123 replies to this topic

[cmt489]

This time my dear Caetllonn let me correct you.. here's the list:

Web Designer
House Music Producer
Video Producer/Editor
Personal Chef
Barista
Wine Enthusiast
Former Photojournalist in Magazine/Newspaper
Editorial/Commercial Photographer
Dive Industry Writer (look me up on Google)
Recently certified SSI DiveCon
IAFD & S.A.F.E.R. Freedive Instructor
and in my off time... I go diving..

And, most importantly, a member of SD.com!

[Neptuner]

What a beautiful read Miss Caetllonn... no surprise coming from you, but certainly appreciated!

[freedivers]

This time my dear Caetllonn let me correct you.. here's the list:

Web Designer
House Music Producer
Video Producer/Editor
Personal Chef
Barista
Wine Enthusiast
Former Photojournalist in Magazine/Newspaper
Editorial/Commercial Photographer
Dive Industry Writer (look me up on Google)
Recently certified SSI DiveCon
IAFD & S.A.F.E.R. Freedive Instructor
and in my off time... I go diving..

And, most importantly, a member of SD.com!

Of course the most important one is being a member of SD.com..

[drbill]

"Love is that condition in which someone else's happiness is essential to your own."

Walter the Wise,

Can you clarify this one for me? (You know how I seem to constantly get things wrong, after all! )

On the first reading I liked it, but then the thought popped into my head that it almost creates a dependence on another person. What happens if/once that person stops loving you, while you're still loving her?

If her happiness is SO essential to your happiness ...

Then you are happy that she has found happiness even if it is without you. I have been in this position where my love for the other allowed me to be happy even when they chose to be with another. In fact one of the true loves of my life, a woman I dated in my college years, found her happiness this way... and I was happy for her. So did another woman I dated much later. I am still happy for both of them and remain friends to this day.

On occasion one may even find their happiness is being with me. Why, I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way. Tee hee.

[drbill]

Remeber, Caetllonn, he could be colour blind! 

Oh my! I'd hope not! Cliff works in graphic design and photography, I believe.

Not color blind, just needed to be hit in the forehead with a proverbial 2x4...

This time my dear Caetllonn let me correct you.. here's the list:

Web Designer
House Music Producer
Video Producer/Editor
Personal Chef
Barista
Wine Enthusiast
Former Photojournalist in Magazine/Newspaper
Editorial/Commercial Photographer
Dive Industry Writer (look me up on Google)
Recently certified SSI DiveCon
IAFD & S.A.F.E.R. Freedive Instructor
and in my off time... I go diving..

The only color discrimination that's really important is whether you can tell the reds from the whites (wines that is).

[mongoose]

Man, oh, man... this is one thread I KNOW I better stay out of!

[freedivers]

The only color discrimination that's really important is whether you can tell the reds from the whites (wines that is).

AMEN on that one BRO'!!!

I'm about to head out to the local Jazz Bistro to see the difference is on the latest Pinot's..

[WreckWench]

Of course the most important one is being a member of SD.com..

OK now I KNOW what love is!!!

[annasea]

"Love is that condition in which someone else's happiness is essential to your own."

On the first reading I liked it, but then the thought popped into my head that it almost creates a dependence on another person. What happens if/once that person stops loving you, while you're still loving her?

If her happiness is SO essential to your happiness ...

To derive one's own happiness from another is, from my perspective, an unhealthy one.

Developing a healthy perspective on finding happiness within yourself and having higher levels of satisfaction by being with someone who also is happy with themselves. When two are deriving the same thing in return - higher levels of satisfaction within the confines of love can be found.

If that cannot be found seperately, then you develop a parasitical relationship that will eventually become unhealthy due to it's very nature. And when one is no longer happy, and decides to break off the relationship, the dumpee's very deep disappointment is a direct result of unrealistic expectations of what happiness is through love.

Cliff,

Very nice explanation.

But I must confess it reminded me of a quote from Andy Warhol's, The Philosophy of Andy Warhol. (While he apparently did not do any of the writing himself, it's still an entertaining read nonetheless.)

A: I like your apartment.
B: It's nice, but it's only big enough for one person -- or two people who are very close.
A: You know two people who are very close?



BTW, you're quite the Rennaissance Man! Got any quick-and-dirty recipes for chicken or tofu?? I hate cooking but I'm always looking!

[annasea]

"Love is that condition in which someone else's happiness is essential to your own."

On the first reading I liked it, but then the thought popped into my head that it almost creates a dependence on another person. What happens if/once that person stops loving you, while you're still loving her?

If her happiness is SO essential to your happiness ...

Then you are happy that she has found happiness even if it is without you. I have been in this position where my love for the other allowed me to be happy even when they chose to be with another. In fact one of the true loves of my life, a woman I dated in my college years, found her happiness this way... and I was happy for her. So did another woman I dated much later. I am still happy for both of them and remain friends to this day.

On occasion one may even find their happiness is being with me. Why, I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way. Tee hee.

Bill,

I reckon your explanation is far more accurate as to what the quote meant than my interpretation. Thx for sharing!

I think it's wonderful that you were able to be happy for and remain friendly with the women you wrote of in your post. Most people would have a hard time doing that, I believe.

I hope as well that you do find the *one* you write of in your second paragraph. You're certainly worthy!

[Walter]

Caetllonn,

Bill nailed it, there's no reason for me to explain.

[WreckWench]

 

"Love is that condition in which someone else's happiness is essential to your own."

Then you are happy that she has found happiness even if it is without you. I have been in this position where my love for the other allowed me to be happy even when they chose to be with another.
On occasion one may even find their happiness is being with me. Why, I wouldn't blame them for thinking that way. Tee hee.

WOW!!! What a powerful thought. To love is to need others in our lives in such a way that their happiness brings us happiness and is essential to our happiness even if that happiness is with another person besides ourself.

This is so simple yet so powerful and so unconditional. I think I have a new benchmark and milestone for this wonderous mystery called 'love'.

[Neptuner]

Hey, is it just me or could mongoose and freedivers be brothers?

[drbill]

This is so simple yet so powerful and so unconditional. I think I have a new benchmark and milestone for this wonderous mystery called 'love'.

WW- Understand that my response to these two women is not necessarily typical, but I think it does set a "standard" (at least for me). There are others whose departure has created anger and bitterness, but I think I was not truly in love with them. Heh, heh... also keep in mind that I'm still single after all these years!

Caetllon- Of course there was also pain in the separation, but the real love I felt for them triumphed. My college sweetheart is still married to her man, and I'm still in touch on an infrequent basis. And, sigh... I'm not worthy...NOT!

[David Evans]

I recognize that my faith isn't shared by everyone on the planet, but Bill's explanation aligns quite accurately with my own feelings on love and on my faith.

Among other things, it's interesting to read different translations of the Bible on the specific chapter I mentioned: 1 Corinthians 13.

The King James Version interchanges the words "faith" and "love" in a couple of different places when compared to, say, the New International Version. Not being a Greek or Hebrew scholar, I don't know what the original word meant, but obviously there is a word in the original text that could be interpreted to mean either faith or love.

I wonder if faith and love have the same essence to them... if having love means having faith. It's an interesting question to ponder, I think.

As for Bill's nice distinction to Walter's quote, and my own experiences:

When I was going through my divorce - a divorce I didn't want - I prayed daily to be reconciled with my ex. This course of action brought me much heartache and misery and pain and lots of tears.

When I changed my behavior to one of praying for *her* happiness, rather than for my own selfish desire for reconciliation, the end result was the same - I still wound up divorced, but I was able to reach my own peace with the outcome much more quickly than I think I might have been able to otherwise.

I would concur with Bill's interpretation: the act of truly celebrating someone else's happiness, even if you're not part of the equation, is an act of true love...

-d