Jump to content

  • These forums are for "after booking" trip communications, socializing, and/or trip questions ONLY.
  • You will NOT be able to book a trip, buy add-ons, or manage your trip by logging in here. Please login HERE to do any of those things.

Photo

Commercial diver meets...?


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 Greg@ihpil

Greg@ihpil

    I spend too much time on line

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,046 posts
  • Location:West suburb of Chi twn
  • Gender:Male
  • Cert Level:MSD. PADI ,Nitrox -SDI
  • Logged Dives:225

Posted 14 April 2013 - 09:21 AM

I was going thru my joke file & came upon this one...
I LOVE MY JOB


If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana
He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in
Indiana, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.
Read his letter below...


Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.
Last week I had a bad day at the office.
I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job.
As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wet suit. This time of year the water is quite cool.
So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.
This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.
It heats it to a delightful temperature.
It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

This floods my whole suit with warm water.
It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch.
So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my ass started to burn.
I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.
Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it, however, the crack of my ass was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my ass. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically.


Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh-- for two days because my ass was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ass.
Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'
Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?

May you NEVER have a jellyfish bad day! !!!!

Greg
: Posted Image
E= pluribus Forum Enjoy the view. ,Do unto others:respect

#2 little mermaid

little mermaid

    I need to get a life

  • Admin
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 5,758 posts
  • Location:Golden, Colorado
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:AOW / Rescue
  • Logged Dives:Over 400

Posted 14 April 2013 - 05:34 PM

Now that's a baaaaaad day!!!

#3 WreckWench

WreckWench

    Founder? I didn't know we lost her!

  • Owner
  • PipPipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 53,615 posts
  • Location:FL SC & Dallas, TX
  • Gender:Female
  • Cert Level:DM & Technical certs
  • Logged Dives:5000+

Posted 14 April 2013 - 05:52 PM

No matter how many times I read that I laugh out loud. Its as much the WAY the story is told as it is the story itself!

Great relief on the eve of tax day...

Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !

Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!

Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906

#4 Greg@ihpil

Greg@ihpil

    I spend too much time on line

  • Member
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 1,046 posts
  • Location:West suburb of Chi twn
  • Gender:Male
  • Cert Level:MSD. PADI ,Nitrox -SDI
  • Logged Dives:225

Posted 15 April 2013 - 05:48 AM

Glad you all were amused...
Greg
: Posted Image
E= pluribus Forum Enjoy the view. ,Do unto others:respect

#5 Scubatooth

Scubatooth

    I spend too much time on line

  • SD Partners
  • PipPipPipPipPipPip
  • 2,682 posts
  • Location:Plano, Texas
  • Gender:Male
  • Board Status:Omnes Qui Errant Non Pereunt!
  • Cert Level:Rec: DM -- Tec: Ext Range
  • Logged Dives:500+

Posted 16 April 2013 - 04:11 AM

... oldie but a goodie. I could equal that with some tales from the booboo bus butt I wont ... go there!

A Novus Dies Has Adveho.... Occupo Dies

Where in the World is Tooth? ... Catch Me It You Can!

Traveling the World, Diving, and Photography, on my days off from saving lives as a Paramedic





0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users