I'll start.
Many moons ago, when I was still in my late 20s, I was still attending church (I don't anymore) and involved in the singles group. I accepted a Christmas invitation from another guy in the group to spend with his family. He had a couple sisters around my age who were involved with the same church and singles group. I suspect the real reason for the invitation was to try to get me interested in the spinster daughters, but that's another story.
Big mistake. I don't recall feeling so bored and so trapped. I was dying for a beer or a drink, but there wasn't any. The only "entertainment" was the Uncle watching reruns of Lawrence Welk. Kids running wild and being an irritation. It was like a very prolonged wait in the lobby of a Dr's office, it was that bad, so I picked up a magazine that was on the coffee table, I think it was a Reader's Digest. A Polaroid picture fell out of the magazine. I couldn't believe what I saw in the picture. It was a picture of the guy's mother, naked, sitting spread-eagled on a blanket. In the background I could see part of the camping trailer that was now parked in the driveway. WHOA, MY EYES!!
Obviously taken by Pa during a camping trip. Just my luck that it was a naked picture of a woman in her 60s. Not to mention being disillusioned because this was supposed to be a nice, church-going lady!! I discreetly put the picture back in the magazine and put it back on the coffee table. I summoned my friend and told him about it. He quickly retrieved the picture and scolded his parents. Highlight of the evening was we all gathered around the piano and sung hymns out of tune. Not Christmas carols, which I enjoy, just regular gospel tunes, boring ones at that. As soon as I could make an excuse to leave w/o seeming rude, I made my escape. I went home and cracked open a beer, it never tasted so good!Fast forward a few years to my late 40s. I had a girlfriend who had a best friend and we went to best friend's family's place for Thanksgiving. Ok, I'm not a "neat freak", but sheesh, if you're going to have guests, at least make the place presentable! There were old newspapers and magazines stacked everywhere, even on the couch. We couldn't use the dining table because of stacks of unread mail and other clutter. Not even any TV trays to use. I managed to find a chair and ate dinner with my plate in my lap, which I hate doing.
This was done in the living room. The TV and video player were in the living room. Best friend's Mom is a big fan of Daniel O'Donnell. Mom played her collection of Daniel O'Donnell videos, of which she had only two, non-stop, one right after the other, repeat the process, the whole evening. Sorry, but I'm not impressed by this guy. He sings only OK, but it's not on the level of a performer, IMO. And his corny "Lawrence Welk" style makes me cringe. It was all I could do to keep from bursting out laughing when he tried to do a very lame "Elvis" type of impersonation for one song, lest Mom get her feelings hurt, best friend gets upset, and consequently girlfriend would too.
I think of these two Holidays in Hell every time I'm alone on a holiday.
