Traveling without your SO
#1
Posted 13 June 2013 - 01:12 PM
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious
#2
Posted 13 June 2013 - 09:39 PM
1371151108[/url]' post='310160']
I see all of these amazing trips and though my husband supports me doing things without him and the kids, I feel very guilty about the idea of traveling without them. Is this normal or am I crazy? He has told me I should plan for trips that I want to do and he doesn't want to stop me from things I enjoy but it is incredibly hard for me to plan a trip were they aren't coming along. It doesn't bother me to take daytrips when our schedule allows but the idea of leaving the country seems impossible. Does anyone else have this problem? Also, are there any other ladies with non-diving husbands?
Scuba Jen, I am not married, so I can't speak to your situation very well, but fwiw, I think it is lovely and healthy that your family encourages you to dive! And to have some time where ou take care of you. Let me ask you this though, if not for guilt, would YOU be happy without them being present?
One of my best friends is married, and we travel often without her hubby and child along. Her job is flexible, and her hubbies and child's school schedule less so. It is really good for her.
Pick something and give it a try!
#3
Posted 15 June 2013 - 05:14 AM
We do have a number of women who's husband do not dive. Yet they support them by encouraging them to be members of our site and to actively travel because the site solves the travel problems of all people who do not have dive buddies.
We used to have an amazing couple who could not travel at the same time so each would pick a trip and travel with us. While not perfect...it did allow them the safety and structure our organization provides AND they got to take dream trips while still sharing other vacation/time together. In this case they both were divers but the same applies to non-divers. You are always welcome to bring your non-diving spouse with you and on some trips we can be kid friendly as well. Its a non-issue when the non-diving spouse takes care of the kids.
Now about the guilt...we always feel guilty when we are apart from our spouses and having fun. If we are working it does not produce guilt UNLESS we control our work schedules. But if we are having fun and we are away...it always produces guilt. IF HOWEVER...that little time away makes you a better wife and parent then you can focus on that and from what you are saying...your family gets it. They probably know how you are before diving and then how you are after diving and they /> you better after you have taken some time for yourself so you are re-energized when you get back.
Let's face it...if you were a spa girl and took time away from the family to be pampered and indulge in some 'me' time...we wouldn't be having this discussion. But diving is really very similar to 'spa time' for many people. But as you say...you don't typically fly to another country to go to the spa but you do to go diving. Hence the guilt.
So I would focus on diving as much in the US as you can for now as it is easier for your family to join you and maybe consider one trip out of country like our Roatan trip which is super easy and super inexpensive and do the thing(s) which heal and recharge you as a person so you can continue to be a super mom and wife! />
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !
Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!
Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
#4
Posted 15 June 2013 - 11:04 AM
I see all of these amazing trips and though my husband supports me doing things without him and the kids, I feel very guilty about the idea of traveling without them. Is this normal or am I crazy? He has told me I should plan for trips that I want to do and he doesn't want to stop me from things I enjoy but it is incredibly hard for me to plan a trip were they aren't coming along. It doesn't bother me to take daytrips when our schedule allows but the idea of leaving the country seems impossible. Does anyone else have this problem? Also, are there any other ladies with non-diving husbands?
#5
Posted 15 June 2013 - 03:34 PM
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious
#6
Posted 15 June 2013 - 03:52 PM
My favorite dive buddy is a married woman with two children under the age of 6. Her husband is also certified, but he only likes the tropical diving, and she and I are avid NC wreck divers and shark lovers. He happily plays dad for her to dive frequently. There is nothing odd about it for the two of us, we are just two women pursuing a hobby we're passionate about. Really the only difference is that she does some crazy drives at odd hours in order for her to minimize the number of nights away from home.Thank you. I have been away from my husband quite a bit but it is because of his work. I have never been away from the kids and admit that I will probably miss them more. I am sure I can get past the guilt but it also feels odd since most of the buddyless women I have met are single. The expensive trips are out of reach right now anyway and we discussed waiting until after Christmas to renew passports. I don't see me having the time and money to go out of country this year anyway with a Disney trip coming up. I was actually told to do the NC trip but we are waiting on some medical things to be decided and unfortunately his appointments were moved back, so no idea what is happening there. I can't plan a trip and then have them decide he needs surgery at that point. It isn't anything serious but would prevent him from being able to deal with kids on his own. I think I will look to plan a trip soon and leave them behind.
Best of luck to your husband in resolving his medical issues and I hope you get to dive soon!
#7
Posted 15 June 2013 - 07:00 PM
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious
#8
Posted 16 June 2013 - 02:04 PM
Cyberdiving via the forums for now is ok too! You'll just appreciate when you get wet again that much more. We'd love to have you join one of our trip and perhaps Bonaire next year will work otherwise we'll be doing Florida again and hopefully the Cooper River out of Charleston to look for MEG TEETH! (Your kids will love what you find!)
You are practically a neighbor so if you do decide to dive a bit more locally I'm sure we can put something together and I'll do a local dive or two with you.
I the opinions and perspectives shared so far. Leslie is single. I'm married to a diver that I rarely get to dive with and I'm ALWAYS gone and Ed was married and now has a significant other.
Great perspectives from great people. THAT is what makes our community so special. I hope you'll continue to ask questions and reply to those asked by others. Its fun sharing and actually we all end up learning...not just the person asking the question!
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
SD LEGACY/OLD/MANUAL Forms & Documents.... here !
Click here TO PAY for Merchandise, Membership, or Travel
"Imitation is the sincerest flattery." - Gandhi
"Imitation is proof that originality is rare." - ScubaHawk
SingleDivers.com...often imitated...never duplicated!
Kamala Shadduck c/o SingleDivers.com LLC
2234 North Federal Hwy, #1010 Boca Raton, FL 33431
formerly...
710 Dive Buddy Lane; Salem, SC 29676
864-557-6079 tel/celfone/office or tollfree fax 888-480-0906
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