15 replies to this topic

[WreckWench]

Ok go I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

[Dennis]

Girls, you can flirt and/or tease all you want. It will make my ego feel good, but that is all it's going to do.

Kamala, this one used to be hard for me to determine, way back in the olden days. Flirting can be many things to people. It is always a bit naughty and fun and can be fun for both parties. The results can be not so fun if one of the two doesn't understand the situation. Teasing is only fun for one person, at least in my mind.

Flirting between two people that are interested in each other romantically can be magic. It can lead to a lot of interesting things as we all know.

Flirting between friends can also be a lot of fun, but both parties have to know it's only flirting and that's it. I have a couple of very good lady friends that I can flirt with and they flirt back. We all know it is just in fun.

Teasing, in my opinion is when someone makes another think they are interested romantically, but really has no intention of getting involved at all. That to me is just mean and hurtful.

How do you know? You will find out, but you have to take a chance.

[annasea]

Girls, you can flirt and/or tease all you want. It will make my ego feel good, but that is all it's going to do.

Kamala, this one used to be hard for me to determine, way back in the olden days. Flirting can be many things to people. It is always a bit naughty and fun and can be fun for both parties. The results can be not so fun if one of the two doesn't understand the situation. Teasing is only fun for one person, at least in my mind.

Flirting between two people that are interested in each other romantically can be magic. It can lead to a lot of interesting things as we all know.

Flirting between friends can also be a lot of fun, but both parties have to know it's only flirting and that's it. I have a couple of very good lady friends that I can flirt with and they flirt back. We all know it is just in fun.

Teasing, in my opinion is when someone makes another think they are interested romantically, but really has no intention of getting involved at all. That to me is just mean and hurtful.

How do you know? You will find out, but you have to take a chance.

Excellent post, Dennis!

[jonjon]

Ok go I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

In my opinion (for legal reasons) flirting and teasing can be interpreted many different ways, depends on the individual doing flrt/teas and who is the recipiant. We all come from different backgrounds and therefore respond differently. The most important factor is the level of comfort on both sides, then I believe the next would be the situation you are in at the moment. I have witnessed guys attempt to flirt with women that probably were not attracted to them, that also could change the interpretation.
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[Dennis]

Excellent post, Dennis!

Why thank you very much.

[Brinybay]

Ok so I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

Why do you ask? Has Bill been teasing you? Joke's on him, you've got a ring, so he'll have to put up or shut up! Or rather, he's just going to have to put up, when you think about it. Lucky bastard!

[WreckWench]

Ok so I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

Why do you ask? Has Bill been teasing you? Joke's on him, you've got a ring, so he'll have to put up or shut up! Or rather, he's just going to have to put up, when you think about it. Lucky bastard!

Now THAT is flirting...or is it really teasing???

Either way it meant in fun and even a bit of complement...

Why do you ask?

I flirted with someone...and they flirted with me or maybe it was the other way around...in any case I got a pm saying I shouldn't flirt like that...it could be construed as teasing and I didn't want to hurt anyone. Well they are right...I don't want to hurt anyone...so I'm asking the question...is it flirting or teasing and how do you know?

[Brinybay]

Ok so I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

Why do you ask? Has Bill been teasing you? Joke's on him, you've got a ring, so he'll have to put up or shut up! Or rather, he's just going to have to put up, when you think about it. Lucky bastard!

Now THAT is flirting...or is it really teasing???

Either way it meant in fun and even a bit of complement...

Why do you ask?

I flirted with someone...and they flirted with me or maybe it was the other way around...in any case I got a pm saying I shouldn't flirt like that...it could be construed as teasing and I didn't want to hurt anyone. Well they are right...I don't want to hurt anyone...so I'm asking the question...is it flirting or teasing and how do you know?

This is interesting. I remember a couple of times when I was accused of flirting with women who were "off limits", when I thought I was just being friendly and enjoying their company. The thought of trying to get their romantic attention never crossed my mind. And the attention I was giving these women varied widely. One occasion was at a friend's place and we were playing cards and having drinks. The host's wife was a very witty and likable person, and I was having a good time talking and joking with her. One of my friends pulled me aside and told me the hubby was getting pissed because he thought I was "flirting" with her. It floored me because I had no such intentions. And keep in mind I'm not a "touchy-feely" type of person when it comes to casual relations.

On another occasion, all I did was introduce myself to a woman at church. At the next service, she showed up with husband in tow and made sure I knew who he was. Sheesh, I can't even say boo to anybody?!

On yet a third situation, I was trying to help a female classmate in college find some reference material in the library. I was just explaining how to look it up and she said I was making her nervous. Never did figure that one out. Women are wierd.

[Dennis]

Women are wierd.

I will agree that some are. Some men are weird, too.

Some women think if you treat them nice, you are interested. Those women have usually been treated badly by men for most of their lives. That is sad, not weird.

Any women out there that want to refute my analysis can go ahead. This has been my experience over the years.

[WreckWench]

First I agree with Annasea...Dennis your post was spot on...and very insightful!

Greg aka Brinybay...you have touched on a common theme of frustration that many have encountered which is if you are friendly to someone you are flirting. Truth of the matter is...you probably were in some sense as I think flirting starts off in being nice vs. being mean and it progresses as you get positive feedback. While it may start off with no romantic intention...it could develop as the banter progresses and increases.

Many men have no idea how to even be friendly...in your case we need to have you be friendly to more available gals!

Thank you for sharing...it is nice to hear the other side of the coin!

[Brinybay]

Greg aka Brinybay...in your case we need to have you be friendly to more available gals!

I'm out of the market I'm happy to say!

Edited by Brinybay, 06 February 2007 - 12:34 PM.

[shadragon]

Ok go I gotta ask...is it flirting or teasing? And how can you tell? Afterall everyone says that flirting is good for you but teasing is not. Then others say that teasing is perfect so how do you know which is which and when its bad????

From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flirting

"Flirting is often described as casual conversation with a romantic touch, but it need not be spoken interaction at all."


From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Teasing

"Teasing is the act of playfully disturbing another person, either with words or with actions. In mild cases, and especially when it is reciprocal, it is essentially a form of playing (friendly teasing). However, teasing can be also used as painful harassment (cruel teasing). In extreme cases it may escalate to real violence, and may even result in abuse (in the case of a child: child abuse)."

So teasing would seen to have a slightly more negative connotation than flirting. So by definition, if it is welcome then it is flirting. If it is unwelcome then it is teasing. Another definition for teasing was: "arousing sexual desire without intending to satisfy it", which is certainly negative. I guess you could argue that if you were arousing sexual desire with an intent to satisfy it, that would be foreplay.

...as for when is it bad, that is up to the individuals involved as everyone is different. This is where good communication comes in.

I flirted my way into a discount yesterday. Was buying a large toboggan and after a few seconds of polite conversation I invited the cashier to go for a slide with me (she was 55 or so). She was laughing quite a bit and told me I qualified for a 20% "tall and handsome" discount which she knocked off the price. I made her feel good and she reciprocated.

My $0.02 anyway.

[Brinybay]

I flirted my way into a discount yesterday. Was buying a large toboggan and after a few seconds of polite conversation I invited the cashier to go for a slide with me (she was 55 or so). She was laughing quite a bit and told me I qualified for a 20% "tall and handsome" discount which she knocked off the price. I made her feel good and she reciprocated.

My $0.02 anyway.

So is it only 10% off if you're only average height and handsome?

[shadragon]

So is it only 10% off if you're only average height and handsome?

Well, she was only 5'2" so I guess that is relative to who you are talking too at the time...

(Added after) I try to make peoples lives easier, but not necessarily through flirting. Waitresses would be the best example I can think of. If they are having a hard day you can make them smile with some polite chat or a little joking. They feel better and usually it helps things.

A female friend of mine has a theory that if you give someone else a smile it will travel from person to person for a while and come back to you when you need it the most.

I like that theory.

Edited by shadragon, 06 February 2007 - 11:35 AM.

[jeff]

friends; strangers; romantic hopes:::: when you meet someone new, you are also meeting every single person that has ever said or done something to this new person. Wouldn't it be great to start fresh when you meet someone new. You are judged by them and compared to their past.

It is impossible to know when and who you will offend. You can even offend one person on one day but never would have happened if it was a different day.