34 replies to this topic

[drbill]

<snip>
"Hi, I'm an XXXX [fill in your own agency] instructor. Can you help me put the strap back on my personal mask? NOTE: actually happened.

Did it work?

Yes... I didn't have to go to the other end of the boat though. They fired her before she started (she was to be my replacement on board the boat in Belize). She not only couldn't put the strap on her own mask, she put her BC on backwards and had absolutely no control over her bouyancy. And she did have an instructor's card in her name.

[txagdive]

I usually lead off with a big smile and hello...if she doesn't give that go away look women are so very good at...then i follow with a neutral complement that is true inorder not to have to backpedal if they don't take it well...but hey you never know when some corny line will work...it certainly makes for a good laugh this guy is cool

[shadragon]

From the classic, but corny file...

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again..."

[WreckWench]

From the classic, but corny file...

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again..."

Awwww shucks...I like that one too!

[shadragon]

From the classic, but corny file...

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again..."

Awwww shucks...I like that one too!

(Swinging gold watch on a chain...) You are getting sleepy... Very sleepy... You are feeling relaxed... Your body has no tension or stress... You will pay attention to every word I say...

You will forget you heard this line until we meet... You will forget you heard this line until we meet... When you hear me say that line you will have an incredible urge to hug and be close to me...

Also, when I say 'supercalafragalistic' you will cluck like a chicken for 10 seconds...

When I snap my fingers you will awake feeling refreshed and happy with no memory of this message at all...

**SNAP**

[WreckWench]

From the classic, but corny file...

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again..."

Awwww shucks...I like that one too!

(Swinging gold watch on a chain...) You are getting sleepy... Very sleepy... You are feeling relaxed... Your body has no tension or stress... You will pay attention to every word I say...

You will forget you heard this line until we meet... You will forget you heard this line until we meet... When you hear me say that line you will have an incredible urge to hug and be close to me...

Also, when I say 'supercalafragalistic' you will cluck like a chicken for 10 seconds...

When I snap my fingers you will awake feeling refreshed and happy with no memory of this message at all...

**SNAP**

Now darling was that a 'snap' or a 'smack'???? Be careful which you receive!!!

p.s. fortunately my beau is not the jealous type so you are safe....for now that is! He'll be more worried what I would do so he lets me handle it!

[shadragon]

Now darling was that a 'snap' or a 'smack'???? Be careful which you receive!!!

p.s. fortunately my beau is not the jealous type so you are safe....for now that is! He'll be more worried what I would do so he lets me handle it!

Mental note: Get refund for hypnosis class...

[WreckWench]

Now darling was that a 'snap' or a 'smack'???? Be careful which you receive!!!

p.s. fortunately my beau is not the jealous type so you are safe....for now that is! He'll be more worried what I would do so he lets me handle it!

Mental note: Get refund for hypnosis class...

Oh...don't do that when I'm drinking....I have water EVERYWHERE

[finGrabber]

Now darling was that a 'snap' or a 'smack'???? Be careful which you receive!!!

p.s. fortunately my beau is not the jealous type so you are safe....for now that is! He'll be more worried what I would do so he lets me handle it!

Mental note: Get refund for hypnosis class...

all is not lost

all you have to do is send a watch with gold chain to Wenchie; then have her read your post again - I bet it works!!

[Scubatooth]

I cant believe im gonna post this as i over heard its saturday night and about a dozen people hit the floor.

hey baby whats your sign, because I think were a match.

When i heard that i shot a mojito through my nose(burned bad), and the rest of the group i as with was on the floor laughing.

as for pick up lines if you have to use someone elses material thats not a good thing as it shows no orginality.

[seafox]

I am not very good at this, pickup lines that is, but I have performed that one a few times!
Worked a few times!

Cornel

From the classic, but corny file...

"Do you believe in love at first sight, or shall I walk past again..."

[jextract]

My favorite one that I've ever heard was spoken to a girl I happened to be standing next to in a bar when I was in my early 20s. A guy walked up to her and asked, "could I interest you in a multiple orgasm?" She was speechless, but the guy was unfazed. He simply said, "no? OK, maybe later..." and walked away.

Classic.

[shadragon]

all is not lost

all you have to do is send a watch with gold chain to Wenchie; then have her read your post again - I bet it works!!

Ummm, WW... Can I have your mailing address...? I want to send you a... ummm... errmmm... ummm... T-shirt! Yeah a T-shirt, that will work... A shiny gold T-shirt with a chain...

Thanks finGrabber...

Edited by shadragon, 06 February 2007 - 06:18 AM.

[WreckWench]

all is not lost

all you have to do is send a watch with gold chain to Wenchie; then have her read your post again - I bet it works!!

Ummm, WW... Can I have your mailing address...? I want to send you a... ummm... errmmm... ummm... T-shirt! Yeah a T-shirt, that will work... A shiny gold T-shirt with a chain...

Thanks finGrabber...

Me thinks my new friend is not the sharpest tack in the box...cuz my address is all over the site!

OTOH...me thinks me can forgive anything as long as its 'gold'! Just so happens to be my favorite color and metal!!

Whoops...note to self...this was a flirt with fingrabber so that he could establish contact...Duh! Rmember to send apology to Fingrabber for being so

[shadragon]

Whoops...note to self...this was a flirt with fingrabber so that he could establish contact...Duh!

Ummm, WW... If you look at finGrabber's profile you can see a rather nice head and shoulder picture. Pretty sure she is a "her" not a "he"... Will send over my tack sharpening stone when I am done with it... *ahem*

We now return to our thread, already in progress...

Man: Do you know how much a polar bear weighs?
Woman: No.
Man: Enough to break the ice. Hi my name's...


or


You have been very naughty! Go to my room!


or


Man: Have I shown you my magic watch? It tells me that you're not wearing any underwear ...
Woman: Nice try, I am wearing underwear.
Man: (Tapping it with finger) Shoot ... It must be an hour fast.