Posted 28 September 2005 - 07:31 AM
This could probably be split off into its own topic, but here goes. I have been waiting and reserving judgment in light of all the "goings on" on and behind this board in the interest of being fair because I do dearly love it here and have made a lot of friends. Regretfully, however, I think this is it for me.
Here is my two PSI from a woman's perspective, and this will be my last post. I think Brinybay's intentions were good ones. He should not be criticized for them. However, if those good intentions bore unexpected reactions and offended anyone in any way, even if we don't agree, I think apologies should be in order for the oversight.
I would not say I was offended by the collage at first, but it did yield unexpected and undesirable results. I began receiving messages from "admirers", which could be considered flattering when given with sincerity and respect (some were), and in the right context, but certainly some I would consider were the cyber-equivalent to catcalls on the street. I'm sure many of you ladies have received similar messages of both types. Now, some women may not mind catcalls, or perhaps even encourage or engage in them, but I do mind, though I consider myself quite outgoing. Those of you who have met me know that I am far from the quite, demure type! True, one cannot control catcalls when walking down a street, but I can control which street I walk down.
I'm a big girl, and I can handle it, but this discussion made me think about other women who are not as vocal on this board and how they might feel. Who are we to assume they are okay with it? Should the default be that they have to speak up if they are uncomfortable when they may be uncomfortable speaking up....or may not be active enough on the board to know and have an opinion on what has been done with their picture? Perhaps a solution in the future would be to have a box for people to check to allow/not allow their pictures to be used in anything (on the board only, and with moderator oversight so that it is tasteful) such as this in the future when they upload it -- with the ability to revoke that permission at anytime if they do not agree with how it is used, of course. Even better, perhaps not to allow the use of pictures outside their intended use in the personal profiles as a default w/o express permission from the person. Just a thought.
I am not one to normally get on my soapbox on these issues, but I am extremely disappointed in the deterioration in the environment in this board. I attribute part of that to the dismissal of, and often chastising and berating of, the opinions of the minority. It would appear that, though perhaps not intended, the majority of members on this board far prefer the echoing of their own opinions to the lively discussions from different perspectives. I know we live in an age of sometimes too much PC, but I thought that if ANYONE was uncomfortable, MALE OR FEMALE, that those opinions would be heard, considered, and not ridiculed on this board (as they seem to have been done here) whether or not we agree with them. How can we be so arrogant as to judge another's opinon? An opinion is just that -- an opinion -- and I've seen it again and again, and will reiterate it here -- we all have a right to our own opinion w/o ridicule on this board, or so I was led to believe.
I agree with some of you that this board is no longer the "light-hearted" fun place it used to be, but it can be (ands sometimes still is) an enjoyable and welcoming place. Though most of us "know" each other and have met before/dived together, it is a sad fact that the intimate and casual environment must change to accommodate the rapidly growing and ever-diverse membership. We can no longer assume what used to be "okay" when we were a smaller group is acceptable to others who join. And this boad can be a bit intimidating to those who haven't been around long or met anyone. Surprising to some of you perhaps, but there it is. It is obvious from the threads that some of us "know" each other and share some sort of a history, which warrants some familiarity in the postings, but that should not be assumed to be acceptable by everyone. Given the hostile reactions I've seen to some of the differing opinions here, I am not surprised that some are afraid to post their opinions. I, personally, have not been a member all that long (only since May), but feel fortunate enough to have come during a time when the environment was more welcoming to my opinions and been able to forge some real friendships with some quality people. Otherwise, I might not have had such fond memories of this board in this short and tumultuos time.
The problem here is much bigger than Brinybay's post. This thread is but one example that highlights problems here. I feel the quality of the environment here has degraded to the point where we have lost the original spirit of the "mission" here. How come that wasn't moderated?
Speaking of which, I don't think that I have said anything here that needs to be moderated, so let's hope that opinions are allowed to be expressed. I am merely expressing my own feelings on the matter. I am not in any way commenting on individual members of this board, merely the overall environment that has been fostered here as a whole. Quite the contrary, I hold many of the members here in high regard and am glad to have had the pleasure of getting to know them. I know we are better than this as a group. That is why this is so disappointing. Thanks for the good times, the memories, the friendships. I know I will still see some of you out there in bluer and calmer waters, so until we meet again! I'd like to keep my experience here as positive as possible, so I think it's time to go. That is why this will be my last post here. My ten PSI. Good luck and good diving!
