The Hormone Guide
Women will understand this!
Men should memorize it!
Every woman knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!
DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: WOW, you sure look good in brown!
SAFEST: WOW, Look at you!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Whatare you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's my paycheck
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
DANGEROUS: What did you DO all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't over-do it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRA SAFE: Here, have some wine.
13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12.. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one :
13. Potential Murder Suspect
The Hormone Guide
Started by
Landlocked Dive Nut
, Apr 14 2009 08:11 AM
13 replies to this topic
#1
Landlocked Dive Nut
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:11 AM
#2
Neptuner
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:32 AM
Too funny Miss Tammy! I think you could make a fortune if you made a handy pocket translator for every possible scenario that might come up... there are a lot of dumb men out there!
TheScubaCowboy
Buy the special SingleDivers.com version of my SCUBA MUSIC CD "Just A Scuba Cowboy" here for only $15 with savings on multiple copies... each one is personally autographed and it's the perfect gift for divers and non-divers alike!
#3
bowjunkie
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:33 AM
I need to stock up on WINE
"But a Constitution of Government once changed from Freedom, can never be restored. Liberty, once lost, is lost forever."
- John Adams, 2nd President of the United States
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under..'- Ronald Reagan
- John Adams, 2nd President of the United States
'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under..'- Ronald Reagan
#4
ScubaTex
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 12:43 PM
NO WHINERS ALLOWED!!!!
I know, I know, PMS #1
I know, I know, PMS #1
Time on earth is precious, time underwater even more so. Live life one day at a time. Dive your @$$ off!!!
#5
pmarie
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 05:27 PM
That was great!! I enjoyed reading that.
#6
ScubaShafer
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 05:33 PM
Hmmmm. I had always thought that PMS stood for: Puting up with Men's S**t!
It's a GR8 day to be alive!
"Good things come to those who wait." Heinz - 1980s
"Good things come to those who wait." Guinness - 1990s
"Good things come to those with weights." ScubaShafer - 2008
"Good things come to those who wait." Heinz - 1980s
"Good things come to those who wait." Guinness - 1990s
"Good things come to those with weights." ScubaShafer - 2008
#7
justscuba
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 06:42 PM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
#8
Landlocked Dive Nut
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:11 PM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
Marty, just make sure it's a potent vintage! Just to be safe, keep a bottle of red, white and zin handy. Ya never know which will work on any given day!
#9
pir8
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 08:39 PM
Sounds to me like the only answer you need to memorize is the ultra safe method
Never say Never! Its almost as long a time as always!
#10
Landlocked Dive Nut
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Posted 14 April 2009 - 09:02 PM
Sounds to me like the only answer you need to memorize is the ultra safe method
Yep, and simple to memorize! Your fiance is gonna love that attitude, pir8!
#11
justscuba
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Posted 15 April 2009 - 06:26 AM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
OK OK I will just come out and ask What kink of wine do you like? Now you know where I am going with this.
#12
pmarie
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Posted 15 April 2009 - 12:15 PM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
I am ever so fond of Caymus, preferably 2006 Cab.....
#13
lynnlchan
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Posted 15 April 2009 - 01:42 PM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
OK OK I will just come out and ask What kink of wine do you like? Now you know where I am going with this.
Um, I don't.
Am I the only one?
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, we're drowning on dry land.
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, jump in and take my hand. --Gaelic Storm, Scalliwag
Come on and wade way out into the water with me, jump in and take my hand. --Gaelic Storm, Scalliwag
#14
justscuba
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Posted 16 April 2009 - 05:52 AM
I like wine but should I only get one kind or different one for different times of the year, month, day, hour, min......you know what I mean. lol
OK OK I will just come out and ask What kink of wine do you like? Now you know where I am going with this.
Um, I don't.
With your looks your should have lots of guys taking you to nice dinners and lots of wine. So when and where....by the way can we make it a diving dinner? LOL
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