I've recently been somewhat bemused by the fact that over the last few weeks, several people have tried playing Matchmaker for me. I didn't realize that I must appear miserable in my single status, so folks have decided to try and "fix me up".
Am I making a mistake in turning down all of these generous offers? In one case, I would've ended in dating someone who works for the same corporate employer that I do -- in my opinion, a disaster in the making. Others are more of the type "there's this girl that we know who should meet you."
How do other folks here handle this? You go with the flow, politely turned down the offer or just pretend that nothing was ever said and hope that it goes away...
PlatypusMan.
... bemused and bewildered am I...
Matchmaker, matchmaker...
Started by
Guest_PlatypusMan_*
, Oct 09 2006 08:19 PM
22 replies to this topic
#2
PerroneFord
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 08:26 PM
A couple of years ago, some of my players (adults) tried to set me up with a woman. Fairly attractive, PhD, professor at a local university. I refused to do a "date" so we just all met at a local resturant/bar for dinner. That meeting was a reaffirmation to NEVER, EVER, date anyone who your "friends" fix you up with. We had absolutely NOTHING in commen except a love of Sinatra, and opera.
In your shoes, I'd politely brush the suggestions off.
In your shoes, I'd politely brush the suggestions off.
#3
ScubaDadMiami
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 08:29 PM
You can't dive if you don't get into the water.
"The most important thing is not to stop questioning." Albert Einstein
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
#4
PerroneFord
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 09:58 PM
You can't dive if you don't get into the water.
Only YOU can dive for YOU...
#5
Twinklez
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 10:15 PM
Never hurts to meet new people; but I also find it bothersome when other's try to pick a match for me. Heck, I'm not all so sure I'm ready to meet a match right now; why do they have to rush me into it?
With that said, I don't really mind meeting people in a group situation where there isn't an even number of boys and girls...and everyone isn't expected to "pair up." If it's just mutual friends hanging together, that's cool cause there's no pressure.
With that said, I don't really mind meeting people in a group situation where there isn't an even number of boys and girls...and everyone isn't expected to "pair up." If it's just mutual friends hanging together, that's cool cause there's no pressure.
#6
ScubaDadMiami
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 10:56 PM
Only YOU can dive for YOU...
Someone's been reading The Good Book.
"The most important thing is not to stop questioning." Albert Einstein
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
"For the diligent diver, closed circuit rebreathers are actually safer than open circuit scuba." Tom Mount
#7
reefraff
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Posted 09 October 2006 - 11:28 PM
Rule 1 don't date your Honey where you make your money.
Rule 2 Don't talk Religion, politic's or lend friend's money, and definitely don't let them fix you up with a friend. Disaster is in the making with that, and you could loose a good friend.
Rule 2 Don't talk Religion, politic's or lend friend's money, and definitely don't let them fix you up with a friend. Disaster is in the making with that, and you could loose a good friend.
#8
ScubaPunk
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 06:00 AM
Was Sparky trying to set you up?? I'm sure his little black book is loaded! I've had the same problem, not to often though. I just tell people that I don't date, period. That usually is followed up with a bunch of questions as to why. Then I ask, "Does this person dive?". Which is usually answered by "No". Enough said.
#9
Blackhawk
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 06:54 AM
Hey Platyman... I'm sure we've all been there... The thing is what harm is it? Even you're happy single and don't want a relationship be upfront then go on a date... you might make a REALLY good friend that you would have otherwise missed out on.
I put my right foot in, I put my left foot out, I do the aikipokey and throw you all about 
#10
cmt489
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 10:53 AM
IMO, the whole matchmaking thing is too contrived. If your friends really think this is a great person that you might have an interest in, I find it is much better to organize some event that you are both invited to. It can be a party, a dinner, drinks - just about anything. Plus, it takes the pressure off of everyone of having that blind date...
#11
jextract
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 11:00 AM
Back when I was single I, too, was afflicted with this type of "friend abuse."
I finally learned to ask one question before making a decision: "tell me why, precisely, you think that this person and I would hit it off." If I liked the answer I'd give it a shot.
I finally learned to ask one question before making a decision: "tell me why, precisely, you think that this person and I would hit it off." If I liked the answer I'd give it a shot.
"Because I accept the definition, does not mean I accept the defined." -- ScubaHawk
"Love is blind but lust likes lacy panties" -- SanDiegoCarol
"If you're gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough." -- Phillip Manor
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't I'll just respond cleverly." -- Donald Rumsfeld
"Love is blind but lust likes lacy panties" -- SanDiegoCarol
"If you're gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough." -- Phillip Manor
"If I know the answer I'll tell you the answer, and if I don't I'll just respond cleverly." -- Donald Rumsfeld
#12
WreckWench
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 12:20 PM
Back when I was single I, too, was afflicted with this type of "friend abuse."
I finally learned to ask one question before making a decision: "tell me why, precisely, you think that this person and I would hit it off." If I liked the answer I'd give it a shot.
Great reply! I will use that one myself when my friends try to set me up. Of course they are so used to me asking if they are a diver that they usually only try to set me up with divers!
Or better yet...invite them to an SD Happy Hour so I can meet them that way. If things go well all the better and if they don't well there are LOTS of people there for them to talk too.
So platyman...tell your friends to have the person they want you to meet join in on one of the SD Happy Hours. If she fits in she might want to learn to dive. If she doesn't then she'll understand its not her...but the fact that she is not a diver. All in all its a good way all around to meet new people without false expectations.
Contact me directly at Kamala@SingleDivers.com for your private or group travel needs or 864-557-6079 AND don't miss SD's 2018-2021 Trips! ....here! Most are once in a lifetime opportunities...don't miss the chance to go!!
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#13
finGrabber
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 01:07 PM
I have to say that it doesn't matter if they dive or not
you'll never know if the right gal was standing right in front of you if you are not willing to take risks...putting yourself out there is half the battle...the other half is knowing what you want in a life partner. You may have a 10 item list, you may have a 1 item list but you have to know what you want or you're really just waisting your time
I also have to say that if you are totally consumed by diving, then a diver would be the best choice in a mate...then it's a matter of if that person dives with you as a fit or not, in other words, does this person have dive goals that match yours, are they safe, can you learn from them, etc
you'll never know if the right gal was standing right in front of you if you are not willing to take risks...putting yourself out there is half the battle...the other half is knowing what you want in a life partner. You may have a 10 item list, you may have a 1 item list but you have to know what you want or you're really just waisting your time
I also have to say that if you are totally consumed by diving, then a diver would be the best choice in a mate...then it's a matter of if that person dives with you as a fit or not, in other words, does this person have dive goals that match yours, are they safe, can you learn from them, etc
#14
Boatlawyer
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 01:22 PM
I have to say that it doesn't matter if they dive or not
you'll never know if the right gal was standing right in front of you if you are not willing to take risks...putting yourself out there is half the battle...the other half is knowing what you want in a life partner. You may have a 10 item list, you may have a 1 item list but you have to know what you want or you're really just waisting your time
I also have to say that if you are totally consumed by diving, then a diver would be the best choice in a mate...then it's a matter of if that person dives with you as a fit or not, in other words, does this person have dive goals that match yours, are they safe, can you learn from them, etc
I'm with you, Kim. I used to think that I was limited to the diver pool of available men, but now, not so sure. A lot of divers I meet who are "consumed" just wouldn't have time or desire to make me the priority I want to be in a relationship, nor to appreciate the things I bring to the table outside of diving. Diving is certainly being relocated from the "mandatory" to the "would be nice to have" category. Having said that, whoever I become "serious" with, if he was not a diver, would have to understand that it is one of my passions.
You also raise a good point that even if they DO dive, that can create more problems than it fixes. I like photography, warm, reef and shallow wreck diving. Not crazy about spearfishing, but will chase lobsters. This would not be a great match for a hard-core, cave diving, wreck-penetrating, spearfishing underwater cowboy. He'd be better off diving with his like-minded buddies.
You are so smart!
#15
solodiver in nj
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Posted 10 October 2006 - 04:14 PM
[quote name='WreckWench' date='Oct 10 2006, 02:20 PM' post='158302']
Great reply! I will use that one myself when my friends try to set me up.
Is this more misdirection regarding the recent NC trip?????
Great reply! I will use that one myself when my friends try to set me up.
Is this more misdirection regarding the recent NC trip?????
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