I agree with ScubaPunk as well, although I think too much emphasis is being put on her communication as the problem.
Although all I know about you and this particular dive buddy is what you've written, this is my take on the situation:
She's going through a (probably) difficult and painful break-up from a man she's been seeing for over 3 years, I believe. During this time, she's been diving with this great guy from Catalina Island who has expressed interest in her over a period of time. Now that the break-up is pretty much a done deal, this Catalina guy thinks it's OK to make his move and declares, "Maybe now is the time for us!" (Or words to that effect.)
Personally, I'd be a bit put off as well, drbill. (I'm extremely sensitive though. 
) What your comment would say to me is that you're glad that other guy is FINALLY out of the way so you can now take your shot. It doesn't indicate any empathy for the woman or how she is currently feeling. It just seems like you want to get the show on the road and get what you want, without being considerate of what she may want or need at this time. Make sense? 
drbill, from your writings here and elsewhere, I have no doubt that you are a most genuine, caring, considerate, sensitive man, so please take no offense at what I wrote, but based on how you described the situation, this is my take on it. As well, I'm sure your dive buddy realizes you're a great guy too, but her mindset may be a bit askew at the moment, and perhaps your words are being misunderstood.
+ 
+ 
and all the other *good* emoticons, my friend!
Annasea... give the information you had, your assessment could be a likely one. However, there are elements you are not aware of (and that I have not stated). The woman in question stated that she was emotionally and physically detached from her current BF for at least six months before this breakup. She was the one who initiated it. Although I'm sure there is some confusion on her part, I don't think it is because of any pain associated with the breakup.
She had discussed the breakup with me as early as 5 months ago, maybe more. It was more a question of when rather than IF. We had discussed a relationship between the two of us during this period as well. We both knew the timing was not right as long as she was with the now ex BF.
There are several other factors that evolved over the five years we've known each other. I think they would make my actions more understandable, they would also involve revealing things that are better kept private for her sake (not mine). Suffice it to say that Twinklez post comes very close to describing the situation, at least as I perceived it.
Given what I had written, you came to a very logical conclusion, and I certainly take no offense. Given the detachment she has shown towards her ex BF for many months, I don't think there is much pain on her side. However, all breakups do carry some indecision and disruption.
We will see how she feels once the dust has settled. However, I am commiting myself to pursuing a relationship with the woman who offers clearer communication of her intent. I am a terrible game player, and even the closest friends of my earlier dive buddy consider her (DB #1) to be one who plays games. However, I'd never felt she did so with me until recently.
And thanks Walter. Hope you will get back out here some day. I have been seeing LOTS of black sea bass with long encounters (5 to 22 min) and plenty of footage. All it took was taking my eyes off my camera viewfinder occasionally, or having a dive buddy with good eyes like my nephew.
Dr. Bill
Edited by drbill, 27 July 2005 - 01:01 AM.
