35 replies to this topic

[Basslet]

Here's a funny joke someone sent me:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I
have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting
into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do
for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one
to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit.
We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't
even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said,
"That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me
to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this
look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love
me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[In2h2o]

Hilarious!!

[drdiver]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

You need to find more friends with benefits....

[drbill]

DrDiver-

Had an interesting talk with my nephew and his friend Allison while there were out. He is a HS senior and she is attending college this year. We discussed concepts like "friends with benefits," "hooking up," and going steady/LTR's. I must admit although the second one does sound like the 60's (from what I can remember), in this day and age I'm glad my son and I opt for the third.

Fortunately the women over the last few years in my life rarely seem to be of the kind described above. Their sex drives are at least equal to mine. I love it.

[Diverbrian]

Why complicate things? I'll take option D for right now. That is that I don't have to worry about a sex drive if I do my best to keep it in neutral. I would like to have the discipline at this point that one lady discussed (and another of my dive buddies mentioned to me)...

...if the sex drive is shifted out of first gear, then things should have already progressed to marriage. I just seem to note that the decisions made with the big head work out well far more often than the decisions made with the little head.

[drdiver]

Fortunately the women over the last few years in my life rarely seem to be of the kind described above. Their sex drives are at least equal to mine. I love it.

It's true, you don't meet many of the old fashioned gold digger types like you used to.
And they all seem much more interested in sex, you're right.

[drbill]

Any "gold digger" would soon give up on this "starving" marine biologist!

[Basslet]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

You need to find more friends with benefits....

While that may be true, that last line was from the joke, not me.

[Basslet]

Why complicate things? I'll take option D for right now. That is that I don't have to worry about a sex drive if I do my best to keep it in neutral. I would like to have the discipline at this point that one lady discussed (and another of my dive buddies mentioned to me)...

...if the sex drive is shifted out of first gear, then things should have already progressed to marriage. I just seem to note that the decisions made with the big head work out well far more often than the decisions made with the little head.

What is Option D? Abstinence?

[Basslet]

DrDiver-

Had an interesting talk with my nephew and his friend Allison while there were out. He is a HS senior and she is attending college this year. We discussed concepts like "friends with benefits," "hooking up," and going steady/LTR's. I must admit although the second one does sound like the 60's (from what I can remember), in this day and age I'm glad my son and I opt for the third.

Yeah. That's the ideal. (sigh) But a friend "with benefits" sounds pretty good to me too.

[drdiver]

Any "gold digger" would soon give up on this "starving" marine biologist!

See Drbill, the tides of social change are all working in your favor. You will soon be swept up in a veritable grunion spawning of available females, I know it!

[drdiver]

Yeah. That's the ideal. (sigh) But a friend "with benefits" sounds pretty good to me too.

Like the old Steve Stills song
"And if you can't be, with the one you love
Love the one you're with"

Edited by drdiver, 29 July 2005 - 08:59 AM.

[Basslet]

Yeah. That's the ideal. (sigh) But a friend "with benefits" sounds pretty good to me too.

Like the old Steve Stills song
"And if you can't be, with the one you love
Love the one you're with"

Just make sure you practice safe sex. That song was written pre-AIDs, herpes and all other kind of nasty things that can't be cured with some penicillin

[drbill]

See Drbill, the tides of social change are all working in your favor. You will soon be swept up in a veritable grunion spawning of available females, I know it!

It is strange DrDiver... when I am single, I rarely get approached (and am a bit shy about approaching). When I am with someone, the ladies seem to come out of the woodwork. Must be something I give off (increased pheromone levels???). Of course I don't think this is unique to me, other men have commented on it too.

[drdiver]

Just make sure you practice safe sex. That song was written pre-AIDs, herpes and all other kind of nasty things that can't be cured with some penicillin lmao.gif

Hey, I'm a microbiologist, we invented safe sex!