330 replies to this topic

[David Evans]

You're the first person to publicly pick up on that!

Ahem.

http://www.singlediv...indpost&p=89931

[annasea]

You're the first person to publicly pick up on that! 

Ahem.

http://www.singlediv...indpost&p=89931

OOPS!!!

Please forgive my faux pas, David. I must have been off elsewhere, entranced by tales of drdiver's monkeys...

Edited by annasea, 01 July 2005 - 01:40 PM.

[ddierolf]

You're the first person to publicly pick up on that! 

Ahem.

http://www.singlediv...indpost&p=89931

OOPS!!!

Please forgive my faux pas, David. I must have been off elsewhere, entranced by tales of drdiver's monkeys...

Yes, I have heard that monkey love is rather entrancing!

[drdiver]

Yes, I have heard that monkey love is rather entrancing! bigscream.gif

You jest ask Kamala--Mandrake floats her boat!!!

[ddierolf]

Yes, I have heard that monkey love is rather entrancing! bigscream.gif

You jest ask Kamala--Mandrake floats her boat!!!

and here I thought he peeled her banana's

Edited by ddierolf, 01 July 2005 - 01:54 PM.

[drdiver]

[/QUOTE]and here I thought he peeled her banana's teeth.gif[quote][/quote]

No, man, she peeled HIS banana........

Edited by drdiver, 01 July 2005 - 01:58 PM.

[ddierolf]

[quote name='drdiver' date='Jul 1 2005, 02:55 PM'] [/QUOTE]and here I thought he peeled her banana's teeth.gif[quote][/quote]

No, man, she peeled his banana........ [/quote]
Ohhh to be a monkey

[Basslet]

You're the first person to publicly pick up on that! 

Ahem.

http://www.singlediv...indpost&p=89931

Yeah, but who the hell knew what you were talking about? :lam:

[Scott]

Good question and several good replies so far. I am usually very up-front and to the point with most relationship type discussions, and have made the mistakes of:

1) Knowing that I was no longer interested but felt 'sorry' for the girl (how stupid is THAT? Drag her along for another few weeks when she could/should be getting on with her life) so I either just fell off of the face of the earth or in a couple of cases when I was younger just did things that I knew she didn't like so she would be the one to feel like she had the upper hand and 'broke up' with me.

In this situation I remember feeling like it would be easier on the girl to help her realize that I wasn't the ONE. In reality, though, the women were much more mature than I had credited them and I ended not only losing a good friend but had a miserable time of doing it.

2) Been litterally fearful that immediate violence would ensue...either in fear for my safety or that she would hurt herself in some way.

This has happened twice...extremely highly emotional women who should have been medicated and hopfully are now for the World's sake!

3) Overestimated my value to her and mistakenly thought I was doing her a favor by continuing the sham...

What a rude awakening when I saw them out on other dates in a few weeks! I quickly learned that I really wasn't 'all that!'

4) I didn't want to give up the night time entertainment....but didn't want the day time tribulations.

This is the worst possible case scenario in my experience and I'm glad to say that the last time I tried to pull that was well over a decade ago!

In general, nowadays, it is very easy for me to be upfront and honest about my feelings and it has worked out much better for everyone involved. I can honestly say that there is only one woman that I have broken up with in the last 5-7 years that I would not feel comfortable calling up just to say Hi...and that is only because when I left I still adored/loved the woman and it broke my heart but she was an unremoreseful alchoholic and I could not allow myself to continue watching her ruin herself.

Of course I start off relationships much slower now than I used to as well so we have time to get to know eachother before anything serious is going to happen.

[blacklatexozdiver]

[quote name='ddierolf' date='Jul 2 2005, 03:58 AM'] [quote name='drdiver' date='Jul 1 2005, 02:55 PM'] [/QUOTE]and here I thought he peeled her banana's teeth.gif[QUOTE][/QUOTE]

No, man, she peeled his banana........ [/QUOTE]
Ohhh to be a monkey [/quote]
Were they monkeying around?

[drbill]

Looking back to the way Annasea started this thread, I think the book title can apply to either gender.

Many of you know of my attachment to dive buddy #1 (name withheld to protrect her innocence??). We had been friends for nearly 5 years, really enjoy diving with one another, taken dive trips together, had a lot of fun together, said we loved one another (in whatever ways we both meant it). She knew I wanted to be with her as more than a friend and dive buddy (although those are pretty important relationships to me still). Her response was that it was the wrong timing since she was with her BF of three years.

Then two weeks ago she e-mails me that she is breaking up with her then-BF. Now, knowing my desire to develop our relationship, I e-mail her back saying "maybe this is the RIGHT time for us"). Her response was a very curt "I'm not 'hooking up' with you).

I don't 'hook up' with women (a phrase that to me connotes a sexual encounter with no emotional content). I would never even suggest such a thing (well, unless I was certain the answer would be 'yes').

If she felt "nothing more" than a strong friendship for me, I would understand that. But why say she loved me (in whatever way she meant) and then act so strangely curt to me. My feeling is that she is breaking up (yes, it's still an on-going process) with her BF because she's met someone else in her life. That's OK too.

Fortunately her reply was so curt that it threw me off balance and made me really evaluate our friendship (which I hope will survive reasonably intact- she is AWESOME to dive with). Equally fortunate I just happened to meet another woman diver about that time who seems to really be interested in me, and the feeling is mutual (although certainly no "rebound").

Women- can you honestly say to a man "I'm just not that interested in you?" If not, is this really a human vs a gender thing?

Dr. Bill

[sfret]

Truth? Not too many people handle the truth too well is my experience. Most people want only the positive truth.

"You want the truth? You can't handle the truth !!!! " -Jack Nicholson

He was the bad guy in the movie. But, the statement is true.

As for why men don't back off? We are competative. That's why we beat each other up in sports. More hard to swallow truth.

BTW. All guys are interested in most women who are romantic and uplifting to them. It's our ego. We just hope you take good care of your health (that's the trophy aspect).

Edited by sfret, 23 July 2005 - 06:40 AM.

[Mishelle]

We just hope you take good care of your health (that's the trophy aspect).

Im not sure if you intended it, but that is a pretty offensive remark.

[annasea]

We just hope you take good care of your health (that's the trophy aspect).

Im not sure if you intended it, but that is a pretty offensive remark.

All guys are interested in most women who are romantic and uplifting to them. It's our ego. We just hope you take good care of your health (that's the trophy aspect).

I think though I would go a bit further, and comment that this entire statement is potentially offensive -- to women and men, sfret.

Your statement implies that it's all about men and their ego; there is no sense of give-and-take between men and women. Women are just there to provide men with the ego boost you seem to think they so desperately need (I do not believe all men feel this way), and receive whatever the man decides they need in return, i.e. being taken care of.

sfret, we can make our own decisions about what is best for us. Occasionally we might ask for input, but the decision is ultimately ours. As well, in general, women do not need a man to take care of their health. We can do that fine on our own, thank you very much. (At least the ones I know.)

[ScubaPunk]

Women- can you honestly say to a man "I'm just not that interested in you?" If not, is this really a human vs a gender thing?

drbill - I am 100% positive, without a shread of doubt, that it is a human vs a gender thing.

As for this friend of yours, don't write her off just yet. If she's going through a breakup, maybe she's deflecting some of her anger towards you without really meaning it. She could be looking for reassurance from you, that you are not looking for "just a hookup". Of course there are better ways to find out.

I usually stay out of these threads, because I am the last person to offer advice in relationships, but I would hate to see a potential relationship go down the drain because of a misunderstanding or poor communication.

SP