37 replies to this topic

[idive2]

I have found myself in an awkward situation in the past when the expenses
of diving get to the level to where I believe they should be shared. I'm
old school when it comes to dating i.e. gladly pick up tab for dinners, lunches etc. but when you start talking about divng or a diving weekend is it right for
the male half of the relationship to pick up the entire cost ? I'm not cheap.
and make decent money but lets face it diving is not cheap and when paying for
two it becomes cost prohibitive at some point. I know....discuss it with
S.O. but in reality it always looks like the guy is being "tight" when mentioning
cost sharing while in a dating relationship. Ladies, what do you think, share
diving costs and let S.O. take care of other misc. expense, lunches, rooms,
etc. ?

[WreckWench]

Oooh good question...I look forward to the replies. I can't recall the last time a guy paid my way diving so its kinda hard for me to reply.

[NormsKid]

I've never had a guy pay or offer to pay. When I do find one that does...I jus might havta marry him!LOL!

Michelle

[ColoradoPilot]

Something seems odd here. You are concerned about having to pay some expenses and I can't get a woman to come on a dive trip to Cozumel if I do pay.

I suppose you just need to talk to her about it. This lends credibility to the assertion that the number 1 issue in marriages is money...or sex. Anyway money issues are high on the list.

Edited by ColoradoPilot, 15 May 2004 - 07:07 AM.

[nycamico]

It would not even occur to me to expect a guy to pay for my diving. Unless you bring it up as 'let me take you diving' or you are trying to get her interested in diving? To me also hinges on financial issues- If you are dating someone with no money and you really want to dive with them- maybe offer to help out- I personally would find it condescending for a man to insist on paying for everything since I make very good money and can take care of myself. I'm looking for a more equal relationship, not a sugar daddy..( ummm, unless you gotta whole lotta sugar, daddy!)

[WreckWench]

I'm looking for a more equal relationship, not a sugar daddy..( ummm, unless you gotta whole lotta sugar, daddy!)

LMAO!!!

[Starfish Sandy]

I have to agree with most of the other replies. I would feel bad if he paid for my part of the diving as trips can be expensive. I know covering one tab can break the bank much less two. I would just have a talk with her. I think women have trouble these days too - not knowing what to pay for and not - I try to pay for every other date when I see someone for a period of time. Men have expenses too -

Sandy

[triggerfish]

seems like i am in agreement with my sisters here. i've always paid my own way...the thought of someone else paying for me would never cross my mind. i don't think you're wrong for askeing her to pay for her part, dive2. if she pouts about it, maybe it's time to find a different SO....or dive with someone else!!

[fbp]

Same thing, "Old School"....
If the SO is a diver and has good $$ then I would feel the basics would be split. At the end of the day, I'm usually out spending her for both's enjoyment.. dinner, day trips, local stuff which is fine, I expect it.

IF the SO is a diver but can't quite afford the trip then depending upon the relationship, I'd delicately offer to help with whatever it takes to make it happen. I'd just buy the ticket, give her the airline ticket and some "Spending $$" so she could treat too and certainly not feel like a guest nor dependant, Uck, what a feeling to feel dependant on someone... so the extra $$ would be for fun things for BOTH parties.

I see it as a joint effort to go on a trip. One person might have more of something, laughter, fun, enthusiasm personality than the other and the other might have better resources, but the bottom line is "Do you want to go on the trip or not?" if you do, then what needs to be done to make it happen.... and then do it...
It's a joint effort by two enthusiastic people trying to enjoy each other and a trip to have fun on... now roll reversal might be a bit harder to adjust to... ;-)
All things being equal, it's shared equally...

[drbill]

Heck I'm looking for a sugar scuba sweetie who is wealthy and wants to cover my diving expenses and hers as we travel the world in search of adventure and new video footage! Keep in mind I've been single all my life!

IMHO the answer depends to a large extent on the relative earnings in the relationship. I am "new school" on this issue. If my date earns more than me and has equivalent expenses (no kids, etc.), I certainly would expect her to pay her way unless it was a special thing like a birthday trip. Since I'm just a starving marine ecologist/filmmaker, almost any woman I meet earns more than me!!

A woman who expects me to cover all of the dating expenses is just not a woman I would feel in a "partnership" with. Although I have occasionally been the doting lover, my best relationships have been with women who were on equal footing. If I wanted to go somewhere to eat, etc., and asked her, I'd usually pay everything. If she wanted to go somewhere with me, she'd pay.

The great thing about that is I could take her places she might not "want" to go (don't worry, ladies, I could take some of you places you'd really want to go!), and if she didn't like it it didn't cost her anything. Vice versa. In one relationship years back, we each tried to think up really unusual places that one of us wanted to try. We ended up going to an incredible range of places and involving ourselves in a wide range of activities (some we both disliked, but we had a lot of fun with that adventure).

It was a great relationship until the marriage thing reared it's ugly head. We got the parents together, started to make plans... and she bolted! Returned a year later but I was just finishing up a consulting job and leaving town.

I guess the best thing for me to do is find a woman of little income, who has simple tastes and lifestyle, and have both of us be very creative in our dating. As for diving and travel, guess we'll have to use our skills to pay for that.

Dr. B.

[fbp]

Heck I'm looking for a sugar scuba sweetie who is wealthy and wants to cover my diving expenses

LOL.. aren't we all...

I get "Tickled Pink" when some attractive lady wants to "Buy me a beer..." or whatever else... but then I think women in constuction are really kewl too..
I dunno, just get a chuckle when the unusual happens...
back to diving...

[idive2]

I'm looking for a more equal relationship, not a sugar daddy..( ummm, unless you gotta whole lotta sugar, daddy!)

if I had that much "sugar" I wouldn't be asking ! you seem like you have the right attitude. As a single dating diver I will have to say that your attitude is not typical.
The diving girls I've dated have had adequate income to pay for their diving and
maybe I'm foolish for not bringing it up. A couple hundred here and a couple hundred there isn't gonna kill me but it does add up pretty quickly if you dive
regularly.

[Walter]

I've never had a woman expect me to pay for their diving.

[triggerfish]

(don't worry, ladies, I could take some of you places you'd really want to go!),

ooooh, wildbill.....i ain't got much, but what i got is YOURS!!!!!

[scubahoney]

I've always paid my way too, never considered having the guy pay. I am seeing someone who makes 3Xs what I make, and he will pick up the tab if we rent equip together....but other than that...we have all this extra money from not having to pay for dinners..gotta use it somewhere!