100 replies to this topic

[Brinybay]

There was a thread in here where one of the lady's on the board had discovered online dating and had never had any experience with it. I can't find the thread, but my response, based on my own personal experiences with online dating, was negative. I found yet another reason to stay away from it:

http://apnews.myway..../D89QNJ000.html

[drbill]

Wow... I wondered where those Date.com matches were e-mailing from!

Actually I've met a few nice ladies via Internet dating web sites. Nothing really clicked except with one, but then she "disappeared" (she was being harrassed by an ex-boyfriend and I think she returned to her home in Shanghai). However none of the ladies were real SCUBA divers despite writing that they enjoyed diving in their profiles. I wonder why I still waste time on the sites.

Dr. Bill

[rkohler1]

I have had had good and bad experiences with on-line dating. I have found that over time I have learned to read between the lines of a personal ad. 'Extra Padding' usually doesn't mean that, it usually means Lots of extra padding. I'm not going to bash here, but I have to say, I have met more wonderful women and had great relationships than I have the opposite. Maybe I am lucky or just simple.

[Fin-again]

Not all internet meetings are bad. I have met several very fine women who were “real” divers via the online dating sights. We made several dives together and all were very enjoyable. In general I’ve had a very positive experience with the online method of meeting, dating and diving. Several of the women I’ve met have become long term friends even though we weren’t the “one” for each other romantically. I love to dive; if they do also it means we share several things in common right from the beginning, among them a love for travel, diving, exotic beaches and stories of past journeys both good and bad. It gives us a lot to talk about while getting to know each other on other levels.

Fin-again

[Hipshot]

I've had mostly good experiences with online dating. Even if there never got to be a date #2, usually it was still good company, even if the chemistry wasn't there. Usually, after a few e-mails and a phone conversation or two, it becomes apparent whether or not she's for real or a put-on. Also, the women that I've met online were generally much more intelligent than the women I've met at singles functions. Ladies, if you're reading this online, then you know what category you're in.

Rick



Any guy can give you the key to his bedroom, but a real man gives you the key to his heart.--Leslie McKey

[Marvel]

I discovered SCUBA through an on line dating experience. Although things did not work out romantically, we are still good friends & I can never thank him enough for intorducing me to SCUBA!

[steelemagnolia6]

I've made some pretty good friends from on line dating but no I haven't found hte love of my life.... but there is still hope!!!!

I hope he dives, I hope he has a boat, I hope that he has enough money to afford me and all my diving buddies (hey a gal can dream can't she)

[cmt489]

I only tried it for a short period but so far it has worked amazingly well for me!

[annasea]

I haven't tried the online dating thing but I have looked at lavalife and match.com out of curiosity.

I find the idea of internet dating to be a bit too 'pressured' for me personally - almost like a job interview. People coming forth with very specific expectations of a mate, hoping to receive and give responses tailor-made to their wants. (Match.com, especially, has struck me this way whereas lavalife seems more flexible due to their 'just dating' section - it seems more casual and less pressured.) I realise this opinion might seem rather extreme to others, but this has been the sense that I've gotten so far from some of the ads that I glanced at - whether they were male or female.

My thoughts are that such an approach might be a bit like putting the cart before the horse. An example, albeit an extreme one(!) , "I want a ranch-style house, with 2 cars, 3 kids, 4 pets, and my spouse must be . . ." Does this strike others as a somewhat self-centred approach life? To me, it seems as if some people are shopping for someone to complete their picture, with very little compromise allowed, rather than creating a picture together with another's wants and needs, which may not necessarily be what the other envisioned initially for themselves.

My thought has always been to remain open to people and situations because I might find something that I never knew I wanted and that might prove to inevitably make me happy in the end, not what I thought I wanted! (Too much of a dreamer? I don't know . . . )

But congratulations to you, Michelle! You seem to be the SD Poster Child for internet dating success at the moment!

I hope others find good fortune as well - whether it be via the internet or other means.

Edited by annasea, 02 May 2005 - 10:43 PM.

[Brinybay]

I find the idea of internet dating to be a bit too 'pressured' for me personally - almost like a job interview.

Jerry Seinfeld once joked that first dates are like "very long job interviews".

That's great that some of you have had good experiences with online dating. I must have a reverse "midas touch". At best, I found the online dating experience to be tedious and frustrating. At worst, I got to meet psycho's, cheaters and gold-diggers. Not for me.

[drdiver]

Have to say, it's been a great experience for me. It's helped me to define what kind of woman I'm actually looking for. I've met a couple of golddiggers, but not bad and certainly no crazy people. Those I meet in bars.........Like the "Evil One".

[DiveWrite]

I can certainly understand the frustration with online dating. I swore I would never do it, but then tried it as a bit of a lark just to see what would happen when people (i.e., all my married friends and family) wouldn't stop suggesting it to me. I met a few okay guys and got emailed by a raft of not-so-good ones. Still not quite sure why so many men read "looking for someone about my own age" and thought that included 20 to 25 years older than me, but then I looked at profiles of guys my own age and saw that many of them were shopping 10-15 years younger than themselves. In retrospect, it was very funny, but in the moment--annoying!

But I can report a tiny little success story. About 24 hours before I was going to pack in the whole online dating thing and call it a lesson learned, Handygeek (Jeff) and I met through Match.com, and a SingleDivers dive was our first official date. Complete and total love at first site (and dive!). We are now engaged and looking to get married mid-October. We could be one of those smiling, nattily dressed couples in the TV ads for online services . . . that is, if they weren't so horribly saccharine and painful to watch!

We're heading to the Lower Keys for a short camping vacation in June if anyone has any suggestions. I hear the No Name Pub is a good place to go if you can find it. Anything else?

[Cold_H2O]

How exciting.. You found a wonderful guy and a diver. There is hope for the rest of us gals. Thanks for sharing.
We want pics of the wedding. Might have to start a use to be single but found each other part of SD... aka married/couples divers...

[steelemagnolia6]

Hurray for you and Jeff.. of course we'll all be sending diving gear as wedding gifts....

[FLDiver]

I will 2nd that notion of reverse-Midas, having the same luck.

3 different dates in One Month tell me, "Oh, by the way, I'm married."
As IF it was an inconvenience ?!?!?!?

Countless instances of ...
"the man I marry must make (insert high income bracket amount here)"

No photo = be afraid, Be Very Afraid!

Clingy, co-dependent, crazy, destitute, substance-dependent, cat-dependent,
closet-smokers, workaholics, split-personalities ... AAIIIEEEEE!!!!!!

My favorite opening line ... "I don't cook!"
I -nearly- replied with, "Gee, then you must _______ pretty good!"

I've been active on/off the internet dating thing waay back in the days
of alt.personals (Usenet) in the 80s. I recall getting some fairly intelligent replies in those days, because it wasn't just anyone who had access. Usually it was those only smart enough to seek access, or those who had access thru universities, military, government jobs, etc. eMails exchanged were typically paragraphs of good conversation, not the blurps of one-liners all too common nowadays.

Try to impress someone with a good diatribe about yerself, interests, goals, loves, the works ... and I basically get back a "nice tie!" comment. If I find someone writes back more than a paragraph, my heart beats like I struck Gold!!

*sigh*

Most of my ads nowadays are deleted or turned off. I've found that in 95% of cases, if a gal does answer my ad, I really need to question why.

One time, when yahoo personals were still free to anyone, I placed a totally sarcastic ad to the effect of ... rich sugar daddy seeks princess to spoil ... free VISA card on 1st date ... must like cats. Damned if I didn't get a dozen responses overnight, only 2 of which recognized it as the ridiculous satire it was and thanked me for a good laugh!

*SIGH!*

Just let em meet me on the dive boat, happy hour, picnic, whateverrr!
so I can just meet em in person and get the vibes first.

Wait a tic ... scratch the dive boat dates ... dems da worst!