31 replies to this topic

[techintime]

Oh am I going to get in trouble here, but I can't help myself

First...what a cool thread...too funny...a bunch of single folks, half or more of us divorced, asking each other about the answers to male/female relationships...

Here's my totally unqualified opinion based on numerous failed relationships (but still trying)

Maybe I should just shut up...nah here goes

Real men.....open doors, pay for dinner, pick up their dates, deliver them home at the end of the night, admit when they're wrong, train their minds and their bodies to be strong and fit, do the dirty difficult dangerous tasks, are ready to die defending their families, country, neighbors, even strangers if it is needed and just, work til they die, drink coffee not tea, wear old T-shirts, get dirty, live dangerously and are adventurous at least sometimes, see the world in black-and-white, right-and-wrong and not in shades-of-grey, have no idea of what "being true to yourself" means because they always are, don't believe that there is such a thing as "balance" or "trying too hard" because they play to win, are simple uncomplicated creatures who say what they mean, and mean it when they say for in good times and bad, till death do us part. I can go on here but think that's enough. Lastly real men don't see any of this as being a doormat.

Now I'm really going to go out on a limb and speak for "real women". Real women may like sweet, sensitive, guys, and will be friends with them and even recommend them to their friends...but for themselves, they love and marry real men (see traits above).

Peter, what the heck is a "marriage equivalent"?

Standing by.

Edited by cmt489, 18 April 2009 - 07:30 PM.

[Victoria]

Holy smokes! Where've you been all my life!

You're absolutely spot-on. Are there any more like you out there?? Just wondering!

Victoria

[weescot]

What an interesting thread - and a great question well asked.

I have to agree that you should always just be yourself. Most women I know appreciate a chivalrous man, demonstrated with either gestures, actions or offers of either. What has confused this in recent times is the fact that many women lead independent lives (evolved by design or defalut) and are used to doing it, or having the means to do it all for themselves. when offers of "old fashioned stuff" comes along, it requires some temporary recalibration - and if you don't know the guy, how that "recalibration" is received can be interesting.

Personally however, guys can open doors, change my tyres, pay restaurant bills, sneak a respectful glance at my ass etc. What really counts is successfully anticipating/knowing how women respond to such gestures or actions - that is what sets a shrewd, senstive gentleman apart from the the crowd.

And I think Peter means a marraige eqivalent is a "bidey in" - http://www.urbandict...p?term=bidey-in

[Sassi]

Let me make this brief: Those of us who worked with you at BTS last weekend are well aware that you go out of your way to be as nice and helpful as possible.

HERE HERE - okay, so I'm a little late to the thread...but you know waht they say about being late......

You try to do the right thing and go out of your way to be as nice and helpful as possible only to find out that you haven't been "man enough" or made her work for your interest.

Maybe I'm just getting old - but I personally like someone who goes out of their way to be nice. I don't think that doesn't make them man enough. I think it makes them a gentleman.

Summary: If balance isn't in the big picture, IMO... the waters are dangerous!

I have to agree with that as well - balance is key. Without it then yea, you could (or even she could) end up being taken advantage of.

[cmt489]

Real men.....open doors, pay for dinner, pick up their dates, deliver them home at the end of the night, admit when they're wrong, train their minds and their bodies to be strong and fit, do the dirty difficult dangerous tasks, are ready to die defending their families, country, neighbors, even strangers if it is needed and just, work til they die, drink coffee not tea, wear old T-shirts, get dirty, live dangerously and are adventurous at least sometimes, see the world in black-and-white, right-and-wrong and not in shades-of-grey, have no idea of what "being true to yourself" means because they always are, don't believe that there is such a thing as "balance" or "trying too hard" because they play to win, are simple uncomplicated creatures who say what they mean, and mean it when they say for in good times and bad, till death do us part. I can go on here but think that's enough. Lastly real men don't see any of this as being a doormat.

Now I'm really going to go out on a limb and speak for "real women". Real women may like sweet, sensitive, guys, and will be friends with them and even recommend them to their friends...but for themselves, they love and marry real men (see traits above).

Damn. According to this, I'm not a "real" woman. The good news is that George is also not a "real" man...

Personally, I am not a fan of anyone, male or female, that has a weak personality. However, I measure strength in very different ways. To me, it take a stronger person to see things in shades of grey than black and white. Equally, it takes a much bigger person to admit when they are wrong and to see their partner's differing point of view (they may not have to agree with that point of view, but they do have to recognize that it exists and work with it). In my opinion, real men are strong, complex individuals - just like real women.

As for drinking tea and wearing old T-shirts, I wasn't aware that a man's beverage preferences and fashion choices dictated whether or not he was a real man. Actually, quite to the contrary. To me, real men don't have anything to prove by what they drink or wear. They just are - plus, they look good doing it in clean, well made clothing...

[DLYNCHX]

Learn about them, find out what they want & give it to them but let them know what you want in return. Don't give them what they say they want or what you think they need, because those are all different things. Women (and men) often say what people want to hear, but that isn't always the truth. Find out the truth, and go get some action, Player!

Since this site seems to have a lot of very intelligent and reasonable members, I thought I'd through out a topic for the ages. I'm sure there is no right or wrong answer but hope to get a lot of insight and ideas on the subject.

I've been involved with a discussion with a wonderful lady about the fine line between being a gentleman or a doormat. I'm sure for the ladies the question could be between being a lady and using someone (sorry don't know a better way to say it). You try to do the right thing and go out of your way to be as nice and helpful as possible only to find out that you haven't been "man enough" or made her work for your interest. Of course, then it is too late and nothing you can do to change impressions. But you never really learn as no one really wants to talk about it. What do you do the next time? I know the answer is to just be yourself, but if you are a nice guy or nice girl how do you know when you are doing too much and not gaining any respect from the person you are interested in.

Thanks for any input.

Dave

[scrappykidz]

... drink coffee not tea, wear old T-shirts....

Crud... so tea/sugar/cream & my frilly hats leave me way outside the reservation...

... back to our regularly scheduled lurking... alone... lonely... and totaly emasculated

Edited by scrappykidz, 08 December 2009 - 09:21 AM.

[WreckWench]

... drink coffee not tea, wear old T-shirts....

Crud... so tea/sugar/cream & my frilly hats leave me way outside the reservation...

... back to our regularly scheduled lurking... alone... lonely... and totaly emasculated

[BeachJunkie]

Ahhh the "Friend Zone". Everyone has pretty much stated all there is to say. I'm just amused that it still happens no matter what age you are. Lucky for me... I"m a "manly man"

[Landlocked Dive Nut]

Ahhh the "Friend Zone". Everyone has pretty much stated all there is to say. I'm just amused that it still happens no matter what age you are. Lucky for me... I"m a "manly man"

And we have the mermaid pictures to prove it!

ya, Sam!

[damselfish]

Come on LLDN, POST THEM!!! We'll be the judge if he's more mermaid or MERMAN! - D

[uwfan]

Oh he's DEFINITELY quite the mermaid! And I have to say quite the merman in the water too, an excellent diver!

[BeachJunkie]

HAHAHA you HAVE to be quite the "manly man" in order to wear something like that!!

[WreckWench]

HAHAHA you HAVE to be quite the "manly man" in order to wear something like that!!

Yes you do...and you are PERFECT for the job!

A real catch ladies if he is looking!

[BeachJunkie]

Sweet Jesus no you didn't haha. Wow, I almost forgot how out of control that costume was. Man I'm like radioactive white hahaha. Well, I still open doors for ladies so that's gotta count for somethin!