38 replies to this topic

[ScubaStacy]

I have to comment on the new bed linens idea - it's brilliant! And you don't have to go broke to do it. Try Overstock.com - only place I shop for linens. 800+ thread count for around $80.00. I can't go back to department store linens ever again! I am really spoiled on good bedding - I get happy every week after I've done laundry and know I'm sliding into soft clean sheets that night.... (yeah the little things make me happy)

Also try downy lavender and vanilla fabric softener - makes me think of a spa and feel spoiled every time I slip into bed.

Hang in there girl - you have friends here thinking about you!

Stacy

[pmarie]

Also www.smartbargains.com I've gotten the majority of my linens there. Same as ScubaStacy, hard to shop in the Dept stores after getting 800+ or Italian sheets for $50-90 a set.

[scienceteacher]

I have been there myself after my wife of 16-years wanted out. Remember back before you were married? What things did you like to do and your husband refused to to them? My wife did not want to dance and I simply loved to dance. What did I do, I started taking Aerobic dance classes at the gym and then some lessons and boom. The real thing dancing! Dancing is fun and great exercise for scuba diving. Don't forget boxing classes or a little punching bag. You can always put a picture of your ex on it for fun!

Heck with Western line-dancing you don't even need a man!

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[a_fl_mermaid]

I'm another just like you in that i went thru a break up somewhere between 2 & 3 years ago. Many have given you good advice and things I definetly agree with.

For me, I was kind of isolated and had to work hard to build new friendships. I have taken adult ed classes at local high schools,...take anything that interests you.. because you may be able to make new friends there. I started dancing ...first bellydancing, then ballroom & nearly 3 years later I'm still doing both, have made wonderful friends and enjoy myself immensely. Lastly, I started diving again and I've met many good friends and had good times with the SD people. I also meditate, try to stay positive and motivated.

Best news: I'm happier now, and more fulfilled than I've been in years and age doesn't matter....I'm older than you!

Live life fully, you only live once!(I think?)

Wishing you peace and happiness,

Holly

[shawnabbott]

And here is my 2 cents...if you can "make" yourself feel less pain, move on, have less bitterness, then fine.

Otherwise, do what your self dictates/needs...friends will help (and you find out who your friends are), new interests will help (yes, that is how I took up diving and here I am 350 dives and 4.5 years, later), pampering helps, and YOURSELF will help...because at some point, shorter term or longer term, you will decide to move on a bit at a time, or more.

Give yourself what you need at the times you need it to move forward and don't let others dictate how that is best done. For me, talking a lot at first helped...there is a process...you are entitled to shock, denial, anger, etc. It's all part of the process.

Eventually you'll remember the best parts about you that are still, and have always been, terrific, and nourish those!

Oh, and the fresh linens idea? I had new ones laundered, present, and waiting to be put in place, with the old ones bagged up, on the day he left. Surprise! Would you like to take these with you...?

See you in Roatan.

[shawnabbott]

oh, and instead of fleeing the home whose fault is wasn't that he left? I got rid of the ghosts, and made it mine...first room painted? went from all white walls, to blood red walls with a blue ceiling... mayan sacrificial chamber... I smile everytime I'm in it...

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

As those who have been through this can imagine, I had very little motivation to do much the first few days this week. I spent that time pretty much just trying to level out the emotions so I could deal with work, then coming home and flopping. No appetite, no energy, and the only enthusiasm I had was for the SD board. I thank all of you for "being here"! Thankfully, my daughter has been here for me too, and we've gotten very close this week. No bashing the ex, just leaned on her a little for support.

So, last night when I got home, I decided to bring all my dive gear up into the living room, and started my checklist for Roatan. Who was going to complain about the "mess" the next few weeks?? My gaze was drawn to the gear bag all evening long. Slept fairly well last night, and this morning when I got up, I actually felt like starting the retail therapy.

So, tonight after work, it's off to Home Depot for some primer and a few gallons of Behr paint. I can turn on the Olympics this weekend to keep me company, and get the renewal started. After the paint is decided on, then the linens! At least I'm up off the couch again. Thanks, all. Your encouragement and support is helping!

[pmarie]

Good For You!! We are all here if you need some help or a lift. Just think; you will get to discover you all over again.

[mantarraya]

Glad you are able to keep busy and feeling a bit better. I know it must be a tough adjustment! Just remember, there may be Cabana Boys in Roatan.