FOR SOME REASON THIS DID NOT POST...will try again! Leslie...you did a much better job of summing up my thoughts than I did...
Ellen...I am glad you feel safe here...its HARD to develop a safe haven and enforce it. Its HARD to create an open environment where divers feel welcome and accepted and secure and genuinely liked either on the net or on trips regardless of their diving and life experiences. And its hard to stay the course even when you have created such an environment.
WHY? Because its contrary to most of the world we live in. Its contrary to the clique oriented environments we live and operate in. And its hard to be accepting of people that are different than we are...to peel back the layers to really get to know someone...to accept them when they may appear to be 'odd' or 'different' up front and not judge a book by the cover... or pass judgement too quickly. To attain this level of inclusion takes a lot of work and effort and determination. And its a risk... SD takes this risk every time we run a trip that is OPEN TO EVERYONE. When you do not know anyone the risk of *possibly not liking someone* is less than the alternative of always being by yourself. But as you develop friends here and enlarge your diving circle then its harder to take the risk of *some PITA* being on a trip and ruining your vacation. Its easier to fall back on going with a group of friends you KNOW already and you KNOW will be fun and you KNOW will be nice. And there is nothing wrong with that...we hope you join our group trips anyway or just let us book your travel and save you some money. But what happens when you put that trip together? What happens if you are not on the "exclusive invitee list"? Do you feel left out? Do you feel "included"? And if you are on the highly coveted "exclusive invitee list" then you usually will feel "special" and "wanted"...part of the "cool kids"...but for how long? The foundation is not based upon inclusion but rather exclusion. So in time the very thing that worked ...now no longer works because the foundation is not the same.
Discussions such as these are invaluable for several reasons. First it enables new members to know we are the
REAL DEAL and we are a safe, secure and fun group! Secondly it enables us to determine if the value proposition for SD is still needed, wanted, and desirable. There will come a day...possibly sooner than I like where SD will no longer withstand the tests of time. My goal is to recognize that inevitable before it happens so I can slowly and smoothly transition the site down to fewer and fewer trips. The most horrible thing in the world would be for SD to crash and burn so rapidly that everything it has stood for and everything good it has accomplished and represented is lost in the collateral damage.
Thank you for the chance to have such discussions...and thank you all for caring and appreciating what we have WITH ALL OF YOUR EFFORTS AND CONTRIBUTIONS CREATED....
SingleDivers.com is the sum of its glorious parts...the Ellen's and Leslie's and every other person on this site!