Having just removed myself from a difficult relationship and while looking forward to an upcoming cave diving trip, I realized that CAVES ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN BECAUSE...
1) You can penetrate them without having to hold them afterward.
2) Caves don't care if you penetrate other caves.
3) Caves don't mind if you feed them a line.
4) You don't mind going down when there is flow.
5) Caves don't bug you to stop and ask directions if you are lost.
6) No one ever got venereal disease from a cave.
7) The more you get to know a cave the more you usually like it.
8) Caves are not usually shallow.
9) Unlike relationships getting out of a cave is usually swift and easy.
10) Caves are adorned with $2.50 pieces of plastic rather than $250 pieces of metal.
11) Time spent in a cave is worth it.
12) With a cave there is usually light at the end of the tunnel.
Trace
Caves are better than women
Started by
TraceMalin
, May 19 2007 01:48 AM
62 replies to this topic
#1
TraceMalin
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 01:48 AM
Trace Malinowski
Technical Training Director
PDIC International
Technical Training Director
PDIC International
#2
blacklatexozdiver
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 05:05 AM
NEWS FLASH
Well known diver TraceMalin has suddenly disappeared. Police have 5286 female suspects....
Well known diver TraceMalin has suddenly disappeared. Police have 5286 female suspects....
Edited by blacklatexozdiver, 19 May 2007 - 05:08 AM.
"Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love." Albert Einstein
SD's Aussie Connection.
SD's Aussie Connection.
#3
Latitude Adjustment
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 05:50 AM
Caves usually aren't more trouble that they are worth!
We don't know how old caves are so no birthdates to remember.
Hey Trace, has a cave ever thrown a can of Coke at you?
Oh, and caves don't complain when you bring a Coke to my dive buddy and don't offer one for the cave or didn't you know about that?
We don't know how old caves are so no birthdates to remember.
Hey Trace, has a cave ever thrown a can of Coke at you?
Oh, and caves don't complain when you bring a Coke to my dive buddy and don't offer one for the cave or didn't you know about that?
Edited by Latitude Adjustment, 19 May 2007 - 05:53 AM.
I, Latitude Adjustment (insert log in name), do hereby swear, (politely), that I shall not hold SingleDivers, (SD), nor any SD poster, (real or imagined), liable, nor shall I seek legal restitution, (real or imagined), for any perceived, (real or imagined), offenses I may incur, (or Incurrrrrrrrrr on talk like a pirate day), that may or may not be posted on this or any SCUBA related board, (real or imagined), by anyone, (real or imagined), anywhere, (real or imagined). Further, I void any right to privacy, (real or imagined), as it may, or may not relate to any posting, (real or imagined), about me, to me, for me, because of me, all about me, my dog, my cat, my bird, my monkey, my family, (real or imagined), my friends, (real or imagined), or my world, (real or imagined).
By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
_________________________________________(log in name signature)
Signed and Dated
By all that is wet, I do hereby swear, (politely), and attest, upon pain of never diving again, (real or imagined), that I understand and affirm, that I agree to the above.
_________________________________________(log in name signature)
Signed and Dated
#4
secretsea18
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 07:28 AM
NEWS FLASH
Well known diver TraceMalin has suddenly disappeared. Police have 5286 female suspects....
Make that 5287 female suspects.......
#5
Basslet
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 07:50 AM
That was very clever and original. 
#6
Dive_Girl
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 10:15 AM
Having just read this thread, thought I'd quickly add some of my own...
1) The easy caves seem to draw the most divers.
2) Divers drawn to shallow caves get what they deserve - not much of a challenge.
3) Taking the time to discover parts of caves less traveled are usually the most rewarding.
4) Underestimating a cave can lead to serious trouble.
5) The hardest caves to find, get to, and often nondescript at the surface are typically the most surprisingly beautiful.
need I post more...
1) The easy caves seem to draw the most divers.
2) Divers drawn to shallow caves get what they deserve - not much of a challenge.
3) Taking the time to discover parts of caves less traveled are usually the most rewarding.
4) Underestimating a cave can lead to serious trouble.
5) The hardest caves to find, get to, and often nondescript at the surface are typically the most surprisingly beautiful.
need I post more...
It's Winter time - you know you're a diver when you're scraping ice off your windshield INSIDE your vehicle...!
Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.
Once in a while, it is good to step back, take a breath, and remember to be humble. You'll never know it all - ScubaDadMiami. If you aren't afraid of dying, there is nothing you can't achieve - Lao-tzu. One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him - Chinese Proverb.
#7
pocahontas
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 12:34 PM
Just so everyone is clear...I would like EVERYONE to forget my birthdate! Especially the year part...Caves usually aren't more trouble that they are worth!
We don't know how old caves are so no birthdates to remember.
Hey Trace, has a cave ever thrown a can of Coke at you?
Oh, and caves don't complain when you bring a Coke to my dive buddy and don't offer one for the cave or didn't you know about that?
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods - Robert. Frost
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Stopping by Woods - Robert. Frost
#8
Guest_Sea Urchin_*
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 12:58 PM
Having just read this thread, thought I'd quickly add some of my own...
1) The easy caves seem to draw the most divers.
2) Divers drawn to shallow caves get what they deserve - not much of a challenge.
3) Taking the time to discover parts of caves less traveled are usually the most rewarding.
4) Underestimating a cave can lead to serious trouble.
5) The hardest caves to find, get to, and often nondescript at the surface are typically the most surprisingly beautiful.
need I post more...
more please
#9
Basslet
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 02:34 PM
Having just read this thread, thought I'd quickly add some of my own...
1) The easy caves seem to draw the most divers.
2) Divers drawn to shallow caves get what they deserve - not much of a challenge.
3) Taking the time to discover parts of caves less traveled are usually the most rewarding.
4) Underestimating a cave can lead to serious trouble.
5) The hardest caves to find, get to, and often nondescript at the surface are typically the most surprisingly beautiful.
need I post more...
Excellent. Very clever too, and true.
#10
annasea
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 02:37 PM
Having just read this thread, thought I'd quickly add some of my own...
1) The easy caves seem to draw the most divers.
2) Divers drawn to shallow caves get what they deserve - not much of a challenge.
3) Taking the time to discover parts of caves less traveled are usually the most rewarding.
4) Underestimating a cave can lead to serious trouble.
5) The hardest caves to find, get to, and often nondescript at the surface are typically the most surprisingly beautiful.
need I post more...
Excellent. Very clever too, and true.
#11
nurseshark
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 03:31 PM
I understand cave diving can be an awesome experience. But, I have heard far too many strories of divers rushing into a dive without fully researching what they are getting into, thinking that the dive will be easy because it seems shallow and uncomplicated. Then as they begin to actually penetrate the cave they are met with more challenges than they are prepared for, leading the diver to have to pull out early, without completing full penetration.
This can lead to an unrewarding experience for both the diver and his buddy.
This can lead to an unrewarding experience for both the diver and his buddy.
Edited by nurseshark, 19 May 2007 - 04:49 PM.
#12
drbill
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 07:35 PM
Since I'm not really tech trained, I think I'll stick with women.
#13
Capn Jack
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 08:34 PM
DrBill - I think the right plan for you now is to start offering a DIR-F course (the F here standing for Female)Since I'm not really tech trained, I think I'll stick with women.
Edited by Capn Jack, 19 May 2007 - 08:35 PM.
No aquarium, no tank in a marine land, however spacious it may be, can begin to duplicate the conditions of the sea. And no dolphin who inhabits one of those aquariums or one of those marine lands can be considered normal.
Jacques Yves Cousteau
Jacques Yves Cousteau
#14
TraceMalin
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Posted 19 May 2007 - 09:47 PM
DrBill - I think the right plan for you now is to start offering a DIR-F course (the F here standing for Female)Since I'm not really tech trained, I think I'll stick with women.
As someone who has developed training programs, I know the importance of making sure you follow the best and most correct procedures and academic knowledge. If you are to develop a "Doing It Right - Females" course, Bill, may I suggest researching the techniques used in Roman sacks and Viking invasions?
Good one, Jack.
~ Trace
Trace Malinowski
Technical Training Director
PDIC International
Technical Training Director
PDIC International
#15
mantarraya
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Posted 20 May 2007 - 12:25 PM
This a great thread! TraceMalin, with that attitude, it is a good thing you like caves so much. Hopefully, after the sting of the failed relationship abates, you'll find yourself liking both caves and women again.
Back after a long absence - whew, too busy at work!
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