91 replies to this topic

[happy2dive]

Hello Coppermaus,

Nice to know you've seen the better side of Amsterdam. I guess you can understand why I call this home although it's not a diver's paradise. Where else can you find all the cultural attractions and events of a major world city, work within reasonable distance from home, reach everywhere within minutes either by bike or by an excellent system of public transport if it's raining. I used to live in the city center in a house that was over a hundred years old. It was very picturesque. Now I live 15 minutes cycling from the center 45 mins if I walk, next to a large park. My view from two of my rooms on the fourth floor is just a sea of trees, not a single building in sight. What I can see from my window in terms of wildlife is almost bizarre for a city, pheasants, herons, seagulls, parakeets (some pets that got free and proliferated), jays, Siberian jays, woodpeckers, cuckoos, geese, mallards, ducks, grieves, robins, tits (not the mammalian type), magpies, even buzzards on occasion.

greetings
H2D

[GentDiver]

A guy sent me a instant message just yesterday saying "Hi there. I'm watching you. Very disappointed that you're wearing clothes. JUST KIDDING!"

See that is an example of what I don't understand about people. Why would you do that. I mean would you make that comment in public to someone.

The couple of times I have tried to meet someone from a dating site I made sure it was a public resturant and was for a specific amount of time (lunch works great). That way you get to meet the person, but if you find out that they are a nut case you don't have to come up with an excuse.

As for SD, this place is great. It reminds me of my first online community. Everyone is friendly and treats other's with respect. I 2 feel very comfortable here.

[webhead]

I've meet some women from online personals. I have to agree with some other folks here, while women have the advantage of being more in demand, they also have higher risk. But I think the risks are not as bad as the rewards, especially since you can control some of them. So I hope you don't think it's not worth the effort.

My advice, which is something I don't see on dating.com or match.com, is to make sure you have a separate email address JUST FOR DATING. This should be one that you can delete or change any time you want. If anyone needs help on this, let me know. I still offer free computer help from time to time. :-) In fact for women, you may be doing this once a month just to stop all the unwanted messages. Helps cut down on spam too. If there is someone you want to keep in touch with, send them your new address. If someone is bothering you, send them ONE polite "not interested" email. If they don't get the hint, don't reply to any other messages. Block them if you can (depending on the web site) or change email addresses. Filters can help keep unwanted messages from your in box but nothing defuses the situation like a "number is no longer in service" message. Without any way to contact you (assuming no personal info has been given other than first name and city where you live NEAR), that should end a bad situation. Sort of like road rage advice - don't make eye contact. You have the right to walk away even when sitting in front of a pc.

All the other advice is 100% accurate as well - use common sense, protect yourself, remove yourself from the situation if your are uncomfortable. Remember, if it was meant to be, it will be so don't be pressured to make something work out. There will be others down the road. We all just need to find the right one for us.

As for the comments about how things go from the 1st phone call to 1st meeting and waiting for the 2nd date... that's just dating. Same rules and apprehensions and games that happen when you meet on the street. So to have bad experiences and blame it on the way you met is not fair. Just be yourself, show respect, relax and tell the truth. If that doesn't get you a 2nd date then you probably sat and stared at each other the whole nite. lol.

Sorry for the winded post. Just something I've been involved with for a few months now. I definitely have a different approach and set of rules since starting. I've made some new friends and don't regret any meetings so far. And I hope that others will find online dating to be a better alternative to combing the docks looking for the perfect match.

[ddierolf]

I met my wife through the internet (She is from Singapore). I met all of you through the internet. Darn, I better unplug this thing quick! I have met alot of good people through the net. After a little while you can kind of read through the BS by asking certain questions and most importantly , PAYING ATTENTION to the RESPONSES. I always recommend to any female friends that they Always take a friend with them to meet anyone the first time and in a public place. If the person can't agree to meet you with one of your friends, then something is not right!
Just my $0.02 worth.

Dennis

[EbonyMermaid]

Hey Diver Lady!  I have had great experiences meeting up with people from the internet to dive with...just think I met you via the internet!  I've also met Dandy Don, Wreck Wench, Bradford NC, and a few others...all great experiences.

Well exactly, VaScubaGirl!! So far my internet meeting of people has been fabulous!! I met everyone on the Coz trip plus a few local divers.

So far, so good!!

Diverlady

Just be careful, everything that glitters ain't gold. Some people have got to touch the iron, even after being told it's hot. We either see your face on a milk carton, or on the next dive trip, which will it be?

[drbill]

I've been fortunate and met some very nice people on the 'Net, and one or two harmless (and amusing) nut cases. Nothing I'd be concerned about. However years ago I met a woman who definitely was nutzo and that was through a letter I sent to her company about their great products. Older technology but worse result.

Doc

[TheSassyRabbit]

I think meeting someone on the internet is just an extension of real life. I've met people in person - through friends - who have turned out to be wierd, and some that are cool. The same is true for the net. Your pool is just bigger. I agree with all of the safety concerns - but those are true now for anyone you meet. I wouldn't let someone I met at a bar/dancing/through friends, etc.. pick me up for a first date... nor would I let someone from the internet pick me up for a first date.

My brother met his wife on the internet and she is awesome! So, there must be some merit to it somewhere!

[canuckdiver]

My brother met his wife on the internet and she is awesome! So, there must be some merit to it somewhere!

hmmm, so there's hope for me yet???

[Oral]

Well now, I met Kamala thru the internet, didn't hurt a bit.

Oral

[Sophia]

I was on one those matchmakers sites for 3 months. I noticed that about 20% of the men were genuine guys who were looking for someone. The rest were looking for a one night stand. I don't know why they expected to get lucky. My impression is that women have a lot easier time obtaining easy sex than men, so why would a woman go to the trouble of a internet site? But then, what do I know.

What those matchmaker sites need is a feedback system like ebay. Maybe a multiple choice option to avoid flaming. Options could be. "Nice guy, just didn't float my boat", "10 years and 50 pounds heavier", "looking for quick sex." That way the flakes would be high-lighted as such, and the normal people could stand out.

[Mishelle]

I think you just have to come up with a "screening" system that works for you and lay down ground rules from day one. Since I am a single mom, I have to be extremely cautious of who I meet...but I think everyone does. If someone can not respect my need to take the time to get to know them before I meet them, then obviously they are not worth the time I would have wasted. I do think caution is wise in any situation, but just like in real life, you will meet great people and then you will meet those who leave a lot to be desired. To each his own I guess. But I will say, I met my two best friends in the whole world on the net, and I thank God everyday for them

[fldiverbob]

I agree totally that you need to use extra caution when meeting people on the internet. That is why I am bringing friends with me next week when I go down south and dive with Marvel. If she doesn't behave, we will throw her overboard!!

[Mishelle]

LOL Poor Marv! Well you better behave too or it might be you making a splash!

[fldiverbob]

I will be on my best behavior!!! Promise

[Marvel]

I will be on my best behavior!!! Promise

You'd better be!! I'm bringing Guido & the gang with me...