41 replies to this topic

[Basslet]

I went to a friend's house for dinner on Friday night. She is living with her fiance. I find out later that her fiance is still married to his first wife. It seems that he keeps going back and forth between the two and my friend gave him an ultimatum, so he asked her to marry him. I don't know about you, but I sure wouldn't get engaged to someone who wasn't even divorced yet.
Then another woman who was there is all lovey dovey with another guest who is a scuba instructor. I mean, there was some serious tongue kissing, sitting with their arms around each other, he had his hand on her leg during dinner. I didn't think anything of it until after the dude left and she came in from outside (she had given him something that was in her car) and she got all kind of pissed at him saying that he was nuts if he thought she was going to sleep with him because he was married. And I'm like "WHAT? I thought he was your boyfriend." And she said No, he's married. I was kind of dumbfounded. I wouldn't get all intimate with a married guy. Am I out of touch with reality or something? Disclaimer. I do not watch soap operas or Desperate Housewives or any of that stuff.

Edited by Fairybasslet, 22 October 2006 - 06:28 PM.

[UnderSeaBumbleBee]

Sounds like none of these folks have any sense of loyalty or commitment to their spouses or respect for others spouses. I think I would get new friends. If you find and meet someone to share your life with, these are the people you are likely to come home to and find in bed with your spouse.

[PerroneFord]

Apparently, marriage isn't what it used to be!

[mantarraya]

No, you're not out of touch with reality. Both women are NUTS to be with those guys, and I'm sure the guys don't have the highest opinions of those women either, just enjoying taking advantage of them.

[Photographic Mercenary]

Stay clear of all them and you will most likely be out of the line of fire.
God has no wrath as a woman scorned.

Neither of these males knows what it is to keep their word.
But what the hell it's just a little mortal sin.

This coveting thing works both ways you know.
So the one that knows he is married, is no prize either.

There is only one thing more dangerous than a woman with a firearm.
That's a woman that knows how to use a firearm.

But you get more press when you use the Bobbit technique.

[cat fish]

Wow, I hope the meal was de-lish. The entertainment sure sucked. Seriously, I am sorry you got stuck for an entire evening with the Dysfunctional Quartet. Needy women and narcissistic men ... Ick.

Until your friend stops self-abusing, there's not much you can do but steer clear.

[Basslet]

God has no wrath as a woman scorned.

It's "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned." It's from the play, The Mourning Bride, by William Congreve
Well, I'm glad it wasn't just me who thought the whole situation a little strange. I supposed I really should have calle the woman whose house I went to a "friend" but we had gone through elementary school a high school together (though we weren't friends then either) and happened to meet on a boat in Bonaire this summer. Go figure.

[Dennis]

Ellen,

That must have been a really strange evening. I could never imagine acting like that. Of course, I am happily married.

[scubagirl]

You are not out of touch. Both ladies should dump this guy. And there would be no way that I would marry or even date a man if it took an ultimatum from me to do so. RUN FOREST RUN!!!

[cmt489]

Are you sure you didn't just step into the pages of a poorly written fiction novel? Sounds like a very weird evening!

[WreckWench]

Seriously, I am sorry you got stuck for an entire evening with the Dysfunctional Quartet. Needy women and narcissistic men ... Ick.

But this happens more times than not. It is in fact quite normal (ook at all the tv shows and movies that play out the same theme) and people accept it saying well what they do in their personal lives is their own business but then accept them at face value in other situations as if the lack of moral conduct in one application i.e. married men cheating on their wives does not carry over to other applications i.e. business etc.

Until your friend stops self-abusing, there's not much you can do but steer clear.

As for friends who self-abuse...you do owe this friend the truth...but then you must let them decide what they want to do about it. A true friend will tell you things that others are afraid to say. However, no one can force someone to do something so once you've told her, you must let her make her own decisions.

[jextract]

... and my friend gave him an ultimatum, so he asked her to marry him.

OK, am I the only one who noticed this? I have been given ultimata before and the only proper answer to being given one is to kick the giver to the curb! If you ever give in to an ultimatum you have accepted a position of weakness in the relationship.

[annasea]

I have been given ultimata before and the only proper answer to being given one is to kick the giver to the curb! If you ever give in to an ultimatum you have accepted a position of weakness in the relationship.

Very interesting...

[Basslet]

... and my friend gave him an ultimatum, so he asked her to marry him.

If you ever give in to an ultimatum you have accepted a position of weakness in the relationship.

I guess this is why my kid never listens to me? I give him too many ultimatums?
Well, let's see how this one works: Get a job because I am not paying for gas for your car.

[Hipshot]

Last year, around this time, I was dating a woman who was going through a divorce. She regaled me with tales of his abuse and her "monster-in-law." At the beginning of this year, she went back to him.

Need I say more???

Rick


Beware of lovers, who close their eyes
They could be hiding a thousand lies
You never know who they fantasize
Beware of lovers who close their eyes--Shel Silverstein