name signature)
Signed and Dated
#5
Guest_PlatypusMan_*
Guest_PlatypusMan_*
-
- Guests
Posted 09 May 2007 - 08:00 AM
Ok I've heard this 3 times now and am getting pretty damn frustated...
"You're never at home and I need someone whose willing to stay at home with his family."
...So ladies why the @#$@$@ do you want me to lead a married life when I'm single?
They don't.
It's an excuse. They aren't willing to tell you what the real, underlying reason is why they're not into you--it's a means of avoiding confrontation (it's not you, it's the circumstances).
Their loss...someone else's gain. Live YOUR life and move on.
Sparky
...when PlatyMan's away, I get to play!...
Edited by PlatypusMan, 09 May 2007 - 08:00 AM.
#6
BeachBunny
-
- Member
-
- 1,265 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:DFW
- Gender:Female
- Cert Level:Nitrox
- Logged Dives:Not enough but I am working on it!
Posted 09 May 2007 - 08:15 AM
Ok I've heard this 3 times now and am getting pretty damn frustated...
"You're never at home and I need someone whose willing to stay at home with his family."
...So ladies why the @#$@$@ do you want me to lead a married life when I'm single?
They don't.
It's an excuse. They aren't willing to tell you what the real, underlying reason is why they're not into you--it's a means of avoiding confrontation (it's not you, it's the circumstances).
Their loss...someone else's gain. Live YOUR life and move on.
Sparky
...when PlatyMan's away, I get to play!...
I agree....Platy just beat me to the post. People change and accomodate when they start dating someone, and they know this because they do it to!! Move it along, there is nothing to see here, move it along!
"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different" CoCo Chanel
beachbunny@singledivers.com
"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
Ghandi
beachbunny@singledivers.com
"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
Ghandi
#7
cmt489
-
- Member
-
- 4,346 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:Vancouver, BC
- Gender:Female
- Cert Level:AOW, Nitrox
- Logged Dives:75+
Posted 09 May 2007 - 09:01 AM
Blackhawk, you must know very different women than I do. I don't know of anyone who would have issues like this. It is not as though they want you home with them - just home. Perhaps they have security issues. In any event, live your life and find someone who fits who you are.
#8
Brinybay
-
- Inactive
-
- 1,605 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:Seattle, Wa.
- Gender:Male
- Cert Level:Rescue, Nitrox
- Logged Dives:580
Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:50 AM
I agree with the responses so far. I gave up trying to accomodate objections. I've had the same responses just because I have an odd work schedule (work weekends, mid-week days off). I'm not about to go back to 9-5 M-F office work just to please someone. My response to the ones who expect me to be a home-body is "bye, have a nice life!" FWIW, I do enjoy vegging out at home on occasion, but only on occasion. But mostly, I would rather be diving (or something).
"The cure for anything is saltwater--sweat, tears, or the sea." - Isak Dinesen
"A good marriage is like an interlocking neurosis, where the rocks in one person's head fill up the holes in the other's."
"A good marriage is like an interlocking neurosis, where the rocks in one person's head fill up the holes in the other's."
#9
Blackhawk
-
- Member
-
- 265 posts
People are starting to get to know me
- Gender:Male
Posted 09 May 2007 - 11:56 AM
I agree with the responses so far. I gave up trying to accomodate objections. I've had the same responses just because I have an odd work schedule (work weekends, mid-week days off). I'm not about to go back to 9-5 M-F office work just to please someone. My response to the ones who expect me to be a home-body is "bye, have a nice life!" FWIW, I do enjoy vegging out at home on occasion, but only on occasion. But mostly, I would rather be diving (or something).
I'm not looking at changing just trying to figure out what the hell they're thinking. (Yeah I know the worst mistake a guy can make...)
I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the aikipokey and throw you all about
#10
Cold_H2O
-
- Member
-
- 2,498 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:PNW gal living in Texas ~ Its weird
- Gender:Female
- Logged Dives:lost count but back to keeping a log.
Posted 09 May 2007 - 01:45 PM
They sound controlling if you ask me.
I have the same issue. I am busy.. I like to be busy.
I make plans to do things with friends and family and try very hard to not break any plans.
I had a guy ask me out a few years ago.. he couldn't believe that he had to wait over a week for me to fit him in.
I wasn't being difficult he just ask me during a very busy time.
Between my work, work, dive plans and family plans the first free night I had was almost 2 weeks from the time he ask me out.
When he got upset it was a clear sign that he was not a guy I could date.
He even gave me a lecture on how did I expect to have a man in my life if I refused to make time for one.
I wasted no time in telling him that it was obvious that he needed a woman who could devote a lot more time to him than I could and that my life was what it was and he didn't need to wait around for me or ask me out again.
Now for a guy I am interested in or an activity I really want to do...SOMETIMES I can make adjustments.
Not always but I do when I can. I am very honest about it and don't tell lies or play games.
My life is MINE... I make time for the people and things that I care about.
If someone new comes along I will adjust to make room for them in my life.
I will not sit at home and do nothing while I wait and I will not dump my friends or activities to please a man.
A quality person understands this and does not expect or demand it from another.
Now if you are dating and all of a sudden the other person has no time for you and it continues for a period of time that is another story...
Sorry for the rant but it really annoys me when I hear stories like this one...
I have the same issue. I am busy.. I like to be busy.
I make plans to do things with friends and family and try very hard to not break any plans.
I had a guy ask me out a few years ago.. he couldn't believe that he had to wait over a week for me to fit him in.
I wasn't being difficult he just ask me during a very busy time.
Between my work, work, dive plans and family plans the first free night I had was almost 2 weeks from the time he ask me out.
When he got upset it was a clear sign that he was not a guy I could date.
He even gave me a lecture on how did I expect to have a man in my life if I refused to make time for one.
I wasted no time in telling him that it was obvious that he needed a woman who could devote a lot more time to him than I could and that my life was what it was and he didn't need to wait around for me or ask me out again.
Now for a guy I am interested in or an activity I really want to do...SOMETIMES I can make adjustments.
Not always but I do when I can. I am very honest about it and don't tell lies or play games.
My life is MINE... I make time for the people and things that I care about.
If someone new comes along I will adjust to make room for them in my life.
I will not sit at home and do nothing while I wait and I will not dump my friends or activities to please a man.
A quality person understands this and does not expect or demand it from another.
Now if you are dating and all of a sudden the other person has no time for you and it continues for a period of time that is another story...
Sorry for the rant but it really annoys me when I hear stories like this one...
Well Behave Women Rarely Make History ~ Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Formerly known as gis_gal and name tattoo'd for a small bribe!
Formerly known as gis_gal and name tattoo'd for a small bribe!
#11
pir8
-
- Premier Member
-
- 1,670 posts
Dive Pros Forum Admin
- Location:Philadelphia
- Gender:Male
- Cert Level:MI
- Logged Dives:Lost Track of um
Posted 09 May 2007 - 02:02 PM
Honestly I can't imagine wanting to sit around the house or for that matter wanting to be with someone that wanted to just sit around the house all the time. Question, were these women that wanted you to stay at home all the time divers?
Never say Never! Its almost as long a time as always!
#12
Walter
-
- Member
-
- 7,549 posts
I need to get a life
- Location:Lehigh Acres, Florida
- Gender:Male
- Cert Level:Instructor
- Logged Dives:4 digits
Posted 09 May 2007 - 03:10 PM
I can currently choose between being unhappy at home
There is the problem. Don't be unhappy. A woman will not make you happy, she can add to your happiness, but she can't make you happy. If you are not happy with yourself, you show you aren't happy and women aren't going to want to be with you. Start being happy and they'll see you as someone with whom they'd like to spend time.
No single raindrop believes it is responsible for the flood.
DSSW,
WWW™
DSSW,
WWW™
#13
Starfish Sandy
-
- Member
-
- 2,323 posts
I spend too much time on line
- Location:Islip, New York
- Gender:Female
- Cert Level:aow, nitrox
- Logged Dives:600+
Posted 09 May 2007 - 03:24 PM
I can currently choose between being unhappy at home
There is the problem. Don't be unhappy. A woman will not make you happy, she can add to your happiness, but she can't make you happy. If you are not happy with yourself, you show you aren't happy and women aren't going to want to be with you. Start being happy and they'll see you as someone with whom they'd like to spend time.
Well put Walter!
Known puker
#14
pocahontas
-
- Member
-
- 318 posts
People are starting to get to know me
- Location:NJ
- Gender:Female
- Cert Level:AOW
- Logged Dives:165
Posted 09 May 2007 - 08:52 PM
Are you saying that you are truly unhappy at home or are you saying that sitting around doing nothing doesn't make you happy? There is a big difference.I can currently choose between being unhappy at home
There is the problem. Don't be unhappy. A woman will not make you happy, she can add to your happiness, but she can't make you happy. If you are not happy with yourself, you show you aren't happy and women aren't going to want to be with you. Start being happy and they'll see you as someone with whom they'd like to spend time.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods - Robert. Frost
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods - Robert. Frost
#15
Blackhawk
-
- Member
-
- 265 posts
People are starting to get to know me
- Gender:Male
Posted 10 May 2007 - 06:48 AM
Are you saying that you are truly unhappy at home or are you saying that sitting around doing nothing doesn't make you happy? There is a big difference.
Ah you hit the nail on the head. I'm not actually unhappy. I'd just rather not be there right now
. I have better things to do then sitting at home wasting my life watching TV.
I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the aikipokey and throw you all about
0 user(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users
