30 replies to this topic

[annasea]

So now that I'm certified, I'm in need of dive buddies and advice on how to best select them. What I read on various SCUBA forums are divers offering to dive with whomever lives in or comes to their town. While I think such generosity and hospitality is wonderful, I'm also a bit wary. My primary concerns are:

a) people are not always what they appear to be (one way online, quite another in person)
b) others may make great friends, but aren't great dive buddies (SCUBA-related matters don't mesh)

1. How do you decide who you will or won't dive with?

2. Do you rely on the experiences of others? (referrals from other dive buddies, friends, family)

3. Do you have a screening process? If so, what types of questions do you ask?

4. Do you meet them in person first before actually making arrangements to dive?

Any suggestions you have are most welcome! As are offers to dive!

[PerroneFord]

Talk about a can of worms...


I think this evolves over time, especially as you become more comfortable with your diving. I know for me, there are people I'd dive with now, that I certainly wouldn't have a few months ago, simply because I feel a lot more comfortable with me, my gear, and my skills, such as they are. But let 's get to the meat of the matter.

1. The decision is based on a number of factors. But primarily, it's based on the attitude of the diver. I absolutely will not dive with someone I deem unsafe. If I think you're going to do something stupid in the water, I won't dive with you. Period. From there things get a bit more compliated. If the diver is very new, I approach it as a learning opportunity, keep the depth shallow, and keep the dive simple. There are people you'd do an overhead dive with, and people you wouldn't dive with below 50ft.

2. Rarely do I use recommendations of others unless there are certain circumstances. If one of my good dive buddies recommends someone, then I'll dive with them. But there are a LOT of implied things in that recommendation. If someone I know casaully says "so and so is a good diver", I don't trust that as far as I can spit in the wind.


3. Being DIR, I have a built in screening process! JUST KIDDING! Seriously, yes. I want to get to know the person, I want to get a sense of how they dive, what's important to how they dive, etc. I want to watch them gear up. I want to see their pre-dive check. I want to know how they approach safety. We're all down there to have fun, but someone with a cavalier attitude ruins that for me.


4. Sometimes I meet them in person, sometimes not. Sometimes you get surprised pleasantly, sometimes not so pleasantly. I dove with someone last weekend I will not dive with again. "Same ocean" diver with poor skills. Poor skills I can live with. Poor attitude I cannot.


Right now, as a newbie, I think you should dive with as many people as you can. Find out what you like and what you don't. Find out what kind of person YOU feel compatible diving with. Find out what they are there to do under the water? Some people like to chase things and dive at top speed. Some like to observe 5 square meters for an hour. Some want to work on skills during the dive, some just "want to have fun".

I have some dives planned in November with a member from here. We've never met. But from his posts, and since we have similar training, I know in large part what to expect. That makes for a very comfortable dive experience.

Enjoy!

[Capn Jack]

Totally agree with Perrone.

It gets much simpler as you gain confidence and experience.

Until then, I'd also add that you should tell the dive operator/boat crew and ask for their advice. They will also then (hopefully) give you a little extra attention when you gear up, prepare for your entry, exit the water etc. It will also alert them to the possibility you may be switching buddies after your first dive.

When you buddy with someone, you should also make it very clear to them that this may be a one-time event if either of you aren't comfortable.

Remember, at one point or another everyone was at this stage, facing the same dilemma you're now encountering.

At the end of the day, it's all good.

[annasea]

<snip>
Until then, I'd also add that you should tell the dive operator/boat crew and ask for their advice. They will also then (hopefully) give you a little extra attention when you gear up, prepare for your entry, exit the water etc. It will also alert them to the possibility you may be switching buddies after your first dive.

It sounds like what you're writing about here is a group trip scenario where I would know no one. This is something that I may tackle in the future, but for the moment, I'm just looking at finding individuals to dive with.

When you buddy with someone, you should also make it very clear to them that this may be a one-time event if either of you aren't comfortable.

This is an excellent suggestion!

Thx, Perrone and Mark!

[sniperdiver]

Congratulations on your certification!

[Basslet]

Yeah, congrats! When did that happen? Did I miss the post?

[webhead]

Here's what I recommend for YOU. Minor changes in advise for a man.

1) You should find a male buddy - so that he... well that will become obvious weeks or months later.

2) He should have a good income - so he can afford to dive and dive often and maybe take you as a guest

3) He should be a gentleman - so he won't make a fuss when you want separate rooms on that first dive trip

4) He should have time available to dive - so he can dive around your schedule, not the other way around

5) He should be a more experienced diver than you - so he can be your "life guard" and put your gear together for you

6) He should have a underwater camera - so he can take cool pics of you while diving for this web site

7) He shouldn't be part of a male dive team (i.e. have 3 or more male dive friends he hangs with) - so he doesn't leave you to go dive with the sharks with his male friends leaving you alone.

Seriously, the first thing I'd say is be up front with what you expect. Do you want someone to dive with or do you want someone to dive with and buy you dinner too. What type and amount of diving do you plan on doing. Local, trips, crazy cold water? Do you like to pretend to be a fish or are you done diving after 10 minutes of looking at sand?

Start with that and meet some people. Online isn't bad but it's like junk mail. The letter may say you've may have already won but open the envelope and you've got a loser inside. The trick is to open the envelope in a safe way - if it is a loser, you've lost nothing and gained experience.

If you are planning a trip and want to dive with someone you met online, I would plan the trip as if I was going by myself - room, flights and transport. If the other person is there, it's no different than if you met on the boat by chance. Don't plan on doing more than that dive together so if they are not what you expected, you're not stuck with them for a whole trip. And get a group to go so there are more "strangers" on your dive boat.

It would be great if you could meet them before but weigh that against how you would respond to someone you met on a dive trip. If you are 'independent', someone who meets you there really is no different than the person you bumped into.

Most important, follow your feelings. If something makes you uncomfortable or doesn't feel right, follow up that feeling with action. Don't feel obligated to dive outside of your comfort zone. Don't let someone make you feel that YOU are ruining the trip. And let me know how it goes.

[annasea]

Yeah, congrats! When did that happen? Did I miss the post?

"post"?!? I actually emerged from my shell to create a thread! With a title like A Horseshoe Crab... A Hushpuppy... A Hurricane, how could you have missed it?

BTW, Ellen! And sniperdiver, too!

[webhead]

Opps. Sorry. Congratulations. I hope you have many safe and fun years of discovering other divers and exciting dive sites.

[Diverbrian]

I find that I have gotten more choosy over the number of dives that I do.

If their plan is agreeable and similar to what I want to dive, then that helps.

I would say that right now there is one person who I consider to be my regular dive buddy. If you were to see us on a boat together, you would shake your head in disbelief. What we do have is an ability to know what the other diver will do underwater. We do know each other's gear and safety protocols cold although we typically dive different rigs from one another.

When we can't dive together, I typically have no problem finding dive buddies that I can relate to. I have one or two that I have completely disqualified from ever diving with me again and it is due to serious safety issues with them during dives that I have had with them. Then, I have received input from other divers that I trust to hear about the same types of things.

Examples of behavior that I do not appreciate:

I don't like diving with a diver who does respect me calling a dive. I'll respect "thumbing a dive", I expect the same out of you.

I don't like diving with a diver who runs themself low on gas and are afraid of looking like an idiot so that they don't turn the dive themselves. Please don't endanger yourself over ego. Neither of us has learned to breathe water and gas sharing is supposed to be for emergency use.

I do reserve the right to follow my own dive plan if I feel that it is more conservative that a boat DM's. (For instance, no jumping into the Blue Hole on singles for me even if that is what the DM wants to do.) Having said that, if you don't want to at least some prior knowledge about the conditions that we will be jumping into, don't dive with me. Listen to the safety briefing.

In short, I am not overly selective about an "average" dive to say 50 ft. in the open water. I will insist on a "two-way interview process" in many cases though. If either of us feels that the other will be an unsafe (or unsuitable) buddy for them, then that is end of it.

And buddy pairs on a trip may easily become a "one time only" deal as referred to above.

[Brinybay]

So now that I'm certified, I'm in need of dive buddies and advice on how to best select them. What I read on various SCUBA forums are divers offering to dive with whomever lives in or comes to their town. While I think such generosity and hospitality is wonderful, I'm also a bit wary. My primary concerns are:

a) people are not always what they appear to be (one way online, quite another in person)
b) others may make great friends, but aren't great dive buddies (SCUBA-related matters don't mesh)

1. How do you decide who you will or won't dive with?

Usually common interest and gear. e.g. a tech diver with a rebreather who wants to do a 300fsw dive I would not dive with.

2. Do you rely on the experiences of others? (referrals from other dive buddies, friends, family)

Yes, if available. Sometimes I learned the hard way that a diver SUCKED as a buddy, then later learned they had a reputation for being a buddy from hell.

3. Do you have a screening process? If so, what types of questions do you ask?

I usually just ask them basic questions, how many dives, how recent are they, experience at particular dive sites.

4. Do you meet them in person first before actually making arrangements to dive?

Criminy, you're going to be dive buddies, not f**k buddies! No, just show up with gear in hand.

Any suggestions you have are most welcome! As are offers to dive!

[annasea]

4. Do you meet them in person first before actually making arrangements to dive?

Criminy, you're going to be dive buddies, not f**k buddies! No, just show up with gear in hand.

I know it may seem like overkill to some, but since I'm sharing the responsibility of two lives -- mine and my dive buddy's -- with said dive buddy, I do take it rather seriously. Chances are nothing bad will happen, but I'd rather err on the side of safety and self-preservation.

[drbill]

Sigh, I've offered to be Caetllonn's buddy... but she knows me too well! However, I've always been well behaved even if my mind... er... wanders occasionally. I have a very impressive imagination!

[annasea]

Sigh, I've offered to be Caetllonn's buddy... but she knows me too well! < snip>

Hey! I may have refused *that* offer, but I'm all for being *dive* buddies! Which reminds me, any news yet on your summer travel plans? *We* are waiting!

[6Gill]

I'm just looking at finding individuals to dive with.

Well should you ever dive PNW....