ONLY the absence of common sense would explain labeling batter-coated french fries a "fresh vegetable."
But government and common sense are not always compatible. The U.S. Department of Agriculture now defines the popular fast food in that manner as part of a plan to benefit fruit and vegetable farmers. Given the way bureaucrats operate, don't be surprised if french fries wind up in the vegetable column in school lunches, too.
Let's admit it. French fries are great. There's nothing like an order of hot, salty, deep-fried potato sticks, preferably with a burger. However, most people inherently know that they are not good for you.
Now, unbelievably, batter-coated french fries have the government's stamp of approval as vegetables. The idea deals a blow to parents' efforts to convince their children to eat more fresh fruit and vegetables and fewer greasy fast-foods.
Remember 1981, when the USDA tried to classify ketchup as a vegetable in school lunches? The public was in an uproar, and the department and U.S. District Judge Richard Schell of Texas, who endorsed the change, don't want a replay of that scene.
That's why they want to make it clear that this new classification of french fries only applies to commerce. The french fry industry tried for decades to get the revision in the Perishable Agricultural Commodities Act. In fact, since 1996, most frozen french fries have been considered fresh vegetables anyway.
No matter how aggressively the USDA pushes the point, the notion of french fries as a fresh vegetable will only make a fat nation fatter. One reason the industry sought the revision is because obesity is partly blamed on the vast consumption of french fries, and the industry saw reclassification as a step toward respectability.
A Chicago attorney who challenged the revision called the new rule "outrageous" and said flatly that "batter-coated french fries are not fresh vegetables." No matter how you sugar-coat it, or in this case, batter-coat it, he's right.
We hate to ask, but what next?
Does this mean that chocolate-covered cherries will soon qualify as fresh fruit?
