16 replies to this topic

[DMP]

Ummmm…where to start…Fore scores 7 years, oh yeah that’s history. Some have asked what I do for a living besides diving. I sometimes reply, “I breathe”, a job and ect…. So here it is the way I see it (of course because your not here). My typical day starts at 0600 (6:00 a.m. for those who can’t comprehend the 24 hr system) start coffee, do physical training (push-ups, sit-ups and, 5 mile run. I wonder if that is why I don’t look like the Stay Puff Marsh mellow Man). Then off to work a 20minute drive with people you would swear got their license from god knows where, they make turn signals for a reason I think. I sit at a desk doing interviews and discussing possible future goals with all walks of life. Imagine sitting and listening to a teen with a GPA of 1.65 saying he is going to college cause he is going to be a doctor, one has to wonder what guidance counselors are really doing. After doing the interview and he likes what he is shown and agrees to enlist for a couple years an agreement is made. I am off to run a comprehensive background check; yeah I have that power to look into lives (and not the Wonder Twin type either). If you ever need a laugh (ok some might not see it this way, my apology) go to the police station and sit and observe what goes on. While there I had the privilege of a parent coming in to pick her son up for a MVA, typical teen driver runs stop sign and hits somebody. They tell her she cannot sign for him because, he is being held for possession (every parents nightmare right?). She goes off demanding to see the chief; he comes out and explains the entire deal to her. Not her son, she states he’s in college and he would never do that…One has to wonder about today’s parents and siblings, are we that blind? I sit and chuckle…her husband and her need a Seeing Eye dog real soon. Then back to work to do the tedious job of paperwork, funny you go automated and use more paper than what you used to. Try filling out 4 forms with the same information but have a different name to them (intelligence/common sense is an oxymoron) or, have a meeting twice before the real meeting covering the same thing. Then I make what I call the comedy hour phone calls. You with teens have experienced it at times at all times of the day and night, hey don’t bite my head off, I would prefer to be doing a night dive or be at the movies. Then when all said and done it is time to go home (sometimes I wonder what that is) it is around 2100 (9:00 p.m.) or later than that because somebody has a wild hair up their you know what. So, by now you probably have a good feel for what my job is. I didn’t ask for it, I was happy jumping out of planes in the pitch dark and meeting different cultures. By the way if the farmer that lives near Ft. Polk, LA I am truly sorry for crashing into your chicken coupe in the middle of the night, scaring your coon dog away and, scaring your wife while wearing all that camouflage on me. It’s the pilots fault, honest I swear(that is a different story).

[bluedolphin]

HI DMP

This should probably under welcomes and new members, but no matter it is here. Have you ever considered Stand Up Comedy when you retire?

Linda

[DMP]

Naw, I plan to dive and instruct...a book sounds good though. Oh yeah, I was picked to do this job, not my cup o tea if you know what I mean.

[Diverbrian]

Yep, we dreaded being "chosen" for recruiting duty as well when we were used to the slightly "less language restricted" culture on the submarine. Good story!

[DMP]

And the saga goes on......

So there I was (fitting sorta like, “One time at band camp”), sitting in the CP (Command Post/Office) after being paged in at 0200 trying to get my faculties together, body begging for caffeine after lugging my ruck of 80# from a parking lot 100yds away from there. Mind you this is the third time in a week that they had done this all at varying times 0100, 0400 and now 0200 (not my idea of humor, buy me an ice cream). Then the bat phone rings, time to go to the CO’s (commander) office for the briefing. My bud and I trudge over there with the status, not having time to make a new pot of coffee, I heated up some from the day before (hey it’s not bad, I was saving tax payers money). We were not a happy group of people , according to the news nobody was picking on anyone so why the alert? I get picked on because I was the only one with coffee (nobody picks on the medical people), so I politely tell them that all the shot records are gone and that they all needed new shots (you wanna see a grown man twinge tell’em they need shots). CO comes in tells us to grab our gear and move to the dispersing area we will be briefed on the aircraft. We move but not to our usual haunt, this time it is the isolation area, my bud and I look at each other in disbelief (we’re not in Kansas anymore Toto ) we get additional gear there now the ruck weighs 98# and given already loaded mags(fun). Ok we sit and wait till mid afternoon still no sleep, used to it no problem. Then we load up and head to the airfield, finally doing something kids are getting restless and ornery. We load up on planes, I am thinking umm aren’t we supposed to be rigging our chutes? Then I see them stacked nicely on the floor of the aircraft (C-141) on a pallet, oh great an in flight rig means your going far (not a good sign, especially when you don’t know where your going). Then a Hummer from Div staff show up and the BC (Battalion Commander is given orders, he disperses them to the line company commanders). Doors shut, aircraft taxi down the runway and lift off; our hearts are pounding so loud you cannot hear the engines. While inflight I get a mission template (tells you what we are going to do and where) finally, I see what we are doing an exercise and flying into Ft. Polk, LA (nerves are easing up a bit). Our TOT (time on target) is 0300, 800’ AGL (above ground level) and then the dreaded acronym shows AWDS (Adverse Weather Delivery System, means low flying clouds). In flight rigs are not fun, like shopping at WalMart after Thanksgiving pushing and shoving no room to do anything. Then the inspection is really what scares you; it’s not the full deal. So, I am standing there #1 jumper to go out then the green light comes on. Standing with 98# ruck between my legs, the pilot playing with the temp control ( you swear he had hot and cold flashes), plane bouncing around (this is not conducive to my nerves). The doors open on both sides, clouds roll in and you think “are we really at altitude”? I get the “stand-by” command and move to the door and look out and see nothing but clouds like a horror movie it is rolling into the aircraft. Being #1 is fun at times you can look out and see the stars and the moon if it is out and the trees and houses and whatnot. Not tonight, the green light comes on and I get the “GO” sign. Hand off my static line to the safety and go, praying what have I gotten myself into to deserve this? After the 4 second count it opens, how do you know in the clouds, you feel a jerk and you can look up but all you will see is the cloud (can’t use lights unless you want to become a target). It opens; my heartbeat slows a bit. I wait for about a second or two and lower my stuff on the lowering line (lowering line is about 15’ long and is attached to equipment to lower to the gorund) that is when the fun began, it goes from taunt to limp in about 3 seconds (either one or two things has happened (1) the line snapped and I just lost my ruck or (2) we were closer to the ground than we knew). So, I get ready to land wouldn’t want to break anything when I hit. I hear a loud thump, and then I tense up and hit something solid (great trees I think but, NOT). A loud snapping and breaking noise happens I fall through a roof of some sort and land in soft straw and hey. Now I smell it, something familiar from my childhood. I landed in a farm I think, as I lay there doing a mental check for pain and numbness. It happened out of nowhere a Rhode Island Red with the intention of protecting his hens attacks claws and beak on my chest. I get out as fast as I could grab my gear and slipping and running in you know what to the door. I hate roosters till this day might I add. I get out and there is this lady in a nightgown with the country floral print all over it and fuzzy house slippers standing there in awe with her mouth wide open. I go to say something and she runs off screaming, then the family coon dog runs up and see’s me and my weapon and decides he’s going to follow her lead. I think great now what, I’m in I don’t know where and covered in chicken stuff, got scratches on my face from a rooster what else can happen to me? My only help just ran off frightened probably getting her husband to come out with his shotgun….He comes out totting his gun, I ask politely to use his phone. He asks where you from boy (now I am thinking it's only pellets if I run)? I explain that the plane I was on let us out a little to early can't trust modern equipment these days. After a bit of talking he let me in to use the phone and call the post to come pick me up..at least this time I got a fresh cup of coffee and a nice plate of home made gumbo.

[TheSassyRabbit]

Dang! This sure beats reading contracts and project data! Better than a chapter book. Keep it comin'! By the way, where did your buddy end up when he jumped?

[chinacat46]

Great story.

[DMP]

Dang! This sure beats reading contracts and project data! Better than a chapter book. Keep it comin'! By the way, where did your buddy end up when he jumped?

umm the rest landed in trees and what not.... not many got down from the trees. Too many gators down there so, they waited till sun up to get down.

[jextract]

Great story!

[DMP]

On a more serious note, I would like to say to my brother's and sister's currently deployed. I pray for each and every one of you each night, though we may be in different branches in the services. We all have one common goal and that is to protect our freedoms that we hold dearly to our hearts and the hearts of all Americans. After 17 years of service and numerous deployments, I know what you are feeling and wish that I was there with you once again.

[WreckWench]

Joe I asked you to post in our "Divers in Uniform" forum and you did.... For giving us a chance to get to know you better, SD is giving you your premier membership with us for free. But then you've really paid for it many times...for if it weren't for men and women like yourself...SD nor anything else we hold near and dear would exist!

Thank you for your spirit and determination to keep our country and our world free. - kamala aka wreck wench!

[DMP]

Why thank you. I could say that the reception here is quite well taken compared to being in Cleveland. People here do not repect the military for what we do or what we provide. I sometimes wonder what would happen if we all just walked away from it all.

[WreckWench]

Why thank you. I could say that the reception here is quite well taken compared to being in Cleveland. People here do not repect the military for what we do or what we provide. I sometimes wonder what would happen if we all just walked away from it all.

Well I'm glad that your reception has been good here! You are great! Thanks for being part of our site! Kamala

[DMP]

Interesting thought today while running background checks.....Why do we have turn signals on automobiles if people don't use them????? The other thing have you ever noticed people using escalators, they always want to walk on them and keep going instead of taking some time out and resting. There are always the steps that are perfectly stable right beside them that they can walk on.

[DMP]

I am bidding you all good bye for my time here was fun and delightful, I am going now.