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Deep Thoughts Thursday

Started by Dive_Girl , Apr 13 2006 09:51 AM

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26 replies to this topic

#1 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

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Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
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Posted 13 April 2006 - 09:51 AM

Ah it's Thursday people! So what to do, what to do - well share our Deep Thoughts of course, Jack Handy Style. Bonus if you can share deep diving thoughts...... :wavey:

Some of my favorite deep thoughts:

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#2 Capn Jack

I spend too much time on line

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Cert Level:YMCA in 65, dove till 79, returned in 2002... now will work for air and/or beer as a DM
Logged Dives:not enough

Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:31 AM

My favorite Handy-like response that I used on my kids -

"Where is Mom?"

"You made her cry, she ran away, and she's never coming back. Learn to deal with me."

The Handy I liked most was:

"A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'Hear that?' you say. 'That's dynamite, baby.' "

The other I remember, but not sure if it's a Jack Handy -

"If you love something, let it go. If it loves you, it will return. If it doesn't, track it down, stalk it, and kill it."

No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau

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#3 Vulture

Meeting folks

Member
136 posts

Location:Washington, DC
Gender:Male
Cert Level:AOW, Nitrox, Rescue
Logged Dives:60+

Posted 13 April 2006 - 11:03 AM

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Things get better everyday you stay alive
then I'm amazed every day that the sun decides to rise
every minute, every hour, is another chance to change
life is beautiful & terrible & strange.
- "Take Me Home" by Concrete Blonde

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#4 BeachBunny

I spend too much time on line

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Location:DFW
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Posted 13 April 2006 - 01:51 PM

I think a pillow should be the peace symbol, not the dove. The pillow has more feathers than the dove, and it doesn't have a beak to peck you with.

or

One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.

maybe...

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

:wavey:

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different" CoCo Chanel

beachbunny@singledivers.com

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
Ghandi

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#5 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

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Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 13 April 2006 - 01:54 PM

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

BB, OMG too funny!! :wavey:

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#6 blacktar

Meeting folks

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Location:Philippines
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Posted 13 April 2006 - 10:05 PM

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, don't reach for them, cause man they're gone.

BLACKTAR
"The edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who know where it is are those that have gone over." Hunter S. Thompson

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#7 Taniwha

On a roll now.....

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Location:Lancaster, CA
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Posted 20 April 2006 - 12:35 AM

I like this one:

My grandfather liked to whittle. Once he whittled a toy boat for me out of a bigger toy boat. It looked exactly the same except that it was smaller and had whittle marks all over it.

When your heart is full, try using your head.

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#8 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

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5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 20 April 2006 - 09:34 AM

If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind people and pinching them is probably a joke that gets old real fast.

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#9 ScubaHawk

Midwest HH Planner

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Location:Newton AL. ... really
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Cert Level:Dive Master
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Posted 21 April 2006 - 04:27 PM

ScubaHawk's Deep Thoughts:

They say that a dog can understand around 17 words of human - why can't I find someone that knows even one word of dog?

Take an SD trip - See old friends you have never met before!
Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance. - Jean-Paul Sartre
I feel the urge, the urge to submerge! -ScubaHawk - Raptor of the Deep !
WHO DAT!!!!

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#10 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 27 April 2006 - 12:50 AM

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

:fish2:

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.

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#11 BeachBunny

I spend too much time on line

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1,265 posts

Location:DFW
Gender:Female
Cert Level:Nitrox
Logged Dives:Not enough but I am working on it!

Posted 05 May 2006 - 01:00 PM

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

My new favorite is:

If dogs ever take over the world someday and they decide to choose a king, I hope they just don't go by size because I bet there are some Chihuahuas out there with some pretty good ideas.
---My chihuahua's certainly think so!

"In order to be irreplaceable one must always be different" CoCo Chanel

beachbunny@singledivers.com

"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
Ghandi

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#12 jholley309

People are starting to get to know me

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271 posts

Location:Augusta, GA
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Posted 06 May 2006 - 12:01 PM

Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.

You must have fascinating nightmares.

:birthday:

Cheers!

Jim

Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is what you do in spite of your fear.

Every man has fear. Any man who has no fear belongs in an institution. Or in Special Forces.

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#13 Piz

Meeting folks

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Location:Perth, Western Australia
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Posted 08 May 2006 - 03:37 AM

OK, i am trying to get a handle on this one but I am failing dismally. Who, or what is Jack Handy? I have heards of Murphy's law but not Handy.

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#14 Capn Jack

I spend too much time on line

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Location:DFW
Gender:Male
Board Status:Working to fund the next trip
Cert Level:YMCA in 65, dove till 79, returned in 2002... now will work for air and/or beer as a DM
Logged Dives:not enough

Posted 08 May 2006 - 05:35 AM

OK, i am trying to get a handle on this one but I am failing dismally. Who, or what is Jack Handy? I have heards of Murphy's law but not Handy.

He is a US humorist. He achieved wide popularity for his "Deep Thoughts" on a US comedy television show "Saturday Night Live" - they would spoof the "inspirational moments" with a pithy bit of one-liner humor.

Wikipedia entry for Jack Handey

Saturday Night Live Archives of Jack Handey moments

No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau

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#15 Dive_Girl

I need to get a life

Member
5,513 posts

Location:Portland, OR/Vancouver, WA USA
Gender:Female
Cert Level:PADI Course Director, EFR Instructor Trainer, DAN DEMP Instructor, rec-Trimix & Normoxic
Logged Dives:too many logged, too many not logged...:)

Posted 11 May 2006 - 02:37 PM

One of the guys I am working with is on his way to Disney Land. He reminded me of this...

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

:evilgrin:

It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!

Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.